Talk:John Balmer/GA1

Latest comment: 13 years ago by Ian Rose in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Reviewer: Nick-D (talk) 07:26, 20 March 2011 (UTC)Reply

I'll review this article either tonight or over the next few days.

Interesting, I'm sure I checked this a few times after you opened the page but only just seen the comments now even though the history says you posted them on the 20th...! Anyway, better late than never (on my part) -- and many thanks for reviewing. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 09:44, 25 March 2011 (UTC)Reply

Comments

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This is a very high quality article. I've got a few comments, of which only the third, fourth and sixth are really relevant to passing the GA criteria:

  • Should "on the 1933 'B' course" be "in the 1933 'B' course"?
    • Well, I always thought you went "on" a course rather than "in" a course... Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 09:44, 25 March 2011 (UTC)Reply
      • I think that the usage is 'in' (eg you participate 'in' a course), but it's not a big deal
  • What's meant by "commissioned as a pilot"? ("commissioned" is usually used to refer to earning a rank rather than qualifying as something)
  • The ADB entry doesn't say that he gained "national attention as a long-distance motorist", though this does seem likely.
  • "Parallel to his Air Force career" sounds a bit odd as he obviously wasn't flying aircraft and driving cars simultaneously.
    • I didn't think it really came across like that the way it's worded. I thought about this at the time and decided it was better to put it this way so it wasn't implied that he left the Air Force for a time (as some did before the war, and then rejoined) when he took up motoring. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 09:44, 25 March 2011 (UTC)Reply
      • Fair enough - I was probably being rather pedantic here
  • "cannibalised" might be a bit unclear to readers who aren't familiar with the ways in which military units are formed - you could say that 13 Sqn was formed by "splitting" 12 Sqn or similar.
  • "before returning to the New Guinea Campaign at its new base in Milne Bay" - this reads as if Milne Bay was the new base for the campaign, not the squadron

Assessment against GA criteria

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GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

  1. Is it reasonably well written?
    A. Prose quality:  
    B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:  
  2. Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
    A. References to sources:  
    B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:  
    C. No original research:  
  3. Is it broad in its coverage?
    A. Major aspects:  
    B. Focused:  
  4. Is it neutral?
    Fair representation without bias:  
  5. Is it stable?
    No edit wars, etc:  
  6. Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
    A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:  
    B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:  
  7. Overall:
    Pass or Fail:  
Thanks Nick. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 10:16, 25 March 2011 (UTC)Reply