Talk:John Glenn/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Joshualouie711 (talk · contribs) 18:36, 22 February 2017 (UTC)

I'm planning to review this article. --Joshualouie711^talk 18:36, 22 February 2017 (UTC)

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars, etc.:

6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

7. Overall:

   Pass/Fail:

Criterion 1: "reasonably well written"
Early life and education

• "Glenn was born on July 18, 1921, in Cambridge, Ohio, the son of John Herschel Glenn, Sr. (owner of the Glenn Plumbing Company) and teacher Clara Teresa (née Sproat,[1][2][3] and was raised in nearby New Concord[4] with his adopted sister Jean.[5]" A parenthesis is opened right before "née Sproat" but never closed.
  • Done

Military career

• "When the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor brought the United States into World War II, Glenn quit college to enlist in the U.S. Army Air Corps." Instead of linking "Pearl Harbor" to the place, maybe try linking "attack on Pearl Harbor" to the December 1941 attack, since that's more relevant here.

 Done --Light show (talk) 03:14, 4 March 2017 (UTC)

• "Completing his training in March 1943, Glenn was commissioned as a second lieutenant." Should read "Having completed his training..." to agree with "Glenn was commissioned".

 Done --Light show (talk) 03:14, 4 March 2017 (UTC)

• "Glenn's first assignment was testing the FJ-3 Fury, a Navy version of the F-86 Sabre which nearly killed him when its cockpit depressurized and its oxygen system failed.[6]:208–210" The F-86 Sabre didn't nearly kill him, the assignment nearly did.

 Done --Light show (talk) 03:14, 4 March 2017 (UTC)

NASA career

• "The task force was moved to Houston in 1962, and became part of the NASA Manned Spacecraft Center.[30]" If the task force became part of the NAS Manned Spacecraft Center when it was moved to Houston, no comma is necessary.

 Done --Light show (talk) 03:28, 4 March 2017 (UTC)

• "A portion of the training was education, and they studied subjects such as graduate-level introductory space science." Awkward sentence. Try something like "A portion of the training involved studying subjects such as..."

 Done --Light show (talk) 03:28, 4 March 2017 (UTC)

• "They relayed these instructions to Glenn, but did not tell him that the heat shield was possibly loose and so he was left confused at this order, but complied." Somewhat awkward. Maybe something like "...but did not tell him that the heat shield was possibly loose; although confused at this order, Glenn complied."

 Done --Light show (talk) 03:28, 4 March 2017 (UTC)

• "After the flight, it was determined that the heat shield was in fact not loose at all and it was merely a faulty sensor.[33]" This makes it sound like the faulty sensor was loose, not that the sensor gave an incorrect reading about the heat shield. Clarify.

 Done --Light show (talk) 03:28, 4 March 2017 (UTC)

• "The "best day of his life", it renewed U.S. confidence.[42]" Awkward. "The mission, which he later described as "the best day of his life", renewed U.S. confidence.

 Done --Light show (talk) 03:28, 4 March 2017 (UTC)

Political career

• "Glenn was a part of several committees during his first term as Senator. He served on the Government Operations Committee, Interior and Insular Affairs Committee, Energy Research and Water Resources Subcommittee, and chaired the Energy, Nuclear Proliferation, and Federal Services Subcommittee of the Governmental Affairs Committee." Combine the two sentences.

 Done --Light show (talk) 03:53, 4 March 2017 (UTC)

• "According to many observers, Glenn's "Gold Star Mothers" speech won him the primary.[55][56]" Who are the many observers? "Many observers" is a weasel phrase. Clarify.

 Done --Light show (talk) 03:53, 4 March 2017 (UTC)

• "First Lady Rosalynn Carter also spoke at the event, in which she criticized Glenn for speaking publicly about the issue." "During which", not "in which". "In which" would be used if the article referred to her speech.

 Done --Light show (talk) 03:53, 4 March 2017 (UTC)

• "Voinovich's charges were criticized by many, including Glenn (who recorded a statement for television rebutting the mayor's charges); Metzenbaum won, 57 to 41 percent." Same problem, although less pronounced. Who are the others who criticized Voinovich's charges?

 Done --Light show (talk) 03:53, 4 March 2017 (UTC)

• "Glenn was one of the Keating Five: U.S. senators who were caught up in the savings and loan crisis after he accepted a $200,000 campaign contribution from Lincoln Savings and Loan Association head Charles Keating." A comma should replace the colon, and unlink the dollar sign per WP:OVERLINK--in context, the dollar sign is easily understood.

 Done --Light show (talk) 03:53, 4 March 2017 (UTC)

Return to space

• "According to the New York Times, Glenn "won his seat on the Shuttle flight by lobbying NASA for two years to fly as a human guinea pig for geriatric studies"; this was cited as the main reason for his participation in the mission.[70]" Capitalize "The" as the title of the newspaper.

 Done --Light show (talk) 03:57, 4 March 2017 (UTC)

• "He regretted NASA's not following up the research on aging by sending other older people into space.[71]" Unsure if that's proper grammar, ignore this if it's correct.

 Done --Light show (talk) 03:57, 4 March 2017 (UTC)

Personal life

• "Glenn's business partner was Henri Landwirth, a Holocaust survivor who became his "best friend."[89]" Why is "best friend" in quotation marks?

 Done --Light show (talk) 04:03, 4 March 2017 (UTC)

• "The Glenns attended the ceremony, and he spoke about how visiting the airport as a child had kindled his interest in flying.[94]" "Glenn and his family attended the ceremony, during which Glenn spoke about..."

 Done --Light show (talk) 04:03, 4 March 2017 (UTC)

Awards and honors

• "In 1961 Glenn received an honorary LL.D from Muskingum University, the college he attended before joining the military in World War II.[8]" Comma between "1961" and "Glenn" to be consistent with the rest of the article.

 Done --Light show (talk) 04:03, 4 March 2017 (UTC)

• "In 2000 Glenn received the U.S. Senator John Heinz Award for public service by an elected or appointed official, one of the annual Jefferson Awards.[117]" Same as above.

 Done --Light show (talk) 04:03, 4 March 2017 (UTC)

Criteria 2: "factually accurate and verifiable"

• The reference "Navy Christens John Glenn" gives a 404 page, dead link, although that isn't much of a problem as the statement doesn't require a citation.

 Fixed, added new source anyway. --Light show (talk) 04:15, 4 March 2017 (UTC)

• The reference "Illus. Brother John H. Glenn, Jr." seems a bit unreliable as a source. Other than those, sources check out.

 Fixed, added another source. --Light show (talk) 04:15, 4 March 2017 (UTC)

• As for copyright, the copyvio detector says that there's a nearly 60% chance of a match with this NASA article. However, this seems to be due mostly to a list of organizations that he belonged to, not due to a mass copy-and-pasting of text.

As for the copy vio, NASA works are PD and we could technically copy/paste the source, but I prefer not to since this is fresh content as far as I am concerned.

Criterion 3: "broad in its coverage"

• The section "Public-affairs institute" is rather small and unnecessary, so it could simply be merged into the life section.

 Done --Light show (talk) 04:31, 4 March 2017 (UTC)

• "After STS-95 returned safely, its crew received a ticker-tape parade; this made Glenn the tenth (and latest) individual to receive multiple ticker-tape parades." It's not really relevant that nine other people had a bunch of ticker-tape parades before Glenn--it detracts from the article.

 Fixed--Light show (talk) 04:31, 4 March 2017 (UTC)

• "Other non-band members to receive the honor include Bob Hope, Woody Hayes, Jack Nicklaus and Earle Bruce.[91]" Irrelevant as well to the topic.

 Fixed--Light show (talk) 04:31, 4 March 2017 (UTC)

Criterion 4: "follows the neutral point of view policy"

• Fine.

Criterion 5: "stable"

• Yeah, definitely stable. Not much to say here.

It's also pretty clean. --Light show (talk) 04:31, 4 March 2017 (UTC)

Criterion 6: "illustrated by images and other media, where appropriate and possible"

• All but three images are in the public domain, with the other images falling under the CC BY 3.0 or 4.0 licences, so no copyright problems. Captions are all good, and images are all relevant.

Since there are only a few minor issues with the articles that could be improved, I'm putting this article on hold for the standard period of 7 days.

Apologies for the delay in the review, I'll try to finish it within 48 hours.

No worries, it is a big article. Kees08 (talk) 17:43, 27 February 2017 (UTC)

@Joshualouie711: Looks like Light show took care of the things you pointed out, let me know if further edits are required. Thanks!

@Kees08: Passing article now. --Joshualouie711^talk 20:48, 4 March 2017 (UTC)

Oh, and by the way, just letting you know that your ping template malfunctioned--the ping only goes through if the post is signed.