Talk:John Manners (cricketer)/GA1
Latest comment: 4 years ago by AssociateAffiliate in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 13:12, 6 April 2020 (UTC)
Comments
- Mildly dubious about the fair use rationale. He's only been deceased four weeks, are we certain no free photos are available?
- I have searched for free photos, none seem to be avaliable. StickyWicket (talk) 22:29, 6 April 2020 (UTC)
- "from 1932–1958" -> "from 1932 to 1958".
- "First-class cricket" could be linked in the lead.
- Linked the first mention. StickyWicket (talk) 22:29, 6 April 2020 (UTC)
- "(1883-1953)" en-dash.
- " (1883-1967)," likewise
- "he was born at Exeter" ->"John Manners was born in Exeter"
- "He was commissioned" Manners was commissioned...
- "in January 1935. In September 1935," bit repetitive.
- Have reworded → "in January 1935. In September of the same year,". StickyWicket (talk) 22:29, 6 April 2020 (UTC)
- "for the Royal Navy as " link this the first time.
- Linked the first mention to differentiate between the actual Royal Navy and the Royal Navy Cricket Club. StickyWicket (talk) 22:39, 6 April 2020 (UTC)
- "in his first-innings " no need to hyphenate.
- Second World War or World War II, be consistent.
- Done, Second World War it is! StickyWicket (talk) 22:39, 6 April 2020 (UTC)
- Image captions which are complete sentences should have full stops.
- Singapore, Japan, France, etc, these are all a bit Easter egg links for me.
- I can see what you mean! I tend to link the political entities they were if historical and not bother with current political entities. I've reworded the part that linked to France, what do you suggest with the other two? StickyWicket (talk) 22:29, 6 April 2020 (UTC)
- Well, it's not that bad. I think, on a second read, what's worse is the quick repeat of "sailed for"...! The Rambling Man (Stay indoors, stay safe!!!!) 09:46, 7 April 2020 (UTC)
- Slight reword done, the seond use of "sailed" has been reworded. StickyWicket (talk) 09:54, 7 April 2020 (UTC)
- Well, it's not that bad. I think, on a second read, what's worse is the quick repeat of "sailed for"...! The Rambling Man (Stay indoors, stay safe!!!!) 09:46, 7 April 2020 (UTC)
- I can see what you mean! I tend to link the political entities they were if historical and not bother with current political entities. I've reworded the part that linked to France, what do you suggest with the other two? StickyWicket (talk) 22:29, 6 April 2020 (UTC)
- "Mediterranean" is overlinked.
- Oops well spotted! Now linked once. StickyWicket (talk) 22:29, 6 April 2020 (UTC)
- "12,600 tonnes", "250 metres", "2,200 yards" etc convert?
- Converted 12,600 tonnes to kg (would a conversion to a volume be more appropriate?), 250 metres to feet and yards to miles. StickyWicket (talk) 07:42, 7 April 2020 (UTC)
- Probably to pounds would be more natural for a portion of our audience. The Rambling Man (Stay indoors, stay safe!!!!) 09:46, 7 April 2020 (UTC)
- Have changed the conversion to pounds. StickyWicket (talk) 09:54, 7 April 2020 (UTC)
- Probably to pounds would be more natural for a portion of our audience. The Rambling Man (Stay indoors, stay safe!!!!) 09:46, 7 April 2020 (UTC)
- Converted 12,600 tonnes to kg (would a conversion to a volume be more appropriate?), 250 metres to feet and yards to miles. StickyWicket (talk) 07:42, 7 April 2020 (UTC)
- "the St Lawrence Ground (pictured)" pictured in what year?
- "bursar at Dauntsey's School in Wiltshire. ... His time as bursar at Dauntsey's" repetitive.
- Have removed the second mention of "bursar". StickyWicket (talk) 22:29, 6 April 2020 (UTC)
- No need to link words like "craft".
- Page ranges in refs need en-dashes.
- "Oldest Living First-Class Cricketer" -> "Oldest living first-class cricketer"
- "Graduates of Britannia Royal Naval College" as a category, not mentioned in the article.
- Now mentioned in the article. StickyWicket (talk) 22:39, 6 April 2020 (UTC)
That's it for a first pass. On hold. Cheers. The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 14:54, 6 April 2020 (UTC)
- AssociateAffiliate couple of replies up there. The Rambling Man (Stay indoors, stay safe!!!!) 09:46, 7 April 2020 (UTC)
- The Rambling Man replied to your replies! Cheers. StickyWicket (talk) 09:54, 7 April 2020 (UTC)
- Okeydokes, happy with this now, so promoting. Good work. The Rambling Man (Stay indoors, stay safe!!!!) 10:30, 7 April 2020 (UTC)
- Excellent stuff, many thanks The Rambling Man, cheers! StickyWicket (talk) 11:18, 7 April 2020 (UTC)
- Okeydokes, happy with this now, so promoting. Good work. The Rambling Man (Stay indoors, stay safe!!!!) 10:30, 7 April 2020 (UTC)
- The Rambling Man replied to your replies! Cheers. StickyWicket (talk) 09:54, 7 April 2020 (UTC)
- AssociateAffiliate couple of replies up there. The Rambling Man (Stay indoors, stay safe!!!!) 09:46, 7 April 2020 (UTC)