Talk:John Mason Loomis/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Eddie891 (talk · contribs) 20:53, 6 June 2021 (UTC)

Can review Eddie891 ^Talk _Work 20:53, 6 June 2021 (UTC)

• Imgs look good Eddie891 ^Talk _Work 23:38, 14 June 2021 (UTC)
•  Done

• Lede could be expanded a couple sentences
•  Done Expanded lead.

• "the colonial forces" can you specify what these forces were?
•  Done copy edited to say, "John Loomis was named after a prominent officer in the colonial forces of the Connecticut Colony who was distinguished for his gallantry during the French and Indian War."

The source says, The parents of John Mason Loomis were James Loomis a native of Windsor who was a farmer merchant and miller who also served for many years as Colonel of First Regiment of Connecticut State Militia being a public spirited man having an for military duties and Abigail Sherwood Chaffee Loomis a native of Greenfield Hill Fairfield County Connecticut the descendant of a family of very high social standing. Their son was named John Mason after a very prominent officer in the colonial forces who was distinguished for his gallantry during the continuous wars with the Indian tribes.

• "In 1869 the Pere Marquette Lumber Company of Ludington" I thought Ludington didn't exist when the company was founded?
•  Done Copy edited accordingly

• "When he was 18, Loomis became a captain in the state militia. He became a Navy midshipman, but became" can you rephrase to repeat 'became' less?
•  Done Copy edited accordingly

• "several influential men in Chicago" would it be possible to name them?
•  Done The source only says, To this request, backed by the earnest appeals of influential citizens of Chicago, Mr. Loomis responded with a favorable answer...

• could you link "Indian Wars of New England"
•  Done Removed this paragraph, as this has already been said in Early life.

• "not considered a politician, was active in the selection of good men for office" not considered by who, and could you clarify his involvement in selecting 'good' men for office?
•  Done Source doesn't say anything other than, is active in the selection of good men for office and the securing of good government.

• @Eddie891: Addressed the issues above. Can you take a look. Thanks.--Doug Coldwell (talk) 17:09, 22 June 2021 (UTC)
• @Eddie891: User:Cleveland Todd (of GOCE) has recently made some additional improvements.--Doug Coldwell (talk) 14:22, 23 June 2021 (UTC)

• Some more to come... Eddie891 ^Talk _Work 21:03, 21 June 2021 (UTC)

• As far as sourcing goes, what makes "Together We Served.com" and "http://gracechurchonthegreen.org/" reliable sources? Eddie891 ^Talk _Work 23:39, 14 June 2021 (UTC)

• I'll get replacement references for those ASAP. I'll start on that today. --Doug Coldwell (talk) 09:25, 15 June 2021 (UTC)
• @Eddie891: Replaced "Together We Served.com" and Grace Church with reliable sources. Can You take another look. Thanks.--Doug Coldwell (talk) 14:52, 15 June 2021 (UTC)

  OK, seems reasonable now. Eddie891 ^Talk _Work 12:01, 25 June 2021 (UTC)