Talk:John Trask (cricketer)

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:John Trask (cricketer)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Sportsfan77777 (talk · contribs) 08:57, 14 May 2022 (UTC)

I'll review this article. Sportsfan77777 (talk) 08:57, 14 May 2022 (UTC)

Lead

• Is it worth including "during the late 19th century" when his whole life was in the late 19th century?
  • Fair point, cut. Harrias ^{(he/him) • talk} 12:43, 14 May 2022 (UTC)
• As a cricketer, he ===>>> As a cricketer, Trask
  • Changed. Harrias ^{(he/him) • talk} 12:43, 14 May 2022 (UTC)
• Maybe add a sentence on the Doyle reference?
  • Added a line, how's that? Harrias ^{(he/him) • talk} 12:43, 14 May 2022 (UTC)

Early

• Swap the second or third "after" in the first paragraph with a synonym (e.g. "following")
  • Varied the second and the third. Harrias ^{(he/him) • talk} 12:43, 14 May 2022 (UTC)
• despatch <<<=== typo
  • Good spot, fixed. Harrias ^{(he/him) • talk} 12:43, 14 May 2022 (UTC)

Cricket

• debut first-class cricket match <<<=== Is "debut" a correct term for a team's first match? I would use that for a player, but would think something like "inaugural" would fit better for a team.
  • I think debut is fine, but inaugural is better. Changed. Harrias ^{(he/him) • talk} 12:43, 14 May 2022 (UTC)
• Poor results in 1885 saw Somerset lose their first-class status for the following seasons <<<=== Did they formally have "first-class" cricket back then, or was this determined retroactively?
  • A bit of both. It wasn't as formalised then as now, but it was very much a "thing", though the terminology was sometimes a bit loose. Harrias ^{(he/him) • talk} 12:43, 14 May 2022 (UTC)
• Suggest starting the last paragraph with "Trask" instead of "He"
  • Done. Harrias ^{(he/him) • talk} 12:43, 14 May 2022 (UTC)
• "making 78" <<=== Is there a way to avoid repeat "made/making" here?
  • Changed "..made his highest.." to "..reached his highest.." Harrias ^{(he/him) • talk} 12:43, 14 May 2022 (UTC)

Book

• Suggest starting this section with something like: Trask was thought to have been referred to in one of Arthur Conan Doyle's books. With the current setup, it's not clear why the article just starts talking about Doyle.
  • Blended your suggestion with the current wording, let me know what you think. Harrias ^{(he/him) • talk} 12:43, 14 May 2022 (UTC)
• Per MOS:SIR, is it correct to use "Sir" when referring to someone?
  • MOS:SIR says their use is optional, so yes. Harrias ^{(he/him) • talk} 12:43, 14 May 2022 (UTC)

Overall

• Suggest titling ref 2 as "John Trask's death reported" even if that's not the real title, or just doing something to avoid the error.
  • I've used the first part of the opening sentence: "The sad intelligence of the death from cholera in the Soudan of Surgeon-Captain John Trask". Harrias ^{(he/him) • talk} 12:43, 14 May 2022 (UTC)
• It isn't recommended to use "Bibliography" as a section header because it's not clear if it's works cited or the subject's works.
  • Sure, but the MOS specifically says it is permitted "Several alternate titles ("Sources", "Citations", "Bibliography") may also be used.." As I'm not writing about an author, I don't think there is too much scope for confusion. Harrias ^{(he/him) • talk} 12:43, 14 May 2022 (UTC)

Looks great! Just a few small things, some of which I wasn't sure about. On hold. Sportsfan77777 (talk) 11:07, 14 May 2022 (UTC)

@Sportsfan77777: Thanks for the review; responded to each point above, let me know what you think. Harrias ^{(he/him) • talk} 12:43, 14 May 2022 (UTC)

• • Passing, good work! Sportsfan77777 (talk) 13:48, 14 May 2022 (UTC)