Talk:Johor Bahru/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Sainsf (talk · contribs) 06:12, 25 March 2016 (UTC)

Hi! I will review this. @Muffin Wizard: You appear to be inactive since December 2015. I will keep this review open for 7 days from now, and add a note at Wikipedia talk:WikiProject Southeast Asia to see if anyone wishes to assist with the review. If there is no significant response within a week from now, I shall have to fail this article. Sainsf <^>_{Feel at home} 06:12, 25 March 2016 (UTC)

Lead

• As per WP:MOSLEAD, too much of pronunciation detail can look clumsy. You should keep just one language; the rest is there in the infobox.

•  Done Malaysian language is the only one in the lead. I moved the Jawi, Chinese and Tamil forms to the infobox.

• Please do not keep citations in the lead. They should go into the main text. And ensure that all facts in the lead occur in the main text

•  Done I copied the sentences containing the cited parts into their respective areas and moved the citations along with it so that the lead contains little or no citations.

• The lead looks very short. Please expand it to 3 to 4 paragraphs. It should cover most aspects of the article.  Done
• Link Malay Peninsula

•  Done

• Johor Bahru was the southernmost city in the Malay Peninsula Why "was"?

•  Done I have checked the source for it (located on page 253). It should be "is", not "was".

Etymology

Resolved

Sainsf <^>_{Feel at home} 09:31, 28 March 2016 (UTC)

• Tanjung Puteri, Iskandar Puteri This should be in italics as they are foreign words. What does it mean and in which language?

•  Done

• Temenggong death --> the Temenggong's death

•  Done

• Johore Bahru or Johore Bharu , Johor Baru or Johor Baharu In italics

•  Done

• Little Swatow No italics, put in double quotes

•  Done

• Can British and Chinese be linked?

•  Done For the Chinese, I linked it to Malaysian Chinese while for the British, the sentence is pertaining to the language and how it should be written out so I linked it to British English. I am not 100% sure if the link to British English is the best one in this scenario.
  • Yes, that's perfect. Malaysia always uses British English. Cerevisae (talk) 05:20, 28 March 2016 (UTC)

History

Resolved

Sainsf <^>_{Feel at home} 09:26, 28 March 2016 (UTC)

• Can this be split into subsections?

•  Done I have split it into British administration, WWII and post independence based on the context of each paragraphs.

• which was already split in 1819 with the mainland Johor Sultanate What does it mean?

•  Done changed to "the Johor-Riau Empire was split in 1819 with the mainland Johor Sultanate came under the control of Temenggong Daeng Ibrahim while the Riau-Lingga Sultanate came under the control of the Bugis." Cerevisae (talk) 08:49, 28 March 2016 (UTC)

• he renamed it Iskandar Puteri The name should be in italics.

•  Done

• After Temenggong deaths on 31 January 1862 Looks like an error

•  Done I saw that error too. I changed it to "After Temenggong's death on 31 January 1862".

• Johor Bahru In double quotes

•  Done

• and the administration's position was succeeded by his son What does it mean?

•  Done changed to "After Temenggong's death on 31 January 1862, the town was renamed "Johor Bahru" and his position was succeded by his son, Abu Bakar with the administration centre in Telok Blangah being moved to the area in 1889." Cerevisae (talk) 08:49, 28 March 2016 (UTC)

• As the Johor-British relationship have become close Looks like an error

•  Done changed "As the Johor-British relationship improved,..." Cerevisae (talk) 08:49, 28 March 2016 (UTC)

• At the first stage of Abu Bakar's administration "In the first phase of" may be better

•  Done

• he also set up his administration Say clearly who "he" is. We discuss many names here

•  Done It refers to Abu Bakar, which I have done by changing the sentence to clarify on the "he"

• Although the British have long became the adviser for the Sultanate of Johor, the Sultanate never came under direct colonial control. Looks like an error

•  Done changed to "never came under direct colonial rule of the British." Cerevisae (talk) 08:49, 28 March 2016 (UTC)

• It only effectively came into effect when the status of adviser Looks awkward. And why is adviser (or advisor as I expect it to be) in italics?

•  Done changed to "The direct colonial rule only came into effect when the status of the adviser was elevated to a status similar to that of a Resident in the Federated Malay States (FMS) during the reign of Sultan Ibrahim in 1904." Cerevisae (talk) 08:49, 28 March 2016 (UTC)

• was however halted --> was, however, halted

•  Done

• The Japanese choose the palace "chose"

•  Done

• and easily invading the whole Singapore island Looks like an error

•  Done changed to "and invaded the Singapore island easily" Cerevisae (talk) 08:49, 28 March 2016 (UTC)

• while the Malay's dominance in political matters was agreed by non-Malays --> and the Malays' dominance in political matters being agreed upon by non-Malays

•  Done

• was however continuously been flared Looks like an error

•  Done changed to "Racial conflict between the Malay and non-Malays, especially the Chinese, is being provoked continuously since the Malayan Emergency." Cerevisae (talk) 08:49, 28 March 2016 (UTC)

• until the bombing of the MacDonald House in Singapore Add when.

•  Done in 1965 Cerevisae (talk) 08:49, 28 March 2016 (UTC)

• Duplink: Johor–Singapore Causeway

•  Done Also fixed a minor grammatical error by adding that after 1923 and before of "linked the railway and road systems between Singapore...:

Capital city

Resolved

Sainsf <^>_{Feel at home} 09:27, 28 March 2016 (UTC)

• Johor Bahru (P.160). Meaning?

• It refers to the parliamentary constituency number. In the case of Johor Bahru, it is assigned the code P.160 (parliamentary constituency "P.160"). I removed the Johor Bharu part since it is repetition.

• Duplink: Johor Bahru City Council.

•  Done Removed overlinking to Johor Bahru City Council

• The current mayor is Add "as of March 2016"

•  Done

• 220 square kilometres , spanning 2,217 square kilometres Convert template

•  Done

Geography

Resolved

Sainsf <^>_{Feel at home} 09:27, 28 March 2016 (UTC)

• 12.12 square kilometres in 1933 before been expanded to over 220 square kilometres , 170 km from the city Convert.

•  Done

• following the expansion of development Meaning?

•  Done removed the phrase. Cerevisae (talk) 09:27, 28 March 2016 (UTC)

• above sea level is the --> above sea level, is the

•  Done

• Mount Ophir (Gunung Ledang), which stand at 1,276 metres (4,186 ft) above sea level is the highest point in Johor, located 170 km from the city centre. Source?

•  Done changed to "Mount Pulai". It is the highest mountain/hill near Johor Bahru. Gunung Ledang is too far away. Cerevisae (talk) 09:52, 28 March 2016 (UTC)

Climate

Resolved

Sainsf <^>_{Feel at home} 09:33, 28 March 2016 (UTC)

• mostly falling from November until February. Remove "falling"

•  Done

• a considerable amount of rain and high humidity throughout the course of the year Looks incomplete

• I think the sentence is missing the comma after the and. If I add it, it looks more complete to me.

• through the Southeast Asian monsoon When does it occur?

• @Sainsf: The book source does not mention the period of the Southeast Asian monsoon. All it mentions is that the climate varies according to the Southeast Asian monsoon regime. I am thinking that it is talking about it on a more broad scale rather than restricting it to a certain time of the year.

 Done changed "Southeast Asian monsoon" to "monsoon seasons". The periods are self-explanatory in the next two sentences: north-east and south-west monsoons. Cerevisae (talk) 09:48, 28 March 2016 (UTC)

• every year; the first Colon, not semicolon

•  Done

• Should North-East Monsoon not be north-east monsoon? Same for South-East monsoon

•  Done Corrected "South-East" to "south-west". A monsoon is named after the wind direction it originated from. Cerevisae (talk) 09:48, 28 March 2016 (UTC)

• south and south west. south-west

•  Done

• two-inter Monsoon periods --> two inter-monsoon periods

•  Done

• from March until May and from September until November "to", not "until"

•  Done

Demography

Resolved

Sainsf <^>_{Feel at home} 10:35, 28 March 2016 (UTC)

• Link demonym

•  Done

• The Malaysian Census in 2010 Linking possible?

•  Done Yes. Linking is possible in this case. I have added the link to the Wikipedia page on 2010 Malaysian Census

• was 497,067 "as", not "was"

• @Sainsf: I am bit confused here. Since the Census was conducted in 2010, shouldn't the term be kept as was due to the event already occurring in the past? Nonetheless, I changed it to as 497,067.

Looking at the earlier part of the sentence, "was" would be grammatically wrong. Sainsf <^>_{Feel at home} 09:59, 28 March 2016 (UTC)

• Duplinks: Malays, Javanese, Teochew, Malay

•  Done I have removed overlinking to these terms.

• Javanese stock What is "stock"?

• Ethnicity has always been a confusing concept since it is based on self-identification. I am thinking about ethnicity in the sense that those who identified themselves as Malays are part Javanese (the ethnic group) and ethnic Malays living in Riau (similar to ethnic Chinese living in Malaysia). I am thinking stock refers to the ethnic group and ethnicity (e.g Javanese stock refers to Javanese people/ethnic group). Would "people" be a better alternative than "stock" so that it says "Javanese people"

• There was also a small numbers of Sikhs, Animists and secularists. "Number". Also what is the source for this?  Done (+source)
• The Indian community mainly speaks Tamil. The English language (or Manglish) is also used considerably, albeit more so among the older generation, who have attended school during the British rule Source?  Done (+source)

Economy

Resolved

Sainsf <^>_{Feel at home} 09:27, 28 March 2016 (UTC)

• As well as its specific location in the Indonesia–Malaysia–Singapore Growth Triangle, it become the main commercial centre for Johor Meaning?

•  Done Sentence was a bit awkward. What it is trying to say is that in addition to being in the Indonesia–Malaysia–Singapore region, it is the main commercial centre for Johor state. Rewrite sentence to It is the main commercial centre for Johor and located in the Indonesia–Malaysia–Singapore Growth Triangle. I feel that the "as well" should go since it does not flow with the article.

• Singaporeans along with Indonesians along with--> and

•  Done Changed sentence to better one

• In 2014, the sudden change of weekend rest days... attracting more tourists from Singapore Split the sentence, it is very long.

•  Done Split this into 2 sentences. They read as In 2014, the sudden change of weekend rest days to Friday and Saturday from Saturday and Sunday by the Sultan of Johor had a relatively small impact to the city economy, with business especially affected. and However, it boosted the tourism industry as the holidays would be able to start earlier on Sunday, attracting more tourists from Singapore.

• Duplinks: Singapore, Iskandar Malaysia

•  Done Removed overlinking to these terms

Transport

Resolved

Sainsf <^>_{Feel at home} 10:43, 28 March 2016 (UTC)

• suburbs are Tebrau Highway Use a colon

•  Done Minor changes to sentence to allow the colon to be used properly in this sentence.

• Further expansion of other major highways in the city were currently in the process Meaning?  Done (+to improve the city road connection)
• located 5 kilometres Convert

•  Done

• the city centre has --> the city centre, has

•  Done

• Does taxi need a link?

• In this case, yes. I have checked to see if overlinking for taxi occurs in this article and I could not find one. I think the sentence is good and brief and if readers want to know more about it, they can click on the link. I think it is more convenient that way.

• are known for not using their meter. Simply "do not use their meter".

•  Done

• The city will also be the main hub for a newly formed airline called Flymojo When?  Done (+source)
• In the west side western

•  Done I think saying West of the metropolitan area lies the... is better than using western in this case for sentence flow

• Port of Tanjung Pelepas, which ranks comma, not semicolon

• Is the sentence already using a comma already? I am a bit confused.

• which ranks as Malaysia’s largest container port since 2004 is ranked as the 19th busiest container port in the world as of 2013 Error?

•  Done The sentence was too long and likely a run on sentence. I split it into 2

• Duplink: Southern Integrated Gateway

•  Done

Other utilities

Resolved

Sainsf <^>_{Feel at home} 11:24, 28 March 2016 (UTC)

• Temporary lock-ups or prison cells are available in most police stations in the city. Source?  Done (+source)
• there is a total of 41 secondary schools "are" a total

•  Done

• The other private universities are ...Politeknik Ibrahim Sultan. Source?  Done (+source)

Cultural attractions

Resolved

Sainsf <^>_{Feel at home} 11:25, 28 March 2016 (UTC)

• "venues" can be replaced with "attractions".

•  Done

• became the centre for the collection of artefacts related to Johor's cultural history When?  Done (+date)
• Duplinks: Grand Palace, Foon Yew High School, Chief Minister of Johor

•  Done

Historical attractions

Resolved

Sainsf <^>_{Feel at home} 11:38, 28 March 2016 (UTC)

• Tokoh Museum is another historical colonial building since 1886 which is the first resident for Johor first Menteri Besar Jaafar Mohamed; Meaning?  Done (rewrite)
• also overlooking the straits Meaning?  Done (rewrite)
• British architecture Palmer and Turner, Meaning?  Done (rewrite)
• Wooden Railway No italics

•  Done

• and oldest "the"

•  Done

• Victorian Can Victorian architecture be linked?

•  Done Linked Victorian to Victorian architecture

• Duplinks:Grand Palace, English College, Sultan Ibrahim Building, Sultan Abu Bakar State Mosque, Wong Ah Fook

•  Done

Leisure and conservation areas

Resolved

Sainsf <^>_{Feel at home} 09:30, 28 March 2016 (UTC)

• 25-kilometre area Meaning? Use convert template.

• Added convert template. I not sure if it requires clarification or not. Ssbbplayer (talk) 03:27, 26 March 2016 (UTC)

Other attractions

Resolved

Sainsf <^>_{Feel at home} 09:30, 28 March 2016 (UTC)

• Johor Bahru was proclaimed as a city on 1 January 1994 Don't repeat the date

•  Done I have removed the date so the sentence reads as "Johor Bahru was proclaimed as a city"

• Wong Ah Fook No need to introduce him again

•  Done Chopped this section, removing repetition related to his role in contributing to the infrastructure of city as previously mentioned.

• Tam Hiok Nee Street No italics

•  Done Removed the italics from the name.

• He was one of the city's wealthiest inhabitants, known for his pepper and gambier planting and his ownnership of significant assets within the town area. Unnecessary line

•  Done Deleted this section if it is unnecessary in this article

• Duplinks: Dataran Bandaraya, Wong Ah Fook

•  Done Removed overlinking

Shopping

Resolved

Sainsf <^>_{Feel at home} 09:30, 28 March 2016 (UTC)

• New malls are continuously constructed in the city --> New malls continue to be constructed in the city

•  Done

• Along the Sungai Chat Road located the Mawar Handicrafts Centre, a government-funded exhibition and sales centre sells various batik and songket clothes Meaning?

• What this sentence is trying to say (I presume) is the Mawar Handicrafts Centre, a government-funded exhibition and sales centre is located on the Sungai Chat Road and sells various batik and songket clothes. I changed it for clarification. Let me know if it is still confusing or better. Thanks. Ssbbplayer (talk) 03:18, 26 March 2016 (UTC)

• produced by people who are physically disabled --> made by the physically disabled.

•  Done

Entertainment

Resolved

Sainsf <^>_{Feel at home} 09:29, 28 March 2016 (UTC)

• which mostly screenings screens

•  Done Changed it to which mostly screens

• There is around five new are

•  Done Changed it.

Sports

Resolved

Sainsf <^>_{Feel at home} 09:29, 28 March 2016 (UTC)

• The city main football stadium city's

•  Done Changed it to city's main football stadium

• which has 8 minimum-sized Numbers below 10 are generally kept in words

•  Done Changed sentence to which has eight minimum-sized

Radio stations

Resolved

Sainsf <^>_{Feel at home} 09:29, 28 March 2016 (UTC)

• No source?

 Done I have put the source that claiming the station headquarters is in the city. Glad to help. :) Molecule Extraction (talk) 08:05, 28 March 2016 (UTC)

International relations

Resolved

Sainsf <^>_{Feel at home} 09:28, 28 March 2016 (UTC)

• Can consulate be linked?

•  Done

That should be all. Good luck! Sainsf <^>_{Feel at home} 07:26, 25 March 2016 (UTC)

• I have fixed much of the small details that need to be fixed as mentioned in the GA review. However, the parts that I have not fixed are more difficult to fix since I have no knowledge of the sources or most of the article (except the climate, which I have edited only once). I cannot help on elucidating the meaning of certain sentences that may be confusing. I am hoping that other users could come to help. Thanks. Ssbbplayer (talk) 03:40, 27 March 2016 (UTC)

@Ssbbplayer: Thanks a ton for all that you have voluntarily done here. The article has already improved a lot. I pinged Cerevisae but he/she seems to be busy. We will have to wait for a week from now, if there is no response this nomination will have to be failed. Thanks again! Sainsf <^>_{Feel at home} 04:28, 27 March 2016 (UTC)

Thanks @Ssbbplayer: and @Sainsf:, I will try to solve the remaining issues raised by Sainsf on this Johor Bharu article. But I am currently busy with Sarawak and Bintulu GA nominations. Will try to get these issues done within a week. Cerevisae (talk) 04:37, 27 March 2016 (UTC)

Thanks Cerevisae, we will keep this nomination open till you have responded. Sainsf <^>_{Feel at home} 04:39, 27 March 2016 (UTC)

Update: @Ssbbplayer:, @Cerevisae: A bit busy now, I think I will be able to get to this only by the end of this week. Cheers! Sainsf <^>_{Feel at home} 18:41, 27 March 2016 (UTC)

Update: @Ssbbplayer:, @Cerevisae:, @Molecule Extraction: Found time for this. See what a lot we all have achieved through collaboration! Excellent job! I think most of the remaining issues (marked in bold) are sentences with unclear meanings and unsourced parts. If we can not resolve them, we can remove them from the article for the time being. Sainsf <^>_{Feel at home} 09:42, 28 March 2016 (UTC)

Thanks Sainsf, as well to Ssbbplayer and Cerevisae. I just finishing the bold issues except for the lead part as I don't have skills in making lead paragraph. Perhaps, any other editor can help on that. :) Molecule Extraction (talk) 11:40, 28 March 2016 (UTC)

Thanks for all the necessary fixes Molecule Extraction! I think Cerevisae would be the best at preparing the lead, the last but an important task, as he/she might be more familiar with this. Sainsf <^>_{Feel at home} 11:42, 28 March 2016 (UTC)\

Thanks Sainsf, Molecule Extraction, and Ssbbplayer, I shall finish with the lead part. Cerevisae (talk) 12:41, 28 March 2016 (UTC)

Sainsf, Molecule Extraction, and Ssbbplayer, the lead is now expanded. Cerevisae (talk) 14:38, 29 March 2016 (UTC)

Thank you for finishing the part Cerevisae, now we are going to wait the result from Sainsf. :) Molecule Extraction (talk) 14:54, 29 March 2016 (UTC)

Very well! No copyvio detected, sourcing improved, prose loads better. This article looks ready to be a GA now. Congrats to each of you three, your collaboration made this possible! Sainsf <^>_{Feel at home} 09:41, 31 March 2016 (UTC)

Great! Thanks to all users who involved and thanks to Sainsf for taking time to review this article. Not forget to Chongkian also who contribute with great photo shoots and Muffin Wizard who sacrifice his time to develop this article. :) Molecule Extraction (talk) 10:31, 31 March 2016 (UTC)

@Molecule Extraction: Thanks for letting me know. I must award them the Teamwork Barnstar as well. Sainsf <^>_{Feel at home} 10:34, 31 March 2016 (UTC)

Thanks Sainsf for promoting this article to GA status! Well done to the editors who contributed significantly to the article! Cerevisae (talk) 10:39, 31 March 2016 (UTC)