Talk:Jon Challinor/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Oldelpaso (talk · contribs) 19:33, 20 April 2013 (UTC)

I see no major problems, this is essentially a list of nitpicks.

• There are quite a few instances of the "noun plus -ing" construction. See User:Tony1/Noun plus -ing for a guide to what that is and what can be done about it.
  • Have had a go at brushing up the prose. Mattythewhite (talk) 17:41, 24 April 2013 (UTC)
• Is the rdfc1992 page a mirror of the now-defunct Rushden & Diamonds club website? If so, this should be indicated. If not, is it a reliable source? Similarly, http://www.bfcsa.co.uk/0304/articles/release_040122.htm doesn't look like it was produced by the Barnet FC Supporters' Association.
  • The RDFC1992 homepage states "This site is an archive for content that was published on the Official Rushden & Diamonds Football Club website". The Barnet page states the text is taken from a Nationwide Conference Press Release. Have made note of these in the publisher parameters. Mattythewhite (talk) 17:41, 24 April 2013 (UTC)
• The references to "Grimsby Mad" could do with being replaced by something more reliable.
  • I've use this reference as I couldn't find any other source providing complete statistics (all FA Cup, FA Trophy and Conference League Cup stats) for these seasons. I'll look for an alternative if you feel it needs to be replaced in order to pass the article. Mattythewhite (talk) 17:41, 24 April 2013 (UTC)
• Perhaps mention how many divisions he dropped by moving from Rushden to Stamford?
  • Done. Mattythewhite (talk) 17:41, 24 April 2013 (UTC)
• Specify that Kalamazoo Kingdom are an American team (what a peculiar name, sounds more like a safari park ;-) )
  • Done. Mattythewhite (talk) 17:41, 24 April 2013 (UTC)
• Ultra-picky, this one, but “summer” is dependent on hemisphere, so perhaps specify British summer, or close season.
  • Done. Mattythewhite (talk) 17:41, 24 April 2013 (UTC)
• ”which Aldershot lost 3–0 in a penalty shoot-out after a 1–1 after extra time.” - there's a word missing somewhere here, plus it could do with rewording to avoid repetition of “after”.
  • Done. Mattythewhite (talk) 17:41, 24 April 2013 (UTC)
• The majority of paragraphs start "Challinor...", maybe rejig some of them to prevent repetition. Oldelpaso (talk) 19:33, 20 April 2013 (UTC)
  • Done. Mattythewhite (talk) 17:41, 24 April 2013 (UTC)