Talk:Jon Rose/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Hiya111 (talk · contribs) 14:17, 30 October 2019 (UTC)

I'll be having a read of this today! (talk • contribs) 14:17, 30 October 2019 (UTC)

Sounds great, glad to be working with you!  Spintendo  22:10, 30 October 2019 (UTC)

@Spintendo: Very interesting - his music is quite different to what I'm used to! Here are my initial thoughts on the article.. :)

Lead section

• It's slightly on the short side, but nonetheless provides a sufficient overview - is there something he is best known for, that you could put here? Perhaps his title(s) of work.
• Might be worth mentioning/linking to Extended technique for his non-standard use of the violin. This is his technique for free improvisation.

Y I've added extended technique to the Free improvisation section's hatnote.  Spintendo  08:03, 2 November 2019 (UTC)

• Tony Mitchell is another musician so link to his Wiki page.

Y WL added.  Spintendo  08:03, 2 November 2019 (UTC)

Early career

• Will the title "Early life" or perhaps "Biography" be more appropriate?

Y Changed to Early life.  Spintendo  08:03, 2 November 2019 (UTC)

• I looked at the source [2] and couldn't find that he studied on a scholarship (just says he "studied the violin")

Y Scholarship source added.  Spintendo  08:03, 2 November 2019 (UTC)

• "Rose was active in the UK.." - active doing what? Performing, composing? Might want to expand.

Y Expanded.  Spintendo  08:03, 2 November 2019 (UTC)

• This section is a bit thin - is there a bit more about his early work that could be added?

Improvising musician

• The first paragraph is kind of an intro to the Free improvisation article. Fine - but careful not to diverge too far from the person in question, Jon Rose.
• This section is also a bit thin - is there more info on his improvisation ability/music?

Compositions

• This part is probably best written in prose without bullet points. Bullets are fine for short titles/one line sentences but I don't think it works here.

Y Changed to prose.  Spintendo  08:03, 2 November 2019 (UTC)

• Since his orchestral compositions are in date order, we could do a chronological account of his works in prose (eg. Rose's first composition was [..], a variety of genres [..] Several years later, his next work was different [..] influenced by this technique). You get the idea.
• Same goes for radio compositions. I think it's worth expanding his style, technique, arrangement etc. See John Cage for an example.
• Consider doing a section at the end, listing just the titles and years of the orchestral compositions/radio compositions.

Environmental works

• The list of works are shorter but again, it's better presented in prose without bullet points.
• Some of these works are unusually interesting.. it's possible we can expand and describe their compositions more. What do you think?

Live performances

• "Rose's live performances have included multimedia content, including text.." - What does this mean? "Multimedia" is quite a broad term - might need to narrow it down and include examples used in his performances.
• As before, his multimedia work should be presented in prose.

Instrument builder / Reception / Author / Discography

• This section is fine - could do with a little beefing up
• Images of his instruments might be nice
• More internal Wiki links
• Reception could be renamed "Recognition" and that can includes awards and residencies
• "Author" section should be renamed to "Bibliography" and perhaps mention the book titles earlier in the article?
• Why isn't much of the discography mentioned earlier? I know there's probably not a lot to be said of them but we shouldn't ignore it.

References

• The number of in-line citations were sufficient.
• Some of the references in the list are missing their website titles and retrieval dates. Titles, at least, should be provided.
• I haven't checked each source, but 82 doesn't work and 87 goes to an irrelevant essay.

That's all for a first pass! I hope you find this useful but sorry to say, it looks like a lot more is needed to bring this to GA-level. Glad to hear your thoughts though. Lizzy (talk 22:53, 31 October 2019 (UTC)

Thank you for the input, it's much appreciated! I'll pass these recommendations on to the editor who helped me to craft the article. We'll try again for GA in the future after these changes have been implemented. Please feel free to close the review. Thanks again for your time! Regards,  Spintendo  08:03, 2 November 2019 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.