Wikipedia

Talk:Jonathon Blum

(Redirected from Talk:Jonathan Blum (hockey player))
Latest comment: 9 months ago by AirshipJungleman29 in topic GA Reassessment
Learn more about this page
Former good articleJonathon Blum was one of the Sports and recreation good articles, but it has been removed from the list. There are suggestions below for improving the article to meet the good article criteria. Once these issues have been addressed, the article can be renominated. Editors may also seek a reassessment of the decision if they believe there was a mistake.
Article milestones
DateProcessResult
January 21, 2010Good article nomineeListed
February 3, 2024Good article reassessmentDelisted
Current status: Delisted good article


Draft Distinction

edit
Latest comment: 16 years ago1 comment1 person in discussion

He is not the first player from California to be taken in the first round of the NHL draft. Scott Parker was selected in the 1998 NHL draft in the first round and he is from Hanford. Travismills (talk) 01:15, 13 March 2008 (UTC)Reply

Birthplace

edit
Latest comment: 17 years ago3 comments3 people in discussion

Looks like NHL.com probably has Blum's birthplace wrong. The WHL, Vancouver Giants, the TSN draft broadcast, newspapers [1], USA Hockey [2] all say Santa Margarita. NHL.com's the only source I can find that says Long Beach instead. -→Buchanan-Hermit™/?! 04:09, 23 June 2007 (UTC)Reply

I think Rancho Santa Margarita is his hometown. I notice that the WHL site says hometown, it doesn't say anything about him born there. I don't know what the other sites say, but I know that some sites will list the players' hometown as their birthplace if they don't know where that player was born. Canuck85 04:25, 23 June 2007 (UTC)Reply

I know the kid lives in southern OC, not Long Beach. I played with him recently at the Aliso Viejo Ice Palace which is about 10 minutes from rancho santa margarita. I wouldn't be surprised if his birthplace is Long Beach, though the new article on nhl.com says things like "growing up on the streets of Long Beach." Then again, you can't believe everything you read. Maybe his family moved to southern OC or that's where he grew up. Either way, it's safe to say that's where he is right now. JHMM13(Disc) 20:31, 14 July 2007 (UTC)Reply

GA Review

edit
Latest comment: 9 years ago6 comments3 people in discussion
This review is transcluded from Talk:Jonathon Blum/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: -- BigDom 17:32, 20 January 2010 (UTC)Reply

Comments

edit
Lead
  • The prose is fine, but the lead should summarise the whole article and it contains nothing from the "Early life" or "International play" sections
  • "During his major junior career in the Western Hockey League (WHL) Blum won a President's Cup as WHL champions in 2006 and a Memorial Cup in 2007 with the Vancouver Giants." --> "During his major junior career in the Western Hockey League (WHL) with the Vancouver Giants, Blum won a President's Cup as WHL champions in 2006 and a Memorial Cup in 2007."
Early life
  • "a couple years" --> "a couple of years"
  • "NHLer" isn't a word, maybe something like "NHL player" would be better
  • I don't think it's necessary to go into such detail about his mother's cancer. Just saying that she had cancer, was treated and then recovered in May 2006 is enough.
Playing career
  • The first paragraph could do with a couple more references, such as citing the sentence about the plus-minus award.
  • "plus/minus" --> "plus-minus"
  • In the second paragraph, the part about him finishing second among league defensemen should be cited since it's a pretty strong claim.
  • In the next sentence "would also set" --> "also set". This could do with a reference as well.
  • Why are there three very short paragraphs at the end of this section. Can they not be merged together?
International play
  • "but failed to medal once more" --> "but once again failed to win a medal"
Career statistics
  • This section looks OK
Awards
  • The awards without cites need references.
Records
  • Same as the awards, they need refs

A pretty well-written article overall, once the few comments are addressed I'd be happy to pass this. Message me if you have any questions about the review. Thanks, -- BigDom 18:07, 20 January 2010 (UTC)Reply

Reply

edit

First of all, thanks for taking the time to review. I addressed all the above issues as best I could. I think they're all properly taken care of, but I was unsure what from the "Early life" section I should include in the lead. I simply mentioned his birth place and where he was raised. Let me know if there's anything else I need to take care of. Thanks again! Orlandkurtenbach (talk) 07:23, 21 January 2010 (UTC)Reply

Article looks fine now those comments have been dealt with. Just done a couple of minor fixes myself but I'll gladly pass this now. -- BigDom 17:28, 21 January 2010 (UTC)Reply

You should mention his early childhood as playing street hockey with the neighbors. Played every week and loved it! Miss you Ashley!!! — Preceding unsigned comment added by 98.189.161.8 (talk) 23:00, 9 June 2015 (UTC)Reply

Criteria check

edit

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

  1. Is it reasonably well written?
    A. Prose quality:  
    B. MoS compliance:  
  2. Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
    A. References to sources:  
    B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:  
    C. No original research:  
  3. Is it broad in its coverage?
    A. Major aspects:  
    B. Focused:  
  4. Is it neutral?
    Fair representation without bias:  
  5. Is it stable?
    No edit wars, etc:  
  6. Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
    A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:  
    B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:  
  7. Overall:
    Pass or Fail:  


Awesome! Thanks. Orlandkurtenbach (talk) 01:03, 22 January 2010 (UTC)Reply

edit
Latest comment: 7 years ago1 comment1 person in discussion

Hello fellow Wikipedians,

I have just modified 6 external links on Jonathon Blum. Please take a moment to review my edit. If you have any questions, or need the bot to ignore the links, or the page altogether, please visit this simple FaQ for additional information. I made the following changes:

When you have finished reviewing my changes, you may follow the instructions on the template below to fix any issues with the URLs.

This message was posted before February 2018. After February 2018, "External links modified" talk page sections are no longer generated or monitored by InternetArchiveBot. No special action is required regarding these talk page notices, other than regular verification using the archive tool instructions below. Editors have permission to delete these "External links modified" talk page sections if they want to de-clutter talk pages, but see the RfC before doing mass systematic removals. This message is updated dynamically through the template {{source check}} (last update: 5 June 2024).

  • If you have discovered URLs which were erroneously considered dead by the bot, you can report them with this tool.
  • If you found an error with any archives or the URLs themselves, you can fix them with this tool.

Cheers.—InternetArchiveBot (Report bug) 00:14, 27 April 2017 (UTC)Reply

edit
Latest comment: 6 years ago1 comment1 person in discussion

Hello fellow Wikipedians,

I have just modified 10 external links on Jonathon Blum. Please take a moment to review my edit. If you have any questions, or need the bot to ignore the links, or the page altogether, please visit this simple FaQ for additional information. I made the following changes:

When you have finished reviewing my changes, you may follow the instructions on the template below to fix any issues with the URLs.

This message was posted before February 2018. After February 2018, "External links modified" talk page sections are no longer generated or monitored by InternetArchiveBot. No special action is required regarding these talk page notices, other than regular verification using the archive tool instructions below. Editors have permission to delete these "External links modified" talk page sections if they want to de-clutter talk pages, but see the RfC before doing mass systematic removals. This message is updated dynamically through the template {{source check}} (last update: 5 June 2024).

  • If you have discovered URLs which were erroneously considered dead by the bot, you can report them with this tool.
  • If you found an error with any archives or the URLs themselves, you can fix them with this tool.

Cheers.—InternetArchiveBot (Report bug) 00:47, 30 November 2017 (UTC)Reply

GA Reassessment

edit
Latest comment: 9 months ago2 comments2 people in discussion

Jonathon Blum

edit

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch • Watch article reassessment page • Most recent review
Result: Delisted. ~~ AirshipJungleman29 (talk) 20:46, 3 February 2024 (UTC)Reply

Article is slanted towards pre-2012 career. Later career needs to be expanded in order to comprehensively cover this topic. Z1720 (talk) 20:00, 25 January 2024 (UTC)Reply

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
Add topic
Retrieved from "https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Talk:Jonathon_Blum&oldid=1202921365"