Talk:Judy Seigel

Women in Green 20-Minute Article Assessments

I'll have a look at this as per the request at Wikipedia:WikiProject Women in Green/20-Minute Article Assessments. Let me know if you have any questions, Grand'mere Eugene. Regards, BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 19:41, 5 October 2024 (UTC)

• Copyvio check. Nothing too bad in the few highest matches found using Earwig's Copyvio Detector, but the quote about the female professor's objection to Goya's Naked Maja feels a bit too long and probably could be partly summarised/paraphrased.
• Images - I'm not sure there is adequate justification for more than one "fair use" image; we'll see what the GA reviewer thinks.
• I haven't done any spot checks against sources for this review; obviously a GA reviewer would be expected to do that.

Early life and education

• "BFA" - I think "Bachelor of Fine Arts" would be better here, and you could wikilink to that article.

Career

• "Cooper Union reported..." - this is not controversial, so I don't think an inline attribution is needed. It would be better to rework this rather than use the full direct quote.

Photography

• "a legend in the elucidation of the alternative process arts", and "a leading expert in the field" - I think these quote should be attributed inline. (eg. "X called her...")

Writing, editing and publishing

• See MOS:SECTIONORDER for where Works or publications should be listed in the article.
• "Gwen Allen quoted Cynthia Navaretta" - it would be helpful to briefly introduce them, e.g. "the arts critic Cynthia Navaretta"
• "One reviewer wrote" - might as well name the reviewer and the source here. (Same for "Another said..")
• Reviews - consider removing the subheading and just making this a continuation of the prose. The Morgan quote feels a bit long to me. Have a look at MOS:QUOTE and WP:NPS and see what you think.

Activism

• As per points above, slightly too reliant on fairly lengthy quotes.
• I suggest not bulleting the text. See MOS:USEPROSE.
• "In 2004"/"In 2009" - I suggest varying the start of these.

Lead

• Very short paragraphs. Can some be combined?
• Can the lead be expanded a little, e.g. to add in some key points from the Career and Photography sections?
• "Called a legend in alternative photographic processes," - given the type of claim, we should say who this is attributed to.
• "She published two books" - add years in parentheses after the books, e.g. 2Sight Lines (1998)"
• Her date of death is not included in the main part of the article and doesn't seem to have a citation.

Many thanks for your work on the article, Grand'mere Eugene. I think this is close to being ready to be nominated as a GA. I made a few minor tweaks relating to formatting etc; please review those and check that you're happy with them. This isn't a full review so I expect a reviewer would identify improvements that can be made as part of that process. Please let me know if you have any questions. Regards, BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 10:39, 7 October 2024 (UTC)

BennyOnTheLoose, thank you very much for taking the time to offer comments. I've revised the article to reduce the amount of direct quoting, and rearranged the publications sections. I look forward to taking the article forward to GA nomination. Your comments are very helpful! — Grand'mere Eugene (talk) 01:47, 8 October 2024 (UTC)