Talk:June 2020 Pennsylvania–New Jersey derecho/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Mike Christie (talk · contribs) 21:58, 17 August 2022 (UTC)

I'll review this. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 21:58, 17 August 2022 (UTC)

Sources are reliable.

• For the images, appropriate licenses are asserted for all but one component of the radar image. For "Radar imagery from the NWS NEXRAD radar data database" how do we know what license that imagery is available under?
• Can we put a few words of explanation of both "derecho" and "mesoscale convective system" in the lead? Aside from anything else, we have "derecho" three times in the first two sentences. I think this is one of those cases where MOS:FIRST would say not to use the exact article title in bold. Perhaps "On the morning and early afternoon of June 3, 2020, a powerful derecho (a line of windstorms moving together) crossed Pennsylvania and New Jersey, causing four confirmed fatalities. It was the deadliest derecho in the region since 1950. / The storms were part of a mesoscale convective systems (a complex of associated thunderstoms) which formed just outside Oil City..."?

  Not the nominee, but  Done anyways. --47.16.96.33 (talk) 19:49, 8 September 2022 (UTC)

• Similarly "bow echo" is a bit too specialized to use without some inline explanation. Perhaps "Derecho storms are also known for the characteristic bow-like shape of their radar profile"?

   Done --47.16.96.33 (talk) 19:49, 8 September 2022 (UTC)

  Looks like this is unchanged? Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 21:47, 8 September 2022 (UTC)

  Oh, I must’ve forgotten. I’ll get to that then 74.101.118.197 (talk) 21:49, 8 September 2022 (UTC)

• And again for "microburst". I see it redirects to "downburst"; should we use that term instead? How about "In Carlisle, Pennsylvania, which had avoided damage from the initial derecho, a microburst (a sudden strong, spreading downdraft) later in the evening caused extensive damage to trees and power lines"?

   Done --47.16.96.33 (talk) 19:49, 8 September 2022 (UTC)

• "The additional storms caused more delays, as the maintenance crew from Eldorado, Illinois, drove through torrential rainfall between Columbus, Ohio, and Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, on its way to Upper Merion Township." This seems an odd thing to say -- we are talking about a single crew's delay arriving as the cause of the overall delay to the repairs?

  Removed. Couldn't find a reason to keep it. --47.16.96.33 (talk) 19:49, 8 September 2022 (UTC)

• We don't need the June 2012 link in the "See also" section; it's already linked in the article. To be honest I think you really only need the list article linked; the other two seem a bit random and can be accessed via the list article.

   Done --47.16.96.33 (talk) 19:49, 8 September 2022 (UTC)

-- Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 22:30, 17 August 2022 (UTC)

Thanks for taking this on. A couple of points left above. Pinging the nominator, GhostRiver, who I know has been busy, in case they want to comment too.

Earwig finds no issues. Spotchecks:

• FN 5 cites "By 10:34 a.m. EDT, the squall line was moving into southeastern Pennsylvania, where the warm, humid temperatures would further destabilize the system". Verified.
• FN 23 cites "The fourth fatality occurred in Delaware County, where derecho winds topped live overhead power lines into a home, causing the building to catch fire. A second individual inside the house escaped": the source has "a man died after strong, straight-line winds knocked live power lines onto a home, causing the home to catch fire. A second man was able to escape the home". I think this is just about OK; these factoids are hard to paraphrase.

-- Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 21:47, 8 September 2022 (UTC)

Last fix made; pass. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 22:07, 8 September 2022 (UTC)