Talk:Just a Fool/GA1

Latest comment: 11 years ago by WonderBoy1998 in topic GA Review

GA Review

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The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.


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Reviewer: WonderBoy1998 (talk · contribs) 13:22, 31 July 2013 (UTC)Reply

Hi! I'll be conducting the review for this song. I usually go about doing it section by section gradually, so you'll get time to correct it as I conduct the review. Hopefully it won't take long! --WonderBoy1998 (talk) 13:22, 31 July 2013 (UTC)Reply

Files

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  • No cover for the single? Aren't singles supposed to have graphic covers?
Ok, but I went through the article's talk page and I found that Status has mentioned a link to the official cover art. Although it's very small, I managed to somehow find a larger version. Do you think this is the cover art? --WonderBoy1998 (talk) 14:30, 1 August 2013 (UTC)Reply
That is a fan-made creation. See the original file from AllAccess, it says "with Blake Shelton" not "feat". — Status (talk · contribs) 15:44, 1 August 2013 (UTC)Reply
Oohlright. So I guess there is no usable cover for this one. Okay! --WonderBoy1998 (talk) 15:46, 1 August 2013 (UTC)Reply

Lead

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  • "duo's sound"- Not sure about the word "sound". How about words like "vocals"?
  •   Done I've fixed it to "the track's sound"
  • "Commercially, the single was a commercial failure, attained moderate chart success worldwide"- Sentence doesn't seem right. It would be better off as "The single attained moderate chart success worldwide and was deemed a commercial failure." Also attaining moderate success worldwide doesn't mean the single failed commercially.
  •   Done I've fixed it to "Commercially, the single failed to gain impact on charts. It peaked at number 71..."

Background, release

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  • " failed to generate sales"- Obviously it did sell something. How about "which was a commercial failure"
  •   Done I've fixed it to "which failed to generate impact on charts"
  • "featured film" or "feature film"?
I've seen feature film being used generally. --WonderBoy1998 (talk) 14:30, 1 August 2013 (UTC)Reply
OK then
  • "Recorded at Northern Sky Music by Sam Miller, "Just a Fool" was written by Steve Robson, Claude Kelly and Wayne Hector, with production handled by Steve Robson.[7] Aguilera's vocals were recorded at The Red Lip's Room in Beverly Hills, California, while Shelton's vocals were recorded at Luminous Sound in Dallas, Texas.[7] The duo's vocals were recorded by Oscar Ramirez, and Aguilera produced them with Kelly.[7] Robson also carried out programming and keyboards, arranging, and guitars.[7]"- to avoid sole usage of a primary source here, I suggest including this http://www.discogs.com/Christina-Aguilera-Lotus/release/4020732 as a reference too. Let the inlay cover one remain, but you can add this too. In fact, you can add this reference as a companion to all [7] number refs that appear in the article (like the one in "Composition").
  • Discogs is not reliable
I'm not so sure about that.
  • "Following the release of Lotus, "Just a Fool" entered the Billboard Hot 100 chart, leading RCA Records to release the song as a single." → "Following the release of Lotus, "Just a Fool" managed to debut upon the Billboard Hot 100 chart, prompting RCA Records to release the song as a single."
  •   Done

Development

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  • " both are " → "both served as"
  •   Done

Composition

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  • " The track was also Aguilera's first country song.[18]" - Repeated in previous section. Choose one place.
  •   Done
  • "sitting alone in a bar late at night, "Another shot of whisky please bartender, keep it coming till I don't remember", while Blake sings the second in his raspy country tones and the two unite for the chorus."- Many parts copied from source. Juggle it up.
  •   Done
  • "At the chorus, the duo sing, "Who am I kidding? I know what I'm missing/ I had my heart set on you/ But nothing else hurts like you/ Who knew that love was so cruel/ I waited and waited so long/ For someone to never come home/ It's my fault to think you'd be true/ I'm just a fool"" - Is this really necessary? I think the lyrics are taken too much here, remember that even lyrics are copyrighted material and overuse is not good.
  •   Done
  • "Jim Farber of New York Daily News was mixed"- "gave a mixed review" would be better; this sounds like he was put up in a blender. (Kidding)
  •   Done Lol
  • Good coverage in this section!

Chart perf.

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  • "Commercially, "Just a Fool" was a commercial failure;"- "commercial" repeated two times. You can remove the second "commercial".
  •   Done

Live

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  • "is a coach"- "served as a coach"
  •   Done
  • "At the end, the duo ended their singing with a hug"- You should remove "At the end,".
  •   Done
  • What's with the "[]"?
  •   Done
  • "which boosted the song's performance on iTunes."- Source doesn't mention this.
  •   Done
  • "he had a "smart move""- How do you "have" a "smart move"?
The source says that it was a "smart move" by Shelton not to participate without upstaging Christina. You need to interpret and form it in the sentence in that way, he "had a smart move" is inaccurate. --WonderBoy1998 (talk) 12:28, 2 August 2013 (UTC)Reply
  • Another thing- "Wearing "sharp in dark", "semi-casual" outfits,[8] Caila Ball from Idolator wrote"- you need to rework this sentence as it makes it look as if Caila Ball was wearing the outfits and not Shelton and XTina.
  •   Done all

Link/refs

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  • No such problems.

Status

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Passing the article now! Great job! --WonderBoy1998 (talk) 15:33, 2 August 2013 (UTC)Reply
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.