Talk:Kōhei Yamamoto (actor)
Latest comment: 5 years ago by Jkgree in topic Some suggestions
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Some suggestions
editThere are a couple of phrasings that aren't clear or don't work well in English. I'm not at all familiar with the actor, but may I suggest someone that knows more look at:
- At the edge - This doesn't make sense. Was "At the age" intended? How about replacing with "While co-starring in..."? And is this information, at least about the friendships, even necessary?
- he was served with Shuhei Izumi - This also is not phrased correctly. Is this supposed to be something like: "he appeared with"?
- He and Izumi, had a private friendship and spent together from New Year's Eve of 2008 until New Year's Day of 2009. - Not clear. Is this referring to a sexual partnership? At first I thought that this was a one year period, but on closer reading, it sounds as though maybe this was a 1-2 day period?? This should be made clear... OR, maybe it's not necessary at all?!
- Yamamoto married... - It should say who he married. And for dates, it should say "on", not "in" (for example: on July 21). Jkgree (talk) 15:07, 8 March 2019 (UTC)