Talk:Katherine Deves/GA1
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Reviewer: Teratix (talk · contribs) 07:44, 7 February 2024 (UTC)
I'll have a look at this one. – Teratix ₵ 07:44, 7 February 2024 (UTC)
Unfortunately I'm failing this article because it falls too far short of several GA criteria. Most serious are the inconsistent use of high-quality reliable sources (2b) and the occasions where text did not match the cited source resulting in significant changes in meaning. The prose is unclear (1a), often assuming the reader knows about things that have not been or are never introduced, and lacking a consistent chronology. The layout (1b) needs improvement, with the distinction between the "Politics" and "Political views" sections left unclear, and a number of one-sentence paragraphs persisting. I do not believe these issues can realistically be overcome without rewriting substantial portions of the article.
I acknowledge some of the issues I note were introduced after you nominated the article, by other editors. However, most were already present in the nominated version. I've left some more detailed comments so you can see where the article needs improvement. – Teratix ₵ 11:24, 7 February 2024 (UTC)
- GAs need to cite high-quality reliable sources, doubly so if the subject is a BLP, and triply so if the subject is contentious. As such, we really shouldn't be using sites like Pedestrian and InStyle as sources, nor should we be citing tweets, especially since-deleted tweets.
- A three-sentence lead is a bit short, see if you can expand it.
Deves was nominated as a "captain's pick" by Prime Minister Scott Morrison
but the body says Morrison was one member on a three-person preselection committeehas been described as an anti-trans activist and a TERF, or a trans-exclusionary radical feminist
by who? the TERF characterisation is not followed up on in the article body either- Several sources comment on the difficulty of finding information about Deves's activity before late 2020 – I did a reasonably thorough search and could only find a couple of Deves's comments – and this should be mentioned in the article so readers understand why there's a paucity of pre-2020 information.
Between 2020 and 2022,
two years is a bit of a vague timespan- It is very difficult to understand the chronology in the 2022 election section, basic temporal references like the dates of the election and Deves's pre-selection go unmentioned, and some parts appear to be out of order.
Infighting between the Liberal Party's moderate and conservative factions
to just start talking about this without contextualising how it relates to Deves is really confusingBoth men were described as not "the kind of candidate we really needed here"
by who?Despite the fact that she had been disallowed
you haven't mentioned Deves at this pointshe had not been a member of the party for long enough
you haven't mentioned when she joinedgained traction as a "circuit breaker" candidate
"circuit-breaker" is in quotes but not attributed to anyoneAccording to a senior Warringah Liberal Member
capital-M Member status doesn't match sourceshe looks like a movie star
present tense doesn't make sense hereformer president of the New South Wales Liberals Christine McDiven, Morrison
you haven't mentioned Morrison in the article body yetIt is unclear whether the committee knew of Deves' anti-transgender views
doesn't match source, which specifies it was unclear whether the committee knew the extent of these viewsand hurried manner in which she was preselected, with minimal vetting
"hurried" and "minimal" are opinionated terms which should not be in wikivoice and the grammar of the overall sentence doesn't make sense. The article also doesn't actually give the timeframe in question so readers have no way to judge for themselves.In April 2022, a repository of Deves' deleted tweets was uploaded to Github
needs a non-primary sourcegender reassignment surgery was available to teenagers
needs to be qualified with "in Australia", in some countries this claim would be true.reported death threats made against her to the police, but New South Wales Police stated they had not received a report
in the source, Deves specifically mentions the federal police.On 22 April 2022, Deves held a campaign event in a Sydney pub, where media were informed that they were banned from entering
I'm confused why this one sentence is split into its own paragraph(a seat that is entirely within Liberal-held state electoral districts)
not in cited source and of dubious relevance – state politics is not federal politics.she objected to criticism that she was homophobic
criticism for homophobia was not mentioned at all in the preceding paragraphsobjected to her comments
which commentsIn tweets since deleted, she encouraged her followers to visit the site stating that it was a "valuable" source of information.
needs non-primary reliable sources, especially on a BLP!- I'm not convinced such extensive discussion of Giggle's legal situation is warranted in an article about Deves.
- I'm confused about the difference between the "politics" and "political views" sections, since the "politics" section ends up spending a lot of time talking about Deves' political views.
The Australian Monarchist League received controversy when it announced Deves would be speaking
why? from who?"draconian" COVID-19 policies implemented by the New South Wales Liberal Party, and called for the Prime Minister to "sort out the vaccine rollout"
this is inaccurate – parties don't implement policies, governments do. The wording is also too close to the original source.She is a climate denier, stating on Twitter she believed climate change was a scam
totally unacceptable to add contentious labels to a BLP based on an interpretation of a primary source.Deves lives in Manly Vale with her partner
not necessary to name low-profile living people here.In July 2022, she was injured after skiing at Thredbo, missing a Liberal party meeting
why is this out of chronological order?In March 2022, Deves claimed she was a Level 2 wine sommelier
unless you can find a source that isn't a deleted tweet I question whether this is worth mentioningDeves is an active contributor to Sky News Australia and The Spectator.
another one-sentence paragraph, and the cited sources only show she's contributed at times in the past.