Talk:Kevin Nolan/GA1
Latest comment: 14 years ago by BigDom in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Reviewer: BigDom 07:36, 10 April 2010 (UTC)
Comments
edit- Lead
- "sixteen" --> "16" and "eighteenth" --> "18th" (MOS:NUM)
- Done. Frankly, MOSNUM seems a little confused to me now: "numbers greater than nine are commonly rendered in numerals, or in words if they are expressed in one or two words" ...um what? Does that mean that they should be, or they can be? – Toon 12:51, 10 April 2010 (UTC)
- I think it used to say that they should be, looks as though someone's changed it. BigDom 08:36, 11 April 2010 (UTC)
- Done. Frankly, MOSNUM seems a little confused to me now: "numbers greater than nine are commonly rendered in numerals, or in words if they are expressed in one or two words" ...um what? Does that mean that they should be, or they can be? – Toon 12:51, 10 April 2010 (UTC)
- "Preston" --> "Preston North End" and link it
- Done – Toon 12:51, 10 April 2010 (UTC)
- "were widely praised, however, as" --> "were widely praised as" – no need to say however because it doesn't say earlier that his performances were criticised the previous season
- Done - it was referring to the fans' criticism mentioned earlier, but that was all the way at the start of the para, so I see your point.– Toon 12:51, 10 April 2010 (UTC)
- Early years
- "fourteen" --> "14"
- Done – Toon 12:51, 10 April 2010 (UTC)
- Career
- More numbers written as words that need to be written as numbers e.g. "sixteen" and "twelve". All double-figure or higher numbers need to be written as figures.
- I think I caught them all. – Toon 12:51, 10 April 2010 (UTC)
- "He was asked to come to a" --> "Nolan was invited to a" – new paragraphs should use the subject's name on first mention, and "invited" is more concise than "asked to come"
- Done – Toon 12:51, 10 April 2010 (UTC)
- "In his first season in the Premiership (2001–02)" --> "In the 2001–02 season, his first in the Premiership"
- Done – Toon 12:51, 10 April 2010 (UTC)
- "part of the team that was defeated 2–1 by Middlesbrough" – I think you need to mention that this was the Final of the competition
- "UEFA cup" --> "UEFA Cup"
- Done I've switched the sentence around to clarify. – Toon 12:51, 10 April 2010 (UTC)
- Reference 20 needs to be after the comma
- Done – Toon 12:51, 10 April 2010 (UTC)
- "Nolan would be one of" --> "Nolan was one of"
- Done – Toon 12:51, 10 April 2010 (UTC)
- General points
- The dates throughout the body of the article are in a British format, but the DOB in the infobox isn't
- Done – Toon 12:51, 10 April 2010 (UTC)
- Since both sections are very short, I suggest merging the Early years and Personal life sections into one section called Biography or something similar
- Done – Toon 12:51, 10 April 2010 (UTC)
- Is there a source for the full name in the infobox? If so, add it and change "Kevin Nolan" to "Kevin Anthony Jance Nolan" in the lead. Otherwise, we can't keep unsourced information in a BLP article
- Done I looked for a source for his name a few days ago with no luck. I removed it from the lead but missed the infobox, apparently. – Toon 12:51, 10 April 2010 (UTC)
- Reference 32 is just a bare URL and needs formatting properly
- Done – Toon 12:51, 10 April 2010 (UTC)
That's my lot. I'll put the article on hold for a week so that you can deal with the issues above. Cheers, BigDom 07:36, 10 April 2010 (UTC)
- Thanks for taking the time to review it, Dom. I think I've taken care of all your concerns. – Toon 12:51, 10 April 2010 (UTC)
- All comments have been addressed and the article now meets the GA criteria so I pass this with congratulations. BigDom 08:36, 11 April 2010 (UTC)