Talk:Khaya Majola (cricketer)

Latest comment: 4 years ago by Dalliance in topic Howa Bowl

Pair of eyes request

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@Gog the Mild: I wonder if you would be so kind as to have a look over this before I move it into mainspace? I wouldn't normally be so cautious, but I've very wary of the subject matter, and that it is easy to go badly wrong with it. I'm not after a detailed copy-edit at this stage, as I still have polishing work to do on it, and some searching around for additional content (especially in the post-apartheid section). I am most after input on the overall balance, how I have dealt with the apartheid issues, and the section headings, which I'm not keen on. I know this isn't really your normal area of expertise, but your input is always very balanced and well reasoned. Any help appreciated. Harrias talk 15:13, 30 December 2019 (UTC)Reply

Flattery will get you everywhere. I have bravely resisted a strong urge to copy edit  . (Your meaning is always clear, but as you comment, it could do with some "polishing".)
  1. The lead could mention when apartheid/the boycott ended.
  2. "Before he left for England, Majola made two appearances in what became known as the Howa Bowl" Some information on the racial make-up of these teams would be helpful.
  3. "often were not served drinks at the cricket clubs the matches were played at" For legal reasons, club rules, or a discretionary decision by club stewards on the day? An idea of what proportion of clubs did serve black players would be helpful, if available.
  4. "the South African government was forced to unban the African National Congress (ANC)" A bit of background, if only in footnotes, as to what "forced" the government, and what the ANC was/is may be appropriate.
  5. "As part of the ANC's efforts to unify South Africa" Why and how is the ANC doing this? Yes, I know, but a reader may not.
  6. Suggestion: give some figures for non-white participation in SA cricket when Majola died and today - ideally both across the country and in terms of the national team.
Off the top of my head, re section titles, don't try to cram so much in. Maybe:
  • Playing career
  • International matches
  • Domestic career
  • Sport activist
or some such?
The overall balance and presentation seems fine and neutral. As you can probably tell by the fact that I have only come up with nit picks above. A nice article which seems most of the way there. I hope that this helps. Gog the Mild (talk) 16:03, 30 December 2019 (UTC)Reply

Howa Bowl

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The Howa Bowl article states that it was a competition limited to non-white players. If this is correct, can it be described as a 'non-racial tournament' in the introduction here? Dalliance (talk) 13:31, 23 January 2020 (UTC)Reply