Talk:Khwaja Usman

Khwaja Usman was nominated as a History good article, but it did not meet the good article criteria at the time (April 10, 2020). There are suggestions on the review page for improving the article. If you can improve it, please do; it may then be renominated.

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Military history: Biography / Asian / Indian / South Asia / Early Modern

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This article has been checked against the following criteria for B-class status:
Referencing and citation: criterion met Coverage and accuracy: criterion met Structure: criterion met Grammar and style: criterion met Supporting materials: criterion not met

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	Asian military history task force
	Indian military history task force
	South Asian military history task force
	Early Modern warfare task force (c. 1500 – c. 1800)

Biography

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GA Review

Latest comment: 4 years ago3 comments2 people in discussion

This review is transcluded from Talk:Khwaja Usman/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Cerebellum (talk · contribs) 01:32, 9 April 2020 (UTC)Reply

I enjoyed this article, thank you for your work on it! Most Mughal history I've seen is from the Mughal point of view, cool to read about someone who resisted them. Unfortunately it doesn't meet the GA criteria at this time. I'll explain why in the comments below, but I'm going to fail the article as there is quite a bit of work to do.

Comments

References: The biggest problem is the references (GA Criterion #2). Most of the books listed do not have page numbers, so the only way a reader can verify the information is by reading the whole book. Please add page numbers.
Images: GA criterion #6, there are no images. I understand there may not be a free image of Usman himself available, but a map of the Bengal region would have helped me follow the narrative more easily. You could also add an image of one of the other figures in the article, such as Jahangir.
Prose: GA criterion #1, the prose needs review. You may want to get someone from the Guild of Copy Editors to take a look for you, but some of the phrasing does not read smoothly in English, such as Anwar Khan of Baniachong had successively surrendered to the Mughals. In the Legacy section there's also part of a sentence that appears to be missing, The proposal for this upazila.
Those are my biggest concerns, here are few additional comments:
Early life: Who was Nasir Khan? The section doesn't explain.
Arrival in Bengal: The text says that Khwaja Sulayman was killed by Singh, and then later that Usman and his four brothers migrated to Bengal. But if Sulayman was dead weren't there only three brothers left?
Final battle and death: Please explain what tup-o-tufang artillery is.
Legacy: The lead says that Usman is the most romantic figure in the history of Bengal, but the rest of the article does not elaborate on this or explain why. The legacy section would be a good place to say exactly who considers him the most romantic figure and why.

That's all I've got, I encourage you to re-nominate the article once these issues are fixed! Typically I would place the article on hold to give you time to work on it, but I think it's going to take more than a week to add all the page numbers. Let me know if I'm wrong and I'll reconsider. --Cerebellum (talk) 04:55, 10 April 2020 (UTC)Reply

@Cerebellum:, thank you for the detailed constructive criticism. I will continue to work on improving the page and let you know if I am ready to re-nominate it! UserNumber (talk) 15:20, 11 April 2020 (UTC)Reply

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