Talk:King-Size Homer/GA1

GA Review

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Well done so far. Here are some comments/suggestions for improving the article:

• and is awarded with liposuction from his boss Mr. Burns - maybe "rewarded"
• storms off in a huff - common expression but not really encyclopedic
• I guess using "behind" is just being polite, but it could well fall under WP:EUPHEMISM.
• that this episode "saved" him from that - "from doing so"
• A tuxedo-ed pig appears next to him - I like the word "tuxedo-ed" but it's kind of awkward. Is "a pig wearing a tuxedo" okay?
• he passed away nine years before was made - "passed away" is definitely a euphemism so use just "died"; "the episode" or another phrase seems to be missing
• the legend on Newman's Own popcorn products - "on" seems like the wrong choice of word. Maybe "of", or could you think of another?
• starring the American actor Pauly Shore and the American actress Faye Dunaway - don't need "the"s
• Despite the numerous laughs at Homer's appearance in the DVD audio commentary - not quite sure what this means. Who's doing the laughing? Is it related to the book review?
• plus points of the episode - can "plus points" be reworded, maybe to "positive points" or "highlights"?

I'll put the article on hold, so you'll have the next week to make changes. Good luck :) —97198 (talk) 08:38, 21 December 2008 (UTC)

All done! Thanks for the review! :) TheLeftorium 09:58, 21 December 2008 (UTC)

Everything looks good. Well done, I'll promote the article. —97198 (talk) 05:18, 22 December 2008 (UTC)