Talk:Last Day in Florida/GA1
Latest comment: 12 years ago by Gen. Quon in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Reviewer: Gen. Quon (talk · contribs) 04:05, 17 March 2012 (UTC)
Issues:
- Intro: "Robert California (James Spader) reveals he hates Nellie's business plan, Jim (John Krasinski) swings into action to keep Dwight (Rainn Wilson) from getting fired." I would put an 'and' between 'plan' and 'Jim'
- Intro: Mentioned the cookies plot
- Plot: I think 'reverted' would fit better than 'returned' when talking about Stanley, but that's really just me
- Watch contractins, like 'won't' and 'hasn't'
- Production: You use the term 'the episode also marks the..." about three times. Cut this down and change up the wording so the prose doesn't get repetitive
- References: Ref 5 needs writer and director info; Ref 16 needs publisher date
That's really all. Fix these up an I will pass the article. On hold for seven days.--Gen. Quon (talk) 16:41, 17 March 2012 (UTC)
- Everything has been fixed! I pass.--Gen. Quon (talk) 01:33, 18 March 2012 (UTC)