Talk:Leigh Woods National Nature Reserve/GA1
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Reviewer: Sturmvogel 66 (talk · contribs) 22:01, 11 September 2015 (UTC)
I'll get to this shortly.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 22:01, 11 September 2015 (UTC)
- No DABs, one dead external link.
- Deadlink removed. Info covered by another ref.— Rod talk 16:23, 17 September 2015 (UTC)
- Images appropriately licensed.
- 2 square kilometres This is a compound adjective and needs to be hyphenated by adding "|adj=on" to the conversion template.
- Added.— Rod talk 16:23, 17 September 2015 (UTC)
- Needs a map showing the reader where it is in the UK
- Map added (I used Somerset but Bristol might be more appropriate).— Rod talk 16:23, 17 September 2015 (UTC)
- Stokeleigh Camp, a hillfort thought to have been occupied from the third century BC to the first century AD and possibly also in the Middle Ages, lies on the edge of the Nightingale Valley. How does this relate to the Nature Reserve?
- Explained it is within the nature reserve.— Rod talk 16:23, 17 September 2015 (UTC)
- Quarries for limestone and celestine which were worked in the 18th and 19th centuries are now derelict. Presumably, these are also in the Nature Reserve, but nothing here tells the reader as much.
- Explained it is within the nature reserve.— Rod talk 16:23, 17 September 2015 (UTC)
- In 1909 part of the woodland was donated to the National Trust by George Alfred Wills, to prevent development of the city beside the gorge following the building of the Leigh Woods suburb. This is awkward, might need a comma or two to organize it into clauses or maybe even split in half. Not all that clear to begin with. I gather that Wills donate his land to prevent the expansion of the city and its suburbs into and beside the Avon Gorge, correct? Then rephrase this whole bit.
- Yes - reworded (and split into two sentences).— Rod talk 16:23, 17 September 2015 (UTC)
- Link Sorbus as I have no idea of what kind of tree it is.
- Wikilinked to Sorbus
- I'd reorganize the lede into two paras. First covers where it is and what kind of locations it contains. 2nd gives history and current status as SSSI, etc.
- I've attempted to reorganise it as suggested, but could you check I've picked up what you intended.?— Rod talk 16:58, 17 September 2015 (UTC)
- You got most of what I intended, but I'd suggest reorganizing it like this:
- I've attempted to reorganise it as suggested, but could you check I've picked up what you intended.?— Rod talk 16:58, 17 September 2015 (UTC)
Leigh Woods is a 2-square-kilometre (0.77 sq mi) area of woodland on the south-west side of the Avon Gorge, close to the Clifton Suspension Bridge, within North Somerset opposite the English city of Bristol and north of the Ashton Court estate, of which it formed a part. Stokeleigh Camp, a hillfort thought to have been occupied from the third century BC to the first century AD and possibly also in the Middle Ages, lies within the reserve on the edge of the Nightingale Valley. On the bank of the Avon, within the reserve, are quarries for limestone and celestine which were worked in the 18th and 19th centuries, but are now derelict. In 1909 part of the woodland was donated to the National Trust by George Alfred Wills, to prevent development of the city beside the gorge following the building of the Leigh Woods suburb. Areas not owned by the National Trust have since been taken over by the Forestry Commission. Rare trees include multiple species of Sorbus with at least nine native and four imported species. Bristol rockcress (Arabis scabra) which is unique to the Avon Gorge can be seen flowering in April; various species of orchids and western spiked speedwell (Veronica spicata) are common in June and July. It is a national nature reserve and is included in the Avon Gorge Site of Special Scientific Interest.
I've made two edits to your original text, so watch for those if this isn't quite workable for you. Also, you generally don't need to cite anything in the lede if it's cited in the main body.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 18:19, 17 September 2015 (UTC)
- Thanks - I've used your version and moved the ref to flora & fauna where it talks about the SSSI designation.— Rod talk 18:56, 17 September 2015 (UTC)
- Does the limestone run from Clifton to Clevedon as well, or just the sandstone?
- The geology is similar for both and they generally lie in the same plane.— Rod talk 16:58, 17 September 2015 (UTC)
- hyphenate "long distance"
- Wood or woods?
- I found one occurrence of "wood" and changed it - have I missed any?— Rod talk 16:58, 17 September 2015 (UTC)
- That's all I noticed as well.
- I found one occurrence of "wood" and changed it - have I missed any?— Rod talk 16:58, 17 September 2015 (UTC)
- iron-involuted brooch Link involuted and brooch.
- Stokeleigh was connected with the Wansdyke, a series of defensive linear earthworks, consisting of a ditch and an embankment running at least from Maes Knoll in Somerset, to the Savernake Forest near Marlborough in Wiltshire, however there is little evidence for this. Awkward. Probably need to make the first verb conditional, i.e. "might have been connected".
- mineral line What's this, a narrow-gauge railway? If so, link it.
- Explained and linked Tramway (industrial).— Rod talk 16:58, 17 September 2015 (UTC)
- and tramway which add a "a" after "and"--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 18:19, 17 September 2015 (UTC)
- Explained and linked Tramway (industrial).— Rod talk 16:58, 17 September 2015 (UTC)
- Not sure that the details about the suburb are really necessary. Especially styles of houses.
- Removed.— Rod talk 16:58, 17 September 2015 (UTC)
- Not really happy about the separation of the paragraphs about the suburb and the donation, though I can't think of any thing better offhand. Not going to worry about it now, though it will become an issue if you intend to send it to FAC.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 18:19, 17 September 2015 (UTC)
- Removed.— Rod talk 16:58, 17 September 2015 (UTC)
- In 1857 the mutilated body of a murdered woman was found in Nightingale Valley.[22] In January 1858 John Beale was hanged at Taunton for the crime Combine these sentences.
- I don't quite see how I can do this improving the clarity.— Rod talk 16:58, 17 September 2015 (UTC)
- Howzabout this: "In 1857 the mutilated body of a murdered woman was found in Nightingale Valley; the following year, John Beale was hanged at Taunton for the crime in January 1858." This is just a suggestion and isn't a requirement to be passed if you'd prefer to keep the original wording.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 18:19, 17 September 2015 (UTC)
- Changed.— Rod talk 18:56, 17 September 2015 (UTC)
- Howzabout this: "In 1857 the mutilated body of a murdered woman was found in Nightingale Valley; the following year, John Beale was hanged at Taunton for the crime in January 1858." This is just a suggestion and isn't a requirement to be passed if you'd prefer to keep the original wording.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 18:19, 17 September 2015 (UTC)
- I don't quite see how I can do this improving the clarity.— Rod talk 16:58, 17 September 2015 (UTC)
- A further violent death occurred in 1948 when George Henry Chinnock, who had been living in the woods was found with head injuries Wouldn't "another violent..." read better? And you're missing a comma after woods.
- Part of the woodland was donated to the National Trust in 1909 by George Alfred Wills,[25] to prevent development of the city beside the gorge. Repeat of the sentence from the lede. Rephrase in a different way.
- Done.— Rod talk 16:58, 17 September 2015 (UTC)
- Much better.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 18:19, 17 September 2015 (UTC)
- Done.— Rod talk 16:58, 17 September 2015 (UTC)
- 18 April 1867 but closed on 3 April 1981 Missing comma
- Added.— Rod talk 16:58, 17 September 2015 (UTC)
- Link council for non-UK readers.
- In 1957 a Filton-based RAF Vampire jet from 501 Squadron piloted by Flying officer John Greenwood flew under the deck of the suspension bridge while performing a victory roll[32] before crashing in Leigh Woods, killing the pilot. A very busy sentence. Needs more commas to set off all the clauses, or, preferably, rewrite it into two smaller sentences.
- Reworded and split into two sentences.— Rod talk 16:58, 17 September 2015 (UTC)
- Tweaked this a bit, see if it suits.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 18:19, 17 September 2015 (UTC)
- Fine by me.— Rod talk 18:56, 17 September 2015 (UTC)
- Tweaked this a bit, see if it suits.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 18:19, 17 September 2015 (UTC)
- Reworded and split into two sentences.— Rod talk 16:58, 17 September 2015 (UTC)
- fauna the woods needs a comma after fauna
- Added.— Rod talk 16:58, 17 September 2015 (UTC)
- Link pollards, oak, small-leaved lime, coppice, Bilberry--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 20:41, 16 September 2015 (UTC)
Thanks for your comments. Hopefully most of them are addressed. Could you check the structure of the lead is what you suggested and woods v wood?— Rod talk 16:58, 17 September 2015 (UTC)