Talk:Leningrad première of Shostakovich's Symphony No. 7/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Sarastro1 (talk · contribs) 20:51, 28 December 2012 (UTC)

Really interesting, very readable article, and no major issues. In fact, I could pass this straight away pretty much, but here are a few nit-picks before I do so. Sarastro1 (talk) 22:47, 28 December 2012 (UTC)

• Perhaps the lead could establish the context that this took place during the siege?
• Maybe include a sentence or two on who Shostakovich was?
• "The group had not been playing and musical broadcasts had ceased.[8] The orchestra's last performance had taken place on 14 December 1941 and its last broadcast on 1 January 1942." Do we need the first sentence at all, given that the second sentence pretty much covers it?
• "was quickly ended by Andrei Zhdanov": A word on who he is?
• "Efforts were made to seek out those musicians who could not come.": If they could not come, why were they sought out?

• They hadn't come because they were starving - clarified. Nikkimaria (talk) 03:13, 29 December 2012 (UTC)

• In fact, I'm slightly confused by this paragraph. Did they decide to do the concert, realise that many were missing (not sure what "available" means given that there were no rehearsals. Were they summoned for the performance, and some did not turn up?) and then seek out the rest of the musicians?

• Attempted to clarify. Basically they sent out a call for orchestral musicians to rehearse and only a few turned up; the performance was several months later. Nikkimaria (talk) 03:13, 29 December 2012 (UTC)

• "Collapses were frequent throughout rehearsals, especially among brass players.": Collapses of the musicians, presumably, rather than, say, the stage? What about "Players frequently collapsed throughout rehearsals, particularly among the brass section".
• "Orchestral players were given additional rations (donated by civilian music enthusiasts) in an effort to combat starvation and hot bricks were used for radiant heat (the building was unheated); nevertheless, three performers died while rehearsals were ongoing.": Why does this need five refs? It seems excessive.

• Different refs for additional rations, food donations, hot bricks, unheated building, and deaths - I could split these up per point, but to me that seems messy. Nikkimaria (talk) 03:13, 29 December 2012 (UTC)

• "Instruments were in poor condition and few repairpeople were available; one oboist was asked for a cat in exchange for a repair.": I don't quite see the connection between the two parts of the sentence. Also, "repairpeople" seems quite clumsy. (And why a cat????)

• Both parts relate to instrument repair: the repairman to which the oboist went was starving, so he asked her to provide a cat for him to eat (most of the city's dogs and cats had been consumed, and more traditional "food" animals were long gone). Any suggestions on how to better connect these parts? Nikkimaria (talk) 03:13, 29 December 2012 (UTC)

• "The orchestra performed the entire symphony only once before the première, at a dress rehearsal on 6 August.": Presumably this means once all the way through? (And what were they doing at all those long rehearsals?)

• Collapsing and trembling, for the most part. They were too weak to be able to play long stretches of music at a time, and needed long pauses; they were also playing quite badly, so the conductor would need to spend considerable time correcting issues and making suggestions.

• "This was the day Hitler had chosen previously to celebrate the fall of Leningrad with a lavish banquet at the Astoria Hotel.": Perhaps reword here as it appears that Leningrad had, in fact, fallen.
• The Eliasberg quote does not really stand out as a quote separate from the text.
• Maybe mention in the aftermath section the outcome of the siege (albeit very briefly)?
• Did the orchestra perform other works in public, or was this pretty much a "one-off" event?

• I mentioned a Tchaikovsky concert in April 1942; there may have been other performances, but I haven't found sources that mention them explicitly. They definitely rehearsed other works. Nikkimaria (talk) 03:13, 29 December 2012 (UTC)

• Spotchecks reveal no problems
• External links and dablinks fine. Images fine.

I'll place this on hold, but this should be very quick to sort. Sarastro1 (talk) 22:47, 28 December 2012 (UTC)

Addressed, except where noted. Thanks for reviewing! Nikkimaria (talk) 03:13, 29 December 2012 (UTC)

Everything looks good. Not a big deal about the cat-eating repairman, so passing now. Sarastro1 (talk) 09:13, 29 December 2012 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.