Talk:Lleyton Hewitt/GA2

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Wizardman (talk · contribs) 03:07, 19 January 2014 (UTC)

Here's my review of this article. In short, there's a lot of work that needs to be done on Hewitt before GA status can even be considered, let alone granted:

• The lead needs to be expanded.
• There's nothing about his early life. It just jumps into his tennis career with nothing beforehand.
• The following sections are completely unsourced and need sources added: 2001, 2002, 2003, 2005, 2006, World Team Cup, Olympics, and the entire rivalries section.
• Pretty much every year of his tennis career is inadequately sourced. At a minimum, one citation per paragraph is needed, and for a living person, a lot more is needed. Really, the only section I would consider appropriately sourced is the personal life section.
• A good chunk of the references that do exist are just bare URLs, which barely help at all. Titles, publishers, dates, etc. are needed to flesh out the refs. On the plus side, the references that are in the article are for the most part valid ones.

The referencing issues alone would be enough to fail the article, but I did a read through as well. In short, the article is not at all well-written, and needs a rewrite big time before it can be considered for GAN. Here are some of those problems:

• "Hewitt might well have followed in the footsteps of his Australian rules football-playing father Glynn. Instead, he became one of the youngest winners of an Association of Tennis Professionals (ATP) tournament when, as an almost unknown youngster, he won the 1998 Next Generation Adelaide International, defeating Andre Agassi in the semifinals." These are the first two sentences of the article, and it reads like it was ripped from a book forward rather than written as an encyclopedic article. That chunk needs a rewrite. Plus, do you have any proof he wanted to go into football? If not, that first sentence is dishonest and can't be used.
• "Only Aaron Krickstein winning Tel Aviv in 1983 and Michael Chang winning San Francisco in 1988 were younger when claiming their first ATP title." Doesn't really fit in with the starting section well.
• The article jumps from 1997 to 2000 with nothing in between.
• "In 2000, Hewitt reached his first Grand Slam final at the Wimbledon mixed doubles partnering Belgian Kim Clijsters, his then girlfriend." you mean partnering with? Missing a word.
• "For his third straight year, He qualified for the year-end " Capitalization error.
• "His hard work paid off during the Australian summer, when he" Poor tone, remove.
• "2008 was the first year since 1997 in which Hewitt did not win a title." Can't start a sentence with a number, but more importantly this implies he won a title in 1998 and 1999, and again those two years are omitted. Add them.
• The structure of 2009 and 2010 is quite poor, with a lot of one-sentence paragraphs. The article needs to be able to flow, rather than just be a bunch of sentences thrown together hoping it fits.
• "and following up with a five-set epic upset against fellow former US Open champion Juan Martin Del Potro, where Hewitt" Again, tone issue there. Plus that's the only sentence you note the upset in. If it was really that epic there'd either be more detail or a source noting that.
• Voltchkov said before the match that "Hewitt has no weapons to hurt me." Hewitt responded, "Voltchkov doesn't have a ranking [of 457] to hurt me." Unsourced quote: those more than anything have to be sourced.
• "Hewitt competed in his third olympics in London 2012 " Capitalize Olympics.
• There's a lot of comma splicing in the article where you have commas that are not needed.
• As noted in a few sentences above, the tone is poor in many sections of the article, reading like a blog piece rather than an enyclopedic article. As a result this needs a fundamental rewrite.

Due to the above, I have to fail this as a GAN. Do not renominate the article without addressing the concerns. Wizardman 03:07, 19 January 2014 (UTC)