Talk:Lola (song)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: IndianBio (talk · contribs) 18:26, 2 June 2015 (UTC)

Hi IndianBio! Thanks for taking the time to review the article. Beatleswhobeachboys (talk) 22:20, 2 June 2015 (UTC)

• The song details a romantic encounter between a young man and a possible transvestite ---> possible transvestite sounds immensely ignorant. Please change the phrase to "The song details a romantic encounter between a young man and possibly a transvestite, whom he.."
• with the narrator --> Make it a new sentence
• alternate explanations for the song's true meaning ---> redundant, make it simply "alternate explanations for the song have been spread by..."
• Released in June 1970, in the UK on the 12th and in the USA on the 28th, the single reached #2 in the UK charts[2] and #9 in the US. --> Pretty bad phrasing, please change it to "The song was released in the United Kingdom on June 12, 1970, while in the United States it was released on June 28, 1970. Commercially, the single reached number two on the UK Singles Chart and number nine on the Billboard Hot 100.
• and even bans from some groups -->which groups?
• Italicize NME ---> NME
• Please remove that tracklisting collapsible list from the infobox. It has been deleted and removed time and time again and is considered extremely redundant.
• The audio sample present has no contextual significance and fails WP:NFCC#8. Either generate a composition section else remove it altogther.

I have to admit, these few queries itself just into the leads is worrisome and it seems that proper GA criteria is seriously lagging here. Have to ask you Beatleswhobeachboys are you sure you can handle the review? Because this is borderline quick-fail material. There are so many things that I'm having to pin point in each and every line. I would strongly suggest to go through a peer review for this article. I would first like to know your thoughts and then proceed. —Indian:BIO ^{[ ChitChat ]} 14:00, 3 June 2015 (UTC)

Indian:BIO, I feel that although the lead needed a decent amount of work, the rest of the article is up to standards. I went through again, corrected the issues you pointed out above, and did some rewording: hopefully this will solve the issues you have. Beatleswhobeachboys (talk) 19:12, 3 June 2015 (UTC)

Ok then I will proceed with the review. —Indian:BIO ^{[ ChitChat ]} 05:34, 4 June 2015 (UTC)

... Continuing with the review

• The background section uses too many direct quotes. Thats the easy way out but becomes borderline WP:COPYVIO. Please rephrase them to your own language.
• Davies said of writing the song,--> again a direct quote that can easily be replaced by own words
• Please link the technical terms and instrument names in the recording part. Common man won;t be aware of what all of them are
• Another blockquote about buying the guitar.
• backed with the Kinks Are the Village Green Preservation Society outtake "Berkeley Mews" in the UK --> you mean B-side, so link that accordingly, not "backed"
• reaching #2 in Britain[2] and #9 in America --> avoid # usage for numerics, use number two like that
• In a then-current Record Mirror article entitled "SEX CHANGE RECORD: KINK SPEAKS" ---> No caps pleaase
• Italicize NME
• These live versions are out of context. The infobox shows a 1980 release while the text does not list it, there are unsourced content here as well as MOS issues pointed above all of which needs to be corrected.
  • The infobox is of the One for the Road version: I just made a mistake in the date. I'll clean up the section though.
• All the credits need an en-dash in between.
• All the charts using {{singlechart}} template requires accessdate
• The chart tables for two different years need to be separated

On hold for seven days. —Indian:BIO ^{[ ChitChat ]} 09:01, 9 June 2015 (UTC)

• • Ok: I'll start working. Beatleswhobeachboys (talk) 10:54, 9 June 2015 (UTC)
    • IndianBio, I believe I've tackled all the problems you mentioned. If there is anything else that needs work, let me know. Beatleswhobeachboys (talk) 20:25, 9 June 2015 (UTC)
      • Hi Beatleswhobeachboys, some of the references still do not use en-dash in their titles, one uses all-caps. Also for the singlechart template usage in the chart table, you need to add rowheader=true parameter, and also !scope="row" for the other charts. Another point, the Irish charts can also be generated using singlechart template. —Indian:BIO ^{[ ChitChat ]} 02:37, 10 June 2015 (UTC)
        • IndianBio, I added the en-dashes where needed and de-capitalized the source. However, the table stuff is kind of beyond my level of expertise. I'm having trouble finding how to add rowheader=true parameter and !scope="row". As for the Irish single chart, it was giving me problems before, so I removed it. Beatleswhobeachboys (talk) 19:30, 10 June 2015 (UTC)
          • Hi, I have made the necessary changes to the table and also some other tidbits. —Indian:BIO ^{[ ChitChat ]} 10:28, 11 June 2015 (UTC)
            • I'm happy to pass the article now. Congrats. —Indian:BIO ^{[ ChitChat ]} 10:35, 11 June 2015 (UTC)
              • Thank you! Beatleswhobeachboys (talk) 10:58, 11 June 2015 (UTC)