Talk:Louis Klein/GA1

GA Review

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GA review (see here for criteria)

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose): b (MoS):

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars, etc.:

6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

7. Overall:

   Pass/Fail:

Reviewer: MisterBee1966 (talk) 08:44, 31 May 2010 (UTC)

Comments by MisterBee1966

• currently you have two ambiguous links in the article  Done
• The entire article reads a bit like it was digested by a bable fish. It reads strange to me.
• add a link to the correct Weissensee (Thuringia?)  Done
• "He was known also as the victim of the deception perpetrated by the Prussian general Blücher following the Battle of Jena-Auerstadt, in which Blücher escaped with 7,000 Prussian soldiers." Your English is better than mine but this sounds strange to me. Wouldn't it sound better if you wrote "He was deceived by the Prussian general Blücher following the Battle of Jena-Auerstadt, in which Blücher escaped with 7,000 Prussian soldiers." ?
• I think the lead needs an overhaul. It reads choppy and the unknowledgeable reader has to click his way through the different articles to get a notion of what you mean. Example: "he did not take part in the Hundred Days." at least add "of Napoleon" to the link.
• "Initially, Klein served in the king's house guard". Why make me click to find out it was Louis XIV?
• "infantry lieutenant" and for "brigadier general" add some links so I can find out what infantry and lieutenant is.
• Why is Adjutant-General capitalized? Is this grammatically different from brigadier general?

Actually, yes. Adjutant General is a title (Adjutant General Michel Ney), and brigadier general is a rank. If it had been Brigadier General Michel Ney, that would have been correct.

• link "Chief of Staff"  Done
• "limiting the Austro-Russian activity" What needed limiting?
• "Bringing up the rear of the line of march" What is a "line of march"? Sorry my English must have deteriorated but this makes no sense to me

LHe was the last in the line.

• "He was part of the decisive defeat" Do we know what role he played

no, I don't.

• "Blücher was surprised to find Klein in possession of the village, but convinced him an armistice has been concluded." Is this proper English? Blücher convinced Klein that an armistice had been negotiated, right?

negotiated and concluded. I think either would be right.

• Napoleon is never linked directly, only implicitly does one find out it is Napoleon Bonaparte

Overall I find this article not to be one of your best articles. It is very high level; it hardly ever details what his contribution in the different battles was. My general perception is that it is missing a lot to be of GA quality. MisterBee1966 (talk) 13:40, 31 May 2010 (UTC)

Yes, you are right. Give me a day or two and I'll bang it into better shape. Auntieruth55 (talk) 02:34, 1 June 2010 (UTC)

MrB these should be taken care of now, either fixed as you've suggested or rewritten with more info. auntieruth (talk) 18:56, 25 June 2010 (UTC)

Looks nice, approved MisterBee1966 (talk) 10:51, 29 June 2010 (UTC)