Talk:Luminosity – Ignite the Night!/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Dom497 (talk · contribs) 00:32, 25 March 2013 (UTC)

Your articles are the only ones that really interest me in the nomination list so I have been left with no choice :P .--Dom497 (talk) 00:32, 25 March 2013 (UTC)

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

1. Is it reasonably well written?

   A. Prose quality:

   B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:

2. Is it factually accurate and verifiable?

   A. Has an appropriate reference section:

   B. Citation to reliable sources where necessary:

   C. No original research:

3. Is it broad in its coverage?

   A. Major aspects:

   B. Focused:

4. Is it neutral?

   Fair representation without bias:

5. Is it stable?

   No edit wars, etc:

6. Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?

   A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:

   B. Images are provided if possible and are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:

7. Overall:

   Pass or Fail:

   On hold for 7 days.--Dom497 (talk) 20:02, 28 March 2013 (UTC)]] On hold until April 8, 2013--Dom497 (talk) 18:24, 1 April 2013 (UTC) Pass!--Dom497 (talk) 21:04, 3 April 2013 (UTC)

Comments

• In the lead, there are three consecutive sentences that start with "it". Change it up a bit! :P --Dom497 (talk) 00:47, 25 March 2013 (UTC)

 Done-- Astros4477 (Talk) 02:29, 25 March 2013 (UTC)

• "In 2013, Cedar Point will build the show "in-house", meaning RWS will not coordinate the show.[12] Also in 2013, the show will be performed every night except Tuesday.[13]" - Probably a good idea to combine these two sentences into one.--Dom497 (talk) 00:47, 25 March 2013 (UTC)

I changed the wording so 2013 wasn't repeated.-- Astros4477 (Talk) 02:29, 25 March 2013 (UTC)

• "The new show transforms..." - Wasn't Celebration Plaza introduced last year?--Dom497 (talk) 00:36, 26 March 2013 (UTC)

 Fixed-- Astros4477 (Talk) 01:35, 26 March 2013 (UTC)

• "The area features curved edges." - Ummmm, is this really necessary?--Dom497 (talk) 00:36, 26 March 2013 (UTC)

I'd say so because that was one of the main parts of the project.-- Astros4477 (Talk) 01:35, 26 March 2013 (UTC)

What?!?! Sorry but how can making curved edges be a main part of the project? Either way it needs a source if it is to stay in the article.--Dom497 (talk) 18:56, 26 March 2013 (UTC)

 Done, they really wanted to create a modern atmosphere as opposed to a lot of the other midways at Cedar Point.-- Astros4477 (Talk) 00:36, 27 March 2013 (UTC)

Ummm, a modern atmosphere with curved edges....still makes no sense to me. Oh well, its got a ref so its staying!--Dom497 (talk) 23:50, 27 March 2013 (UTC)

• "WildCat was fully removed prior to opening day" - Pretty much repeats the same thing as the previous sentence.--Dom497 (talk) 00:36, 26 March 2013 (UTC)

 Fixed-- Astros4477 (Talk) 01:36, 26 March 2013 (UTC)

• "Luminosity performers do flash mobs..." - Do we know if they are doing that this year as well? If not, I think putting this into past tense might be the the best for now.--Dom497 (talk) 00:36, 26 March 2013 (UTC)

Well not all the details have been released for this season's show so I think we should leave it until we know. I'd think it'll return.-- Astros4477 (Talk) 01:41, 26 March 2013 (UTC)

• "Luminosity starts at 9:00..." - 9:00 am/pm EST/UST/PST???--Dom497 (talk) 00:36, 26 March 2013 (UTC)

Isn't it generally accepted that time formats are what it is located in? I don't think I've ever seen EST/CST/MST/PST in an article.-- Astros4477 (Talk) 01:41, 26 March 2013 (UTC)

True, I don't know what I was typing, though I still believe am/pm should be included.--Dom497 (talk) 18:56, 26 March 2013 (UTC)

 Done-- Astros4477 (Talk) 00:36, 27 March 2013 (UTC)

• "n the middle of the midway, dancers are raised above the crowd. Iron Dragon is closed during the show." - Source?--Dom497 (talk) 00:36, 26 March 2013 (UTC)

 Done-- Astros4477 (Talk) 01:51, 26 March 2013 (UTC)

• "Guests are able to send text messages after the show requesting songs from the DJ's playlist" - Source?--Dom497 (talk) 23:57, 27 March 2013 (UTC)
• "Top Thrill Dragster's theme song, Ready to Go by Republica..." - Source?--Dom497 (talk) 23:58, 27 March 2013 (UTC)

 Done-- Astros4477 (Talk) 01:42, 28 March 2013 (UTC)

*Ready to Go leads to a disambiguation page.--Dom497 (talk) 23:57, 27 March 2013 (UTC)

 Fixed-- Astros4477 (Talk) 01:45, 28 March 2013 (UTC)

• Different props are used in each segment"--Dom497 (talk) 23:57, 27 March 2013 (UTC)

 Done-- Astros4477 (Talk) 01:45, 28 March 2013 (UTC)

• Source for the info about the three segments?--Dom497 (talk) 20:00, 28 March 2013 (UTC)

 Done-- Astros4477 (Talk) 22:43, 29 March 2013 (UTC)

• "...the DJ starts to rise from the middle of the stage" really?" - Not quite sure he's in the middle.--Dom497 (talk) 20:00, 28 March 2013 (UTC)

Where do you think he is?-- Astros4477 (Talk) 22:43, 29 March 2013 (UTC)

From the angle the video is at, looks like either in front or the front of the stage.--Dom497 (talk) 01:36, 30 March 2013 (UTC)

I reworded it.-- Astros4477 (Talk) 18:44, 1 April 2013 (UTC)

• "The DJ then starts playing dance music and taking song requests from the crowd. People can also text shout-outs that appear on the screens." - Where does the source state this?--Dom497 (talk) 20:00, 28 March 2013 (UTC)

I removed the first part but you can see the shout-outs on the screens in the video.-- Astros4477 (Talk) 18:46, 1 April 2013 (UTC)

*"...balcony of the Coliseum along the main midway" - Source says ballroom, not coliseum.--Dom497 (talk) 20:00, 28 March 2013 (UTC)

The ballroom is in the coliseum.-- Astros4477 (Talk) 22:44, 29 March 2013 (UTC)

This is me being picky, but how do we know that?--Dom497 (talk) 01:36, 30 March 2013 (UTC)

I could find a source but I don't think that's really necessary.-- Astros4477 (Talk) 18:41, 1 April 2013 (UTC)

But than couldn't some assume that the ballroom is somewhere else?--Dom497 (talk) 21:23, 1 April 2013 (UTC)

I added ballroom so there's no confusion.-- Astros4477 (Talk) 21:30, 1 April 2013 (UTC)

*Any reviews from newspapers (or simply not anyone from the industry)?--Dom497 (talk) 20:00, 28 March 2013 (UTC)

I looked when I wrote the article and I looked now and couldn't find anything.-- Astros4477 (Talk) 21:32, 1 April 2013 (UTC)

*Refs 9 and 29 are missing publishers.--Dom497 (talk) 20:00, 28 March 2013 (UTC)

 Done-- Astros4477 (Talk) 22:46, 29 March 2013 (UTC)

Sorry that this is taking so long...got some school stuff to worry about.--Dom497 (talk) 23:57, 27 March 2013 (UTC)

That's ok, real life always comes first.-- Astros4477 (Talk) 01:45, 28 March 2013 (UTC)

Finally done (though I may do one more thing if I feel like it)!--Dom497 (talk) 20:00, 28 March 2013 (UTC)