Talk:Mansour Ali Haseeb/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Amitchell125 (talk · contribs) 15:42, 21 July 2023 (UTC)

Happy to review the article. AM

Copy editing

The article is in need of copy editing, and this issue hasn't been addressed since the nominator was informed of the issue. Amitchell125 (talk) 07:41, 26 August 2023 (UTC)

The issues have in fact been addressed. My error. Amitchell125 (talk) 11:34, 26 August 2023 (UTC)

Review comments

Lead section / infobox

• Link vaccine; Sudanese (Sudan). Y
• Unlink United Kingdom (MOS:OL, here and in the text). Y
• The Godfather Of Sudan's Laboratory Medicine – no italics, and The has no capital letter. This issue also occurs in the text.

I used quotations hope that is OK

• Red link Stack Medical Research Laboratories in the infobox. Y

1.1 Early life and education

• Link bacteriology; parasitology. Y
• Judge of Al Gitana – is this his official title?

no, I will make use no cap for Judge

• He attended – 'Haseeb attended’ as this is a new paragraph. Y
• His family – ‘Haseeb’s family’, for the sake of clarity. Y
• I would move the image to the other side, as at present it affects the position of the following subsection. Y
• medical education – ‘his medical education’. Y
• (DKSM) – is not needed, as the abbreviation does not reoccur in the text. Y
• mention 1934 – the citations that follow this are not all needed, only keep the minimum necessary to verify the text (see WP:OVERKILL for more information). There should not be any inside the brackets. Y
• Ditto or 1946.Y

I added them to a note with 1 ref

1.2 Medical career and research

• parasitology should not be linked here. Y
• The image should not be enlarged.

image removed as in the default size you cannot see anything

• He left Stack, in 1963, succeeded by Mohamed Hamad Satti, to become a professor of Microbiology and Parasitology,and the first Sudanese Dean of the Faculty of Medicine at the University of Khartoum until 1969 – needs copy editing (for instance by breaking up this overlong sentence). Y
• He was an examiner - is the start of a single sentence paragraph, and would be better included at the end of the previous one. Y
• Link vaccine. Y
• and epidemic meningitis – is followed by three citations. Only one is needed. Y
• The following journals should be in italics - Nature; The Lancet; British Medical Journal; Sudan Medical Journal. Y
• Editor-in-Chief – has no capitals. Y
• Harry Hoogstraal needs to be introduced.

added renowned American entomologist and parasitologist Harry Hoogstraal stated, renowned can be seen as peacock term put the guy was described as "the greatest authority on ticks and tickborne diseases who ever lived."

I agree. Renowned works imo. AM

1.3 Mayor of Omdurman

• Link Queen Elizabeth II in the caption. Y
• to the right of the Queen – on her right, or to the right of the photograph?

added Haseeb is seated beside the Queen, positioned to her right.

1.4 Personal life and death

• e.g., Al Hakeem (Arabic: الحكيم) needs to be explained more fully, so that readers understand what is being referred to here.

removed. I think the source meant that he used to write a diary called Al Hakeem (the doctor) put could not find anything to support this OR

• shortly after - is too vague. Did this happen weeks, days, or hours afterwards?

fixed to "few months"

• I’m unclear what His funeral ceremony reflected the feelings of the medical community means. I’m guessing what is being referred to here is the number of medical people who were there, but it’s not clear.

text expanded

2 Awards and honours

• Unlink United Arab Republic (MOS:OL).

United Arab Republic (not United Arab Emirates) was a short lived state from 1958-1971, I am sure most people are not familiar with this country

Agreed, my error. AM

• Replace H.M. with the unabbreviated words.

removed, the full word is an overkill

• he received – ‘Haseeb received’, for the sake of clarity. Y

3 Notes

• End the sentence with a full stop.Y

4 References

• Ref 13 (Safi) - the link cannot be used to verify the information, and so I would not include it.

added a link to the PDF published by the Sudan Medical Heritage Foundation Publications

• Ref 18 (Haseeb) - I would add a 'subscription required' tag. Ditto Ref 28 (Haseb - note incorrect spelling) and Ref 29 (Haseeb). Y
• Ref 25/26 ("An Epidemiological Expedition, 1954") appear to be the same source.

yes, same information hosted in different website, sorry. removed

On hold

I'm putting the article on hold for a week until 8 September to allow time for the issues raised to be addressed. Regards, Amitchell125 (talk) 09:04, 31 August 2023 (UTC)

@Amitchell125 thanks for the feedback. I have amended most of your point. My reply is above in green. cheers FuzzyMagma (talk) 17:29, 31 August 2023 (UTC)

Passing

The article looks fine now, so I'm happy to pass it as a GA. Many thanks for your work, and congratulations. Amitchell125 (talk) 06:26, 1 September 2023 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.