Talk:Mark Giordano/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Harrias (talk · contribs) 20:41, 23 January 2015 (UTC)

Playing career

• Link "points" on first use.
• Explain what the "OHL First All-Rookie Team" is.
• Minor point, but most writing manuals prefer "despite" over "in spite of", though there isn't really a problem with the latter.
• "..the Phoenix Coyotes training camp.." Should it be "..the Phoenix Coyotes' training camp.." (I'm genuinely unsure.)
• "..Giordano enrolled in York University's school of business when he received a late invitation.." Did he therefore quit York University, or did he go and play alongside? I assume he did not go to university, but it doesn't make this clear.
• "..he felt he had proven what he could in the AHL.." Missing "do" after "could".
• "The Canadian national team named him an alternate.." This is a bit unclear for those not familiar with the term, it might be better to explain it.
• Link "alternate captain".
• "A blocked shot felled Giordano early in the 2013–14 as.." Missing "season", also I'm not sure "felled" is encyclopedic language.
• "He still recorded career highs of 13 goals and 47 points,[7] Though" Not sure if the comma is wrong, or the capital letter?

References

• Out of interest, where do you find the offline newspaper sources?

I don't like the flag in the infobox, but something tells me I'm unlikely to win that battle... Generally a very good article, as I was expecting it to be from you. Just those few little points, and I think we'll be good. I'll stick it on hold for the moment. Harrias ^talk 20:41, 23 January 2015 (UTC)

All in the playing career section should be addressed. The flag issue... that's coded into the template and has been used this way for years. Would require a wider discussion overall. (FWIW, I don't think the flag presents an issue personally.) The offline cites come from my membership with the Calgary Public Library. Since I am always updating articles on Flames players, I tend to save PDF copies of stories from current issues of the paper for later use. Our library also has free access to a digital archive, but the URLs are temporary, so I can't save links into the Wikipedia articles. They would just 404 for anyone else clicking on them. Thanks for the review! Resolute 00:07, 24 January 2015 (UTC)

Ah, that makes sense. I would be jealous, but thinking about it, my library card gets me onto quite a few decent resources. With those changes, I'm happy that the article meets GA standards, nice work. Harrias ^talk 11:06, 24 January 2015 (UTC)

Yeah, the CPL has a nice system set up. Unfortunately, a large microfilm archive was destroyed a couple years ago and was never fully replaced. That really hurt for old research. Anyway, thanks for the review and pass. Appreciate it! Resolute 15:37, 24 January 2015 (UTC)