Talk:Marmaduke–Walker duel/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Zawed (talk · contribs) 08:02, 1 November 2021 (UTC)

I'll take this one. Comments to follow in next couple of days. Zawed (talk) 08:02, 1 November 2021 (UTC)

Oops, sorry, took a bit longer than anticipated to get to this. Pretty tight and tidy, comments as follows: Lead

• ...friends resulted in a duel, which resulted in Walker...: suggest rephrasing so as to avoid the repeated usage of "resulted"
  • Done

Background

• where he was wounded. While this wound caused him...: suggest rephrasing to avoid close usage of wound. How about "where he was wounded. This cause him..."
  • Done
• Marmaduke's report blamed Walker on his failure to capture the his objective.: "the objective" or "his objective"?
  • Removed the "the"

The duel

• and sent the cavalry forces of both Marmaduke and Walker to observe and interfere with Union movements.: suggest tweaking this to emphasise that they were working independently at this point. I think that would better set up the fact that Marmadule was placed under Walker's command later on.
  • Tweaked
• and left Marmaduke's men alone; Marmaduke came close to capture as a result.: perhaps replace alone with isolated? Suggest rephrasing to drop the second instance of Marmaduke here, his name is mentioned three times in one sentence.
  • Rejigged
• burned the bridge of the Bayou Meto River.: bridge of or bridge across?
  • Across. Corrected
• Walker neither came nor replied. Angered by Walker, Marmaduke...: suggest "Walker neither came nor replied, which angered Marmaduke. He..."
  • Done
• planning to resign if not transferred;: suggest "planning to resign if his request was declined;"
  • Done
• Either Walker[16] or Crocket: Not sure this is the best phrasing. Presumably the sources aren't clear on who made and received the actual challenge. I suggest something like: It is not clear whether their respective intermediaries were involved in passing it on, but Walker issued a challenge for a duel which was accepted by Marmaduke, despite... " and then have cites 16 and 17 at the end of the sentence.
  • I've reworked this here significantly

Sources

• place of publisher for Welsh?
  • Added (Kent, Ohio)

Other stuff

• Dupe links: Theophilus Holmes, brigade, second (duel)
  • Removed these
• Image tags look OK.
  • I've actually strengthened the licensing for the Walker image by providing better proof of publishing before 1926
• Not a GA issue, but I notice this is only in a couple of cats; can it be placed in a few more?
  • Done, I've had difficulties coming up with cats for this one

Looks good otherwise. Cheers, Zawed (talk) 10:06, 6 November 2021 (UTC)

• • @Zawed: Thanks for the review! I think I've got all these replied to. Hog Farm _Talk 04:49, 7 November 2021 (UTC)
    • @Zawed: - Just making sure you saw the replies. Hog Farm _Talk 16:57, 10 November 2021 (UTC)

• Looks good to me, passing as GA as I believe it meets the necessary criteria. Good work. Zawed (talk) 10:41, 12 November 2021 (UTC)