Talk:Mary F. Hoyt/GA1

GA Review

Latest comment: 2 years ago7 comments2 people in discussion

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Reviewer: Kavyansh.Singh (talk · contribs) 09:40, 24 February 2022 (UTC)Reply
Nominator: Doug Coldwell (talk · contribs) at 22:01, 7 February 2022 (UTC)Reply

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
It is reasonably well written. a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists): It is factually accurate and verifiable. a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism): It is broad in its coverage. a (major aspects): b (focused): It follows the neutral point of view policy. Fair representation without bias: It is stable. No edit wars, etc.: It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate. a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall: Pass/Fail:
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"which was followed by hundreds of thousands of women filling these government positions" — Did Hoyt's appointment to federal civil service the main cause for 'hundreds of thousands of women filling these government positions', or is this just a trivia? Can we rephrase?
Done

"She was a centenarian." — For the lead, can we say that "She died in 1958, at the age of 100", with 'at the age of 100' piped to centenarian?
Done

"Hoyt was born in" — Full name should be mentioned on the first instance in the prose.
Done

"Her first job was a favorable position for a young lady" — I don't think this is too important to mention that it was a 'favorable position'
Done

"is a federal law established in 1883 which decided that" — we switch from present to past tense
Done

"US president Chester A. Arthur" — I guess it should be clear by the context the Arthur is American president. Remove US. And my reading of MOS:JOBTITLE is that 'p' in 'President' should be capitalized.
Done

"in the spring of 1883" — MOS:SEASON discourages the use of seasons to refer to a particular part of the year.
Done

"Hoyt produced the highest score" — is 'produced' the most appropriate word? How about received?
Done

"A letter from President Dwight D. Eisenhower was delivered to Hoyt by the chairman of the United States Civil Service Commission, Harris Ellsworth." — which year?
Done

"Eisenhower's letter explained that a door had been opened for women's opportunities in civil service, and that she was the leader for these opportunities" — we should be either directly quoting his letter, or paraphrasing it. But I am not sure whether we should be saying "a door had been opened" or "she was the leader for these opportunities" or "Hundreds of thousand of women" in Wikipedia's voice
Done

"while working at the US Census Office" — was she at "US Census Office" or "Census Bureau"?
Done

"Roger (b. 9/12/1889), Truman (b. 11/4/1893), Alan (b. 10/9/1894), and Elinor (b. 2/15/1896)" — Do we really need to mention the date of birth?
Done

File:US Treasury Department 19th century.jpg — If the author is "Government employee of 19th century", shouldn't it be {{PD-USGov}}?
Done

Suggesting to be consistent whether you use plain citations or specific citation templates.
Done

Ref#6 — Plain link; and why is Geni.com reliable to use? WP:RS/P#Geni.com states it is unreliable.
Done

Thanks for review. Will get started in resolving the issues.--Doug Coldwell (talk) 10:48, 24 February 2022 (UTC)Reply

@Kavyansh.Singh: All issues have been addressed. Can you take another look. Thanks.--Doug Coldwell (talk) 19:15, 24 February 2022 (UTC)Reply