Talk:Mary K. Rothbart

Latest comment: 7 years ago by Ian (Wiki Ed) in topic Feedback

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Hi Michaela!

I really liked your lead section because you brought a lot of focus to Dr. Rothbart's personal life. I tried to find more information about Rothbart's life outside of her research, but I really struggled. I am glad that you were able to find relevant information regarding Dr. Rothbart's personal life!Alyssa.j.anderson (talk) 02:07, 27 October 2016 (UTC)Reply

Alyssa, I think this is a really good lead section. You explain the main topic, you definitely explain why the topic is important, and summarize the important points. If someone read this paragraph they would have a good overview of her research and professional career. But I also think that there should be a little more personal details included too. Such as when and where she was born. Mrocheleau13 (talk) 04:58, 27 October 2016 (UTC)Reply

Hi Courtney!

Your lead has good information, which is similar to both mine and Alyssa's which is good! I also think including the Infant Behavior Questionnaire was interesting since I didn't read anything about it. Since what all of us have are so similar for information I think our lead will be right on track to a good preview to our page. I also think it is good how concise and broad your lead is, which is what we want for a lead section.

Mrocheleau13 (talk) 21:06, 18 November 2016 (UTC)Reply

Feedback

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@Courtneyhagen, Alyssa.j.anderson, and Mrocheleau13: Nice work on your draft. A few things moving forward

  • You can tighten up your wording a bit. For example, you wrote

She is now retired from her teaching career, but continues to conduct research.

When you say "is now retired" you unnecessarily locate the article in a "now". Wikipedia articles aren't dated - they (hopefully) will continue to be updated and improved over the years. So rather than saying "She is now retired" say "She retired in [year] but continues..." {or "but remains active in research").