Talk:Maybe (Emma Bunton song)/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: BuySomeApples (talk · contribs) 22:46, 26 August 2023 (UTC)

Rate	Attribute	Review Comment
1. Well-written:
	1a. the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct.	Needs a little work on this front.
	1b. it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation.	Looks pretty good
2. Verifiable with no original research:
	2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline.
	2b. reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose).
	2c. it contains no original research.
	2d. it contains no copyright violations or plagiarism.	Looks clean on Earwig, except for one instance of paraphrasing that's a bit too close for me, included below.
3. Broad in its coverage:
	3a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic.	This looks like a very good overview of the song and its production history, reception, etc.
	3b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).
	4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each.
	5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute.
6. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio:
	6a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content.
	6b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions.	Nice job picking photos for this.
	7. Overall assessment.

Lede

* “It was written by Bunton in partnership with Yak Bondy, while production was handled by Mike Peden.” > “It was written by Bunton and Yak Bondy and produced by Mike Peden.”

* “The track was released on 13 October 2003 in the United Kingdom by 19 Recordings and Universal Records as the second single from Free Me.” > “The track was released on 13 October 2003 in the United Kingdom by 19 Recordings and Universal Records as the album’s second single.”

• “"Maybe" is a bubblegum pop song which was inspired by German pornographic films from the 1970s decade; influences of several genres such as bossa nova and French music were also noted into its composition.” > “"Maybe" is a bubblegum pop song with influences from bossa nova and French music.” It looks like only one source in the article directly references the German pornographic inspiration. Is it significant enough to be in the lede?

Done Alex ^{reach me!} 19:04, 27 September 2023 (UTC)

• • "with influences of from bossa nova and French music were also noted into its composition." - This is grammatically incorrect, can you edit this?

Done Alex ^{reach me!} 19:04, 27 September 2023 (UTC)

* “"Maybe" received positive reviews from music critics, with some of them highlighting its "infectious" chorus, while others felt it had an Austin Powers feel.” > “Music critics praised its chorus and composition, with some comparing its tone to Austin Powers.”

• “An accompanying music video was directed by Harvey & Carolyn, and was inspired by the "Rich Man's Frug" scene from the film Sweet Charity (1969). It features Bunton accompanied by her dancers while dancing in several colorful backdrops.” > “A music video for the song directed by Harvey & Carolyn was released in September 2003. It features Bunton accompanied by her dancers while dancing in several colorful backdrops, and was inspired by the "Rich Man's Frug" scene from the film Sweet Charity (1969).” Also is there any more information about who Harvey & Carolyn are? A director duo?

It was very difficult to find another source for the directors, I only managed to find their websites to correctly reference this info. Alex ^{reach me!} 19:04, 27 September 2023 (UTC)

• “"Maybe" was performed live on several televised shows and events at the time of its release, while being sung by Bunton in several concerts.” - This probably doesn’t need to be in the lede unless some of the live performances in and of themselves. BuySomeApples (talk) 06:39, 7 September 2023 (UTC)

What do you mean? Alex ^{reach me!} 22:58, 21 September 2023 (UTC)

Sorry, I missed a word. I meant that it's unclear if the fact that it was performed live is important enough to be mentioned in the lede. BuySomeApples (talk) 01:01, 22 September 2023 (UTC)

I do think it has enough importance since it has a whole section dedicated to the live performances Alex ^{reach me!} 19:04, 27 September 2023 (UTC)

• "missed chances and self-deception" - this is a direct quote from the source used in the bottom of the article, it either has to be in quotes and cited, or paraphrased. BuySomeApples (talk) 01:01, 22 September 2023 (UTC)

Done Alex ^{reach me!} 19:04, 27 September 2023 (UTC)

Background and composition

“"Maybe" is a bubblegum pop song which was inspired by German pornographic films from the 1970s decade.” - Might be good to specify that it was inspired by the soundtracks of these films, it’s an interesting detail about the sonic composition of the album.

• “"Maybe" was then selected as its follow-up, being released on 13 October 2003 in the United Kingdom, through 19 Recordings and Universal Records; it was later issued on 14 July 2004 in Germany, while being available on 16 August in Australia. In the United States, remixes of the song were serviced to club DJs in early 2005." - This should be moved down into a “Release” section.

I think a new section would be too small, so I renamed the existing section to "Background and release" and moved the infos about composition into a new section. Alex ^{reach me!} 22:58, 21 September 2023 (UTC)

* “It was recorded at Sarm West Studios in London by Martin Hayles; Paul Turner handled the bass, with live drums being played by Charlie Russell, who also did the programming. Peter Gordeno played keyboards, while Graham Kearns was in charge of playing the guitar. Nick Ingman did the orchestra arrangement and conducting, with Isobel Griffiths Ltd being the orchestra contractor for the track. The mixing of "Maybe" was done by Mark "Spike" Stent, while Richard Dowling mastered it at Transfermation studios in London.” > “It was recorded at Sarm West Studios in London by Martin Hayles. Musicians on the track include Paul Turner, who played the bass; Charlie Russell, who played live drums and did the programming; Peter Gordeno, who played the keyboards; and Graham Kearns who played the guitar. Nick Ingman did the orchestra arrangement and conducting, with Isobel Griffiths Ltd being the orchestra contractor for the track. The song was mixed by Mark "Spike" Stent, and mastered at Transfermation studios in London by Richard Dowling.”

* “"Maybe" is a bubblegum pop song which was inspired by German pornographic films from the 1970s decade.” - Is there more information about this? Did German pornographic films feature bubblegum pop in their soundtracks? It would be nice to elaborate on this and/or break it out into a separate sentence if it didn’t directly impact the choice of genre.

• “O'Brien and a reviewer from BBC Music also observed the influence of French music into its composition.” - Change to “on its composition”.

Done Alex ^{reach me!} 19:04, 27 September 2023 (UTC)

Regarding the arrangement and instruments on the song, can we use slightly fewer quotes and more paraphrasing?

Done Alex ^{reach me!} 19:04, 27 September 2023 (UTC)

Critical reception

This section looks pretty good but we might trim it a little bit. I suggest removing Yahoo! Music and this line:

“Both IGN's Spence D. and Blender's Andrew Harrison also recommended it for download.”

What's specifically wrong about the Yahoo quote? Alex ^{reach me!} 22:58, 21 September 2023 (UTC)

The Yahoo Music link doesn't necessarily have to go, but the section included an exhaustive number of quotes. Since Yahoo isn't the best source in the section, it's one candidate for removal. I can see you did trim this already, so I'll leave the specifics to your discretion. BuySomeApples (talk) 01:01, 22 September 2023 (UTC)

Done Alex ^{reach me!} 19:04, 27 September 2023 (UTC)

Music video

• Is there any more information about who Harvey & Carolyn are? A director duo? Similarly Nessa and Dean, it’s not clear if these are stagenames or just the last names of the people.

I didn't find info on Nessa and Dean, that's how they're referred to in the source. Alex ^{reach me!} 22:58, 21 September 2023 (UTC)

* “According to Bunton, the video "really brought that song to life."” - On its own, this quote doesn’t do much for the article.

* “Choreographer Jason Gardiner also appeared in the clip as one of the dancers, which were 20 in total.” > “Choreographer Jason Gardiner also appeared as one of the 20 dancers in the video.”

• “It starts with Bunton entering a white hall; she is wearing a white hooded trench coat, which she then removes to reveal a black dress with a pink collar and cuffs. Throughout the clip, the singer executes a choreography with her dancers behind white, green and pink backdrops.” - Is there meant to be a source at the end of this paragraph?

It's not as per MOS:FILMPLOT Alex ^{reach me!} 22:58, 21 September 2023 (UTC)

Live performances

* “although Bunton had five songs that charted higher than "Maybe" in the United Kingdom.” > “although "Maybe" was only Bunton’s sixth highest charting song in the United Kingdom” - Because Earwig is picking it up as close paraphrasing of this article. https://www.billboard.com/music/pop/the-spice-girls-20-best-solo-singles-ranked-8475079/

Let me know once you get a chance to look at these notes, but no rush because I know you're on a wikibreak. BuySomeApples (talk) 01:37, 8 September 2023 (UTC)

@BuySomeApples: Hello, sorry for taking this long. I have addressed most of the issues, take a look above. Alex ^{reach me!} 22:58, 21 September 2023 (UTC)

Don't worry about it! I'm gonna take another pass at the article but I crossed off most of the completed changes. BuySomeApples (talk) 01:01, 22 September 2023 (UTC)

@BuySomeApples: I have addressed the remaining issues, please take a look! Alex ^{reach me!} 19:04, 27 September 2023 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.