Talk:McLaren MCL60/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Nominator: 5225C (talk · contribs) 11:24, 27 November 2023 (UTC)

Reviewer: 750h+ (talk · contribs) 00:01, 19 July 2024 (UTC)

I'll review this. 750h+ 00:01, 19 July 2024 (UTC)

• @750h+: Are you still happy to review this one? 5225_C (talk • contributions) 07:28, 28 July 2024 (UTC)

  Oops, sorry i'll get to this soon 750h+ 07:28, 28 July 2024 (UTC)

  • No stress, thanks! 5225_C (talk • contributions) 07:40, 28 July 2024 (UTC)

prose

lead

• took over development of the MCL60 ==> "took over the development of the MCL60"
  •  Done 5225_C (talk • contributions) 08:44, 28 July 2024 (UTC)
• the fourth round of the season ==> "the fourth season round"
  •  Not done That would be grammatically incorrect and would imply there are other, non-season rounds. 5225_C (talk • contributions) 08:44, 28 July 2024 (UTC)
• not seen in modern Formula One, and appeared to influence the development programs of several other teams. remove the comma
  •  Done 5225_C (talk • contributions) 08:44, 28 July 2024 (UTC)

background

• to be used at launch, and it was delayed for introduction remove the comma
  •  Done 5225_C (talk • contributions) 08:44, 28 July 2024 (UTC)
• departed in mid December 2022 add a hyphen between "mid" and "December"
  •  Done 5225_C (talk • contributions) 08:44, 28 July 2024 (UTC)
• At its launch, the car was considered an evolution of its predecessor – which had itself undergone heavy development during the 2022 season. replace the hyphen with a comma
  •  Done 5225_C (talk • contributions) 08:44, 28 July 2024 (UTC)
• He said certain undesirable ==> "He said that certain undesirable"
  •  Done 5225_C (talk • contributions) 08:44, 28 July 2024 (UTC)
• scheme developed by Seamless Digital utilising e-ink displays ==> "scheme developed by Seamless Digital using e-ink displays" (best to use simpler and more understandable words)
  •  Done, and interesting essay, I will be getting myself a copy. 5225_C (talk • contributions) 08:44, 28 July 2024 (UTC)
• was named "Stealth Mode" by McLaren, and was run in remove the comma
  •  Done 5225_C (talk • contributions) 08:44, 28 July 2024 (UTC)
• collaboration with Vuse featured the artwork of an emerging local artist, in this case Nujood Al-Otaibi remove "in this case" (unless there's a good reason to have it there)
  •  Not done Need to clarify that it's not the same artist every year, although open to suggestions of other ways to do this. 5225_C (talk • contributions) 08:44, 28 July 2024 (UTC)

competition and development history

• In a chaotic race interrupted by multiple incidents, Norris finished seventh and Piastri ninth, and both were promoted a place by penalties for Carlos Sainz Jr. ==> "In a chaotic race interrupted by multiple incidents, Norris finished seventh and Piastri ninth. Both were promoted a place by penalties for Carlos Sainz Jr."
  •  Done 5225_C (talk • contributions) 07:07, 1 August 2024 (UTC)
• featured a revised tunnel inlet in order to comply ==> "featured a revised tunnel inlet to comply"
  •  Done 5225_C (talk • contributions) 07:07, 1 August 2024 (UTC)
• In the subsection "Opening rounds and Azerbaijani upgrades", the last sentence of many paragraphs are unsupported. They need to be supported by a citation. Can they be added?
  • @5225C: this needs to be addressed. 750h+ 09:15, 1 August 2024 (UTC)
    • Absolutely, just don't have the time for it this afternoon. 5225_C (talk • contributions) 09:18, 1 August 2024 (UTC)

      Continuing with review (5225C could this be addressed)? 750h+ 10:49, 5 August 2024 (UTC)

      • On it now. 5225_C (talk • contributions) 08:01, 6 August 2024 (UTC)
      •  Done 5225_C (talk • contributions) 08:38, 6 August 2024 (UTC)

        still one in the last sentence of the third paragraph of the "Austrian–British upgrades and turnaround in form" section, last sentence of first paragraph of "Remaining European rounds" section, and last sentence of third paragraph in "Remaining European rounds" section. After these are addressed i'd be happy to pass for GA status 750h+ 08:41, 6 August 2024 (UTC)

        •  Done (or at least I think so...) 5225_C (talk • contributions) 09:12, 6 August 2024 (UTC)

• Piastri finished the race fifteenth, and Norris finished seventeenth. remove the comma
  •  Done 5225_C (talk • contributions) 07:07, 1 August 2024 (UTC)
• ninth, and both were promoted a place remove the comma
  • Is this a duplicate? Appears redundant to the point above. 5225_C (talk • contributions) 07:07, 1 August 2024 (UTC)
• it featured an entirely new floor, and a circuit-specific beam wing remove the comma
  •  Done 5225_C (talk • contributions) 07:07, 1 August 2024 (UTC)
• changes to the sidepods, bodywork, and floor for last comma is unnecessary
  •  Not done per WP:OCOMMA and WP:Oxford comma, Wikipedia has no preference between the two styles, but requests that the chosen style be used consistently within an article. 5225_C (talk • contributions) 07:07, 1 August 2024 (UTC)
• against the Mercedes-AMG F1 W14 E Performance which was fitted with add a comma before "which"
  •  Done 5225_C (talk • contributions) 07:07, 1 August 2024 (UTC)
• Grand Prix, in an effort to avoid the issue encountered ==> "Grand Prix to avoid the issue encountered"
  •  Not done The car still struggled with drag, so it should be made clear that that was the goal, not necessarily the outcome. Happy to re-word or expand to make this clearer. 5225_C (talk • contributions) 07:07, 1 August 2024 (UTC)
• In the sprint shootout, Norris qualified and finish fourth I think it should be "finished fourth", not "finish fourth"
  •  Done 5225_C (talk • contributions) 07:07, 1 August 2024 (UTC)

assessment and characteristics

• low-grip surfaces, when remove comma (BrEng)
  •  Done 5225_C (talk • contributions) 08:01, 6 August 2024 (UTC)
• and in high-speed corners, but noted remove the comma (BrEng)
  •  Done 5225_C (talk • contributions) 08:01, 6 August 2024 (UTC)
• However, the upgrades never would recommend replacing "upgrades", as it's repeated in the previous sentence.
  •  Done, but changed the first instance rather than the second. 5225_C (talk • contributions) 08:01, 6 August 2024 (UTC)

verdict

• apologies for this review, i've been pretty slow with it. placing on hold. 750h+ 10:53, 5 August 2024 (UTC)
  • All good, thanks for taking it on! It took months to get a reviewer so a couple weeks to do the review is no big deal. 5225_C (talk • contributions) 08:01, 6 August 2024 (UTC)

    Better. Passing. 750h+ 09:23, 6 August 2024 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.