Talk:Melodrama (Lorde album)/GA1

GA Review

Latest comment: 6 years ago7 comments3 people in discussion

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Cartoon network freak (talk · contribs) 14:15, 17 March 2018 (UTC)Reply

I just need to review this! Congratulations on the work you've done here. Cartoon network freak (talk) 14:15, 17 March 2018 (UTC)Reply

I am honestly quite shocked that several people were anticipating a makeover of this page. Just submitted this for review yesterday and there have been albums awaiting reviews since mid-2017. That's crazy. This was a work in process for over 2 months. So glad I was able to finish it. De88 (talk) 20:49, 17 March 2018 (UTC)Reply

Cartoon network freak do you still plan on reviewing this nomination? If so, I'd give some notice on when the nominator can expect comments to come in. Snuggums (talk / edits) 03:19, 31 March 2018 (UTC)Reply

@SNUGGUMS: I will review it next week, as I'll have some more time to myself. In response to your question, yes, I still plan to do that. Also, what do you mean by "I'd give some notice on when the nominator can expect comments to come in"? Maybe I'm just dumb, but I didn't understand that lol...

Best regards, Cartoon network freak (talk) 07:37, 31 March 2018 (UTC)Reply

You just did give notice by saying next week you'd review the article :P Snuggums (talk / edits) 11:54, 31 March 2018 (UTC)Reply

Lead

You don't need to link "studio album" as it's a pretty common term
New Zealand singer Lorde. It was released → Combine these two clipped sentences to "New Zealand singer Lorde, released..."
and her native country of New Zealand → we already know NZ is her native country from the first sentence; remove "of New Zealand"
longtime boyfriend James Lowe in 2015 → you need a ref at the end of this sentence, as it contains a quote
piano instrumentals → piano instrumentation
Link "electronic" to Electronic dance music
Link "critics" to Music journalism
the singer published the location of three mysterious installations that would reveal her lead single, "Green Light". It was followed by two other singles: "Perfect Places" and a remix of "Homemade Dynamite" → the installations info is quite irrelevant for the lead; short out to: "the singer released its lead single, "Green Light", followed by two other singles: "Perfect Places" and a remix of "Homemade Dynamite"."
A short sentence about the singles' commercial performance would be nice
on the Billboard 200 with 109,000 album-equivalent units. → add "units, and topped the charts in three other markets" to have a global view over the album's commercial performance
Can you tell us in a short sentence what certifications the album was awarded?
by many publications → I would say "several" is more encyclopedic

Infobox

The image needs alterntive text
Otherwise, all seems to be on point ;)

Background and recording

The "pictured" in the thumbnail photo needs to be in italics
The following year, Lorde said that her second studio album was in its early stages and that, → The following year, the singer saidher debut album. She stated that it was in its early stages and that
Link "debut album" to Pure Heroine
her debut album. She stated → connect those two sentences to "her debut album; she stated"
Later that year, Lionsgate Entertainment announced that Lorde would curate the soundtrack for the third installment of The Hunger Games franchise.[3] Subsequently, the singer released the film's lead single, "Yellow Flicker Beat" on 29 September 2014. The soundtrack was met with positive reviews from critics who praised Lorde for capturing the film's aesthetic and overall dystopian mood
Later that year, Lionsgate Entertainment announced that Lorde would curate the soundtrack for the third installment of The Hunger Games franchise.[3] Subsequently, the singer released the film's lead single, "Yellow Flicker Beat" on 29 September 2014. The soundtrack was met with positive reviews from critics who praised Lorde for capturing the film's aesthetic and overall dystopian mood → the wide information on the soundtrack is not relevant here, so we need to short all out to: "Later in 2014, Lionsgate Entertainment announced that Lorde would curate the soundtrack for the third installment of The Hunger Games franchise, followed by the release of the film's lead single, "Yellow Flicker Beat" to critical acclaim.[3]"
Unlink "Pure Heroine"
he wrote some songs → I would say "he wrote a few songs" is more encyclopedic
as an executive producer. His reasoning for this was that Lorde was "trying to → as an executive producer, attributing this to Lorde "trying to
She was featured → The singer was eventually featured
She confirmed the → Replace "she" with "The singer" for clarification
to see what happened afterwards → to see the reactions
The singer was selected → The singer was eventually selected (for better flow)
Link Instagram
completed the writing process of the album → completed the writing process of Melodrama
In November 2016, Lorde posted a Facebook update stating that she wrote Pure Heroine as her way of "enshrining our teenage glory, putting it up in lights forever so that part of [herself] never dies". She also mentioned that this record is about what comes next, concluding with saying, "The party is about to start. I am about to show you the new world."[12] → This isn't relevant to this article and needs to be removed
Lorde revealed the title of the album on 2 March 2017.[13] → The singer revealed its title on 2 March 2017.[13]
It was released → Melodrama was released

Writing and production

of writing Melodrama → of writing content for Melodrama
In her view, the past two years → you need to somehow mention which years she's talking about to
while in America → while in the United States
Going back to New Zealand → Travelling back to New Zealand
The album is about → Melodrama is lyrically about
that Melodrama is not simply a breakup album" → you're missing a quotation mark
It features → it features
both the good and bad parts and deals with themes of → both the favorable and unfavorable aspects associated with
stating that she prefers to "hear a story about the breakdown of a marriage" than Google about it. She loves when an artist exhibits mystery.[21] → This is irrelevant and should be removed
Connect the second and the third paragraph
which found her feeling a range of concentrated emotions → which found her experiencing a wide range of emotions
She also drew comparisons between this album → The singer further drew comparisons between the album
Lorde admitted that she realized she had → According to Lorde, she had to deal with
where she spent a lot of time → where she spent several time
orking with Jack Antonoff helped her open up about how she was feeling → orking with Antonoff helped her open up about how her inner situation
When writing the album → When writing content for the album
Links "demos" to Demo (music)
called the Flame → this is hell irrelevant and shuld be removed
Columbus Circle called the Flame. She spent about four months doing this to understand how the music would sound in everyday life → Columbus Circle; she proceded similarly for about four months to understand how the music would sound in everyday life
She took inspiration → The singer took inspiration (alternation)
They also came through in the form of a tableau → I don't know what you mean here...
usually blasted Top 40 radio → played top 40 radio material
that she remove her headphones → hat she removed her headphones
She would also travel by helicopter to a rental house she owned at Waiheke, a remote island in her native country of New Zealand.[20] In her home, she had a wall of notes for her songs, which she used to "skim the whole album → When at a rental house she owned in Waiheke, a remote island in her native country of New Zealand,[20] Lorde had a wall of notes for her songs, which she used to "skim the whole album
Please remove the thumbnail phot as it does not add anything to this section. Also, her rental house isn't that important here to have a picture for it.

Artwork

Link "Brooklyn"
an email after receiving it → it is not clear what you mean by "it"
note about her love → note about her admirance
and discuss their collaboration → and discuss on their collaboration
They held a lot in common, stating that he found it fun to see where they saw "eye to eye on creativity and mood and color". He also expressed that at the time, both of them were going through "intense creative experiences". McKinniss was working on a solo exhibition called Egyptian Violet for about half a year. He stated that he caught her in a "very special time" as he was in a "really productive zone" when working on his art. → I'm sorry, but this has less to do with the album, so please remove it
In his gallery, Lorde took a liking to a full figure portrait of Prince's Purple Rain as well as a painting of Lil' Kim; She wanted him → In his gallery, the singer took a liking to a full figure portrait of Prince's Purple Rain as well as a painting of Lil' Kim, with her wanting McKinniss
Purple Rain needs to be linked
Connect the first and second paragraphs to one
and a space with many windows → and a space with several windows
couple hours → couple of hours
He mentioned that he does not like have models or assistants around so he had to capture the perfect photograph for the painting → This can be removed
According to him → According to McKinniss
of two like minds → why do you use "like" here?
McKinniss recalls that she told him, "I want → He recalls that Lorde told him: "I want
The pair thought about making the shoot more "operatic"—pre-Raphaelite but decided not as Lorde's facial emotions in the photograph gave the pair what they needed → The parir thought about making the painting's photograph shoot more "operatic" and pre-Raphaelite-inspired, but scrapped the idea after being satisfied with Lorde's facial expressions on the result.
He made two versions of the photographs he took; One features → McKinniss made two versions of the photographs he took; one featured
cheek while he other → cheek, while the other
of the greatest album art → of the best album artworks
Paste ranked at number 11 → Paste ranked it at number 11
album covers and also appeared → album covers, and it also appeared

Music and lyrics

Lorde's vocals on this recorded → Lorde's vocals on Melodrama
What is "layered delivery"?
Her vocals on this album range → Her vocals on the record range
rom the "strong, composed young woman" and the hidden "psycho" → rom the "strong, composed young woman" to the hidden "psycho"
The pair met in early 2014 at a Grammy after-party. She was struck by Antonoff's eccentric personality after he brought her a can of pineapple juice. They later had several "exploratory" writing sessions → The juice story is irrelevant; short everything up to "The pair had several "exploratory" writing sessions..."
ultimately taking him as her main co-writer → with Lorde ultimately hiring him as the main co-writer
worked on the album in Antonoff's → worked on Melodrama in Antonoff's
Link New York City
hip-hop influences on her debut record → hip-hop influences on Lorde's debut studio album
described by critics as a pop → Link "critics" to Music journalism
The singer believed in the "transcendent nature" that partying can bring. The intense → connect to: "The singer believed in the "transcendent nature" that partying can bring, with the intense..."
helped to form → helping to form
generation'; According to her → generation'; according to her
as opposed to the first record's → as opposed to Pure Heroine's
She wanted to hold some contrast → Lorde wanted to showcase a contrast
"personal" events and headlines and the web → "personal" events, headlines and themes associated with the web
the latter speaks about enlightenment after love is lost → "the latter" would mean Miley Cyrus, which is wrong here
which continues Lorde's incorporation → which continues her incorporation
Lorde also cites Don Henley, Tom Petty, Phil Collins and Joni Mitchell as inspirations → you should add the info from the photo here: "Lorde also cites Don Henley, Tom Petty, Phil Collins and Joni Mitchell, as well as the deaths of David Bowie and Prince, as inspirations.[29][30][48]
Thumbnail > attribute who is left and who is right

Songs

titular metaphors with reviewers → comma before "with"
Lorde was inspired to write the song → replace "song" with "track" here to avoid repetition
She wrote the lyrics to the song in a period of 18 months → connect this with the Florence and the Machine sentence: "a Florence and the Machine concert with Antonoff → a Florence and the Machine concert with Antonoff; the process took her 18 months.
Link "Homemade Dynamite" and "Sober"
"Sober" was written after she played → replace "she" with "Lorde"
Link Coachella
which was formed using a bongo drum → what used a bongo drum; the show or her song?
a bongo drum; She further tested out a tenor and baritone saxophone as well as the trumpet → are these instruments featured on the song? If so, then rewrite the sentence to: "a bongo drum. The track's instrumentation includes a tenor and baritone saxophone, as well as a trumpet."
was looking through song samples → leave "song" out and link "samples" to Sampling (music)
the only song Antonoff is not credited as songwriter → the only song Antonoff is not credited on as songwriter
as taking "traditional song structures" and throwing them underwater → ??
instrumentation in songs has become more flexible → this is very unencyclopedic
singer's "cadence" on certain lines → remove the quote marks, change "on" to "in", and link "cadence" to Cadence (music)
which helped blur the genre lines even further → It's not clear what you mean here
Link "Liability"
as one could sing a Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young or a Don Henley song over them → as similar to the works of Crosby...
were sampled from a documentary she watched → replace "she" with "Lorde" for clarification
used as the transition instrument for "Loveless" → what transition and what does it transition to? Is this song a two-piece one? If so, you need to explain this to the reader
Simon’s music → Who is Simon?
"The Heart of the Matter" → specify that this is a novel and put it in italics
She also compared the message of the song with Henley's song, as both → She also likened its message to Henley's work, as both
In her words, there is a "sadness" when the lights come on after a party as you are used to seeing the walls washed in dark which makes it heartbreaking → This is very unencyclopedic and it isn't really clear what you want to say
I'm afraid I will stop my review here

Release and promotion

Singles

Reception

Accolades

Grammy Awards

Track listing

Instead of just "Melodrama", I would add " – Standard version" to the header

Personnel

Please unlink Lorde; otherwise flawless...

Charts

Flawless ;)

Certifications and sales

Please remove the South Korean sales. I know they are reliable, but the fact that they are only based on only one charting week and are so low makes them prety irrelevant.

Release history

We need such a section here...

Outcome

@De88: Hi there and sorry for my late review. First of all I must say that I really respect you for the hard work you put on Lorde articles, including this one. As much as I would've wanted to promote this to GA eventually, I just see there are too many grammatical issues and occasionally irrelevant information in the sections that I have reviewed. Also, I have noticed that your writing style is often very informal, but you have to be more formal here on Wikipedia. With that being said, I sadly have to fail this, as I think there are too many problems to be solved in one week. However, please DON'T feel discouraged! I suggest you to take this to WP:GOCE/REQ and renominate eventually if you feel like all concerns have been adressed. Best regards to all; Cartoon network freak (talk) 21:42, 4 April 2018 (UTC)Reply

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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