Talk:Michèle Mouton/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Resolute (talk · contribs) 01:19, 16 December 2011 (UTC)

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars, etc.:

6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

7. Overall:

   Pass/Fail:

General

• Images good
• NPOV good
• Sources look good
• Spotcheck reveals no issue with close paraphrasing.

Early life and career

• Given you use "WRC" later in the article, define what it stands for: "Mouton later co-drove for him in the 1973 Monte Carlo Rally, the first-ever World Rally Championship (WRC) event."
• "Her car passing the WRC scrutineering shot down the rumour that her good performances had resulted from a special engine." - It took me a few seconds to figure out this passage. It debunks a rumour that was not yet introduced and uses mixed tense. I might suggest reversing the sentence: "It was rumoured her good performances were the result of a special engine, however her car passed inspection by WRC scrutineers."
• "For the second year in a row, Mouton captured the French and European ladies' titles." - This surprised me, as you made no mention of her winning her first titles.

Fiat

• "In 1979, Mouton finished second in the French Rally Championship, behind Porsche 911 SC driver Bernard Béguin." - Needs a citation

Audi 1980

• "As the Audi Quattro, the first rally car to have over 300 bhp and both a turbocharger and four-wheel-drive..." - I do not know what "bph" indicates. Can you link the abbreviation to a relevant article?
• I also now realize that the acronym "FIA" is never explained either. On first use, please link as "Fédération Internationale de l'Automobile (FIA)"

Audi 1981

• "She recorded a few top-ten stage times and finished a satisfactory 13th." - Satisfactory according to who? It seems a weasel word in this case.

Peugeot

• "Nicknamed "der schwarze Vulkan" (The Black Volcano) due to her temperament and long black hair..." - I have no idea who this is referring to. I presume Mouton, but since you talked about two other people in the preceding sentence, specify who this nickname was attributed to.
• "During the next day, Toivonen and his co-driver Sergio Cresto crashed out from the lead and died." - Did both drivers die, or just Toivonen? This passage indicates both, but subsequent statements suggest Toivonen alone. Please clarify.

Overall

I have to admit, the article is a little boring for me as much of it appears to be "She did this. Then she did this. Then she did this." Technically, however, it is well written, and certainly comprehensive based on a quick check of sources. Only a few minor issues identified above, so I am placing this on hold. Regards, Resolute 01:19, 16 December 2011 (UTC)

I'm not really sure how to combat the boring prose, but I have made changes to address the other concerns:

• "WRC" clarified, suggested sentence order implemented, and ladies' titles first mentioned in a more appropriate location
• Citation provided for French championship runner-up position
• Wikilink provided for bhp, and "FIA" clarified
• "Satisfactory" de-weaseled: "...and finished 13th. She was satisfied with her performance, and the local newspaper Keskisuomalainen described her debut as successful."
• Nickname clarified ("Mouton, nicknamed...") and the Tour de Corse accident slightly clarified ("...and died in their seats.") The other references to the accident are about the founding of the Race of Champions. According to the source I used, the event was held in memory of only Toivonen, so I'm not sure if further clarifications are possible (or necessary).

Thanks for the review. Prolog (talk) 21:21, 18 December 2011 (UTC)

And looks good. I am happy to pass this as a GA. Congrats, Resolute 15:15, 19 December 2011 (UTC)