Talk:Michael F. Adams/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Nominator: PCN02WPS (talk · contribs) 01:04, 27 August 2024 (UTC)

Reviewer: It is a wonderful world (talk · contribs) 23:16, 24 September 2024 (UTC)

Criteria

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable, as shown by a source spot-check.

   a (reference section): b (inline citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars, etc.:

6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free content have non-free use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

7. Overall:

   Pass/Fail:

Comments

Lead

He began his career as a staffer for Senate minority leader Howard Baker, including as Baker's chief of staff: "later becoming" is more specific that "including"

• Went even more specific and changed to "including three years as Baker's chief of staff". PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 21:31, 8 October 2024 (UTC)

from the accounting firm Deloitte & Touche: Unnecessary detail for the lead

• Removed. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 21:31, 8 October 2024 (UTC)

His disagreement with, and subsequent refusal to extend the contract of, longtime athletic director Vince Dooley was unpopular among many: The comma after "of" is unnecessary and breaks the flow of the sentence.

• I intended the phrase between the commas to be a non-restrictive appositive, which is set off by commas on both sides. If I'm wrong about that from a grammatical standpoint, I welcome correction. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 21:31, 8 October 2024 (UTC)

Thank you for teaching me something new about grammar! I hadn't heard that term before. I am fine with it staying, but would like to clarify one thing.

When you remove non-restrictive appositives, it shouldn't change the meaning of the sentence, but I feel like in this case, the "subsequent refusal to extend the contract of" is a big deal and changes the meaning of the sentence. It is a wonderful world (talk) 13:28, 9 October 2024 (UTC)

That's a fair point, I decided to restructure the sentence to eliminate the problem. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 14:56, 9 October 2024 (UTC)

Early life and education

Afterwards, he earned a Master of Arts in communication research methodologies and a Doctorate in communications: "Afterwards" should be "afterward" in American English.

• Never realized that was a BrEng vs. AmEng issue, I think I've just been using them interchangeably. Thanks for the information, fixed. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 22:09, 8 October 2024 (UTC)

No worries, I had no idea either until it had a red squiggly line in my BrEng word processor one day. It is a wonderful world (talk) 13:08, 9 October 2024 (UTC)

Political work and Pepperdine, 1974–1988

Adams was the Republican nominee for Congress in Tennessee's 5th congressional district but lost the general election to the incumbent Democratic representative Bill Boner: Could do with a comma to separate the clauses, between "district" and "but".

• The clause starting with "but" is dependent ("But lost the general election to the incumbent..." isn't a complete sentence on its own since the subject is absent), so a comma would be incorrect. (WP:CINS) PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 22:09, 8 October 2024 (UTC)

Learned something new again, thank you. It is a wonderful world (talk) 13:31, 9 October 2024 (UTC)

Adams left Alexander's staff to accept a position as the vice president for university affairs at Pepperdine University. He was also a member of the Pepperdine faculty as a professor of political communication.: It's unclear if he held this position before leaving Alexander's staff, or whether he acquired this position at the same time as becoming vice president of affairs.

• It was at the same time, I have clarified this. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 22:09, 8 October 2024 (UTC)

Centre College, 1988–1997

Old Centre, the Carnegie Library, Horky House, and Combs Warehouse, underwent renovation and improvement during his tenure: Carnegie Library (Danville, Kentucky) can be wikilinked, "renovation and improvement" can be simplified to "renovation" for conciseness, and the comma after Combs Warehouse is unneeded.

• Done all as recommended. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 22:09, 8 October 2024 (UTC)

Greek Row was established, with fraternities receiving newly built houses in 1995 and sororities receiving separate chapter houses for the first time since appearing on campus for the first time in 1980 the year prior: Not sure what's going on here!

• Wow, that's an ugly sentence. I had to re-read it a few times to figure it out - I suspect I wrote that and then came back and added to it (I hope at least). Fixed so it is now intelligible. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 22:09, 8 October 2024 (UTC)

Looks good now It is a wonderful world (talk) 13:34, 9 October 2024 (UTC)

The former fraternity houses were converted into new dormitory buildings, named for Centre alumni and important figures: It is unclear whether they were just named after them, or built for them to inhabit. If they were just named after them, "named after" is much more common terminology than "named for".

• The dormitory buildings were for students to live in. While I suppose it's not unheard of for non-students to live in dorms, I think the default for readers is that students lived in the college dorms, especially considering three of the four people I list as being namesakes for the buildings were dead by the time Adams' term at Centre started (and the fourth died three years in). I changed "for" to "after". PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 22:09, 8 October 2024 (UTC)

I should have used my brain more when reading this! I do think changing "for" to "after" is better though. It is a wonderful world (talk) 13:35, 9 October 2024 (UTC)

Centre had received multiple large research initiative grants from the Howard Hughes Medical Institute and the National Science Foundation: "Centre had received" can be "Center received". "Had received" would be used to emphasize that an action occurred before another past event.

• Changed. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 22:09, 8 October 2024 (UTC)

and outraised a $60 million goal as part of their Front and Centre fundraising campaign: Front and Center should be in quotes.

• From what I can see, the college did not use quotes when referring to the campaign (nor did they for similar fundraisers, like Tom Spragens's Fund for the Future and John Roush's A More Perfect Centre (which I put in italics) - is there a rule for how these should be formatted? PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 22:09, 8 October 2024 (UTC)

No rule that I am aware of, I just felt like it should be (I should have been clearer that it was just my intuition). I agree it is better to stick to the formatting of the source.

When I wrote this review I accidentally deleted about 70% of it when I was about to publish it. I clicked backspace twice when not focused on the editing window, and lost the edit. Hence, I was pretty frustrated when typing everything out again, which might be why my tone is a bit off. It is a wonderful world (talk) 13:41, 9 October 2024 (UTC)

The John C. Young Honors Program, named in honor of Centre's fourth president John C. Young, which provided a group of seniors with support in a research project, was established in 1989: I assume this program was established for the primary purpose of a supporting the research project, rather than it just being one of the several purposes. If that is the case and the source supports it, reorganising the sentence to something like "The John C. Young Honors Program, named in honor of Centre's fourth president John C. Young was established in 1989, to provide support for a group of seniors in a research project" makes this clearer. Also, is there any detail on what this research project is?

• Fixed, though I added "of their choice" to make clear that they're not all working on the same project. The JCY program allows seniors to propose a research project, pairs them with a faculty mentor, provides them access to resources, and allows them to present their projects at the JCY Symposium each spring. The project differs student to student, it's a project of each individual student's choosing and design. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 22:19, 8 October 2024 (UTC)

Ah I see, shouldn't "project" be plural then? It is a wonderful world (talk) 13:46, 9 October 2024 (UTC)

Yeah, switched from "in a research project of their choice" to "in research projects of their choice" and it sounds much better. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 14:56, 9 October 2024 (UTC)

Adams attracted some disdain from the faculty at Centre while there: after he made what were described by faculty members as unilateral changes to the faculty handbook, a move that violated college policy, a selection of faculty began what Rich Whitt described as a "quiet revolt":

• "while there" can be removed for conciseness.
• The colon is improperly used here has it does not introduce a list, explanation or quote. I think it should be replaced with a comma.
• The source does not say that faculty members described them as unilateral changes. It was probably the source itself that summerised the changes as unilateral.
• Attributing to "Rich Whitt" is meaningless if there is no context on who he is.
  • Fixed first two and restructured the sentences. Added qualifier to Whitt and removed the "unilateral" bit from that sentence. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 22:19, 8 October 2024 (UTC)

Looks good :) It is a wonderful world (talk) 13:48, 9 October 2024 (UTC)

These included stints as a vice chair on the National Collegiate Athletic Association Presidents Commission, the Board of the National Association of Independent Colleges and Universities, the Board of the American Council on Education, the Board of the Kentucky Center for Public Issues, Leadership Kentucky, the Executive Council of the Southern Association of Colleges and Schools: The last list item needs an "and" before it.

• Oops, added. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 22:19, 8 October 2024 (UTC)

He helped to reorganize, and was the first president of, the Southern Collegiate Athletic Conference, of which Centre was a member.: The second comma breaks up the sentence flow unnecessarily.

• This is another one of those appositives, "and was the first president of" is intended as a non-restrictive appositive here. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 22:19, 8 October 2024 (UTC)

All good It is a wonderful world (talk) 13:49, 9 October 2024 (UTC)

University of Georgia, 1997–2013

Ultimately, he was selected, and he was announced as UGA's incoming president on June 11, 1997,[3] an announcement that surprised many UGA faculty: "an announcement that" can be replaced with "which".

• Done. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 22:29, 8 October 2024 (UTC)

large flagship universities: "large" can be removed for conciseness.

• Done. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 22:29, 8 October 2024 (UTC)

and took office as UGA's twenty-first president: "21st" is used earlier. Pick a format to remain consistent.

• Changed to "twenty-first" in lead. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 22:29, 8 October 2024 (UTC)

Shortly into his stint at Georgia: Tenure is a better word than "stint", since it relates to educational employment. "Stint" is used a couple times.

• Changed two instances of "stint" - I left the last one because I feel like the word is often used when a person is employed at the same place multiple non-consecutive times. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 22:29, 8 October 2024 (UTC)

Ah, nice to know. It is a wonderful world (talk) 13:50, 9 October 2024 (UTC)

2003–04: "2001-2002" is used earlier. Pick a format to remain consistent throughout the article.

• Fixed. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 22:29, 8 October 2024 (UTC)

Franklin College of Arts and Sciences can be wikilinked

• Added. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 22:29, 8 October 2024 (UTC)

raised more money than it had in its history to that point I think "up to that point" would make this a bit clearer.

• Added. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 22:29, 8 October 2024 (UTC)

Athens can be wikilinked

• Done. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 22:29, 8 October 2024 (UTC)

"Regent's professor" should be Regents' professor and linked to distinguished professor?

• Good catch, fixed and added link. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 22:29, 8 October 2024 (UTC)

Post-presidency, 2013–present, Personal life

Do any sources explicitly state he has retired?

• I didn't see any, but then again I didn't look too hard. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 22:30, 8 October 2024 (UTC)

Sources

[1]: Seems to be down

• Fixed with archived source, good catch. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 22:52, 8 October 2024 (UTC)

[2]: Good

[3]: Good

[4]: Good

[5]: Good

[7]: Good

[8]: Good

[14]: Discussed in comments

[15]: Good

[17]: Supported by page 33, not 34

• Fixed first instance to 33, second instance of that ref was on 34 so kept that. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 22:52, 8 October 2024 (UTC)

[18]: Good

[19]: Good

[20]: The source says Patterson confirmed that Adams was a finalist, also it does not support that Adams was offered a raise.

• Patterson confirmed that he was a finalist but whether or not he was actually offered the job is the matter up for debate. I added the source about the raise. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 22:52, 8 October 2024 (UTC)

[21]: The source does not say they audited especially those for travel, and payments to his wife. Those problematic expenses were discovered during the audit.

• Fixed wording to better reflect what I was trying to say. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 22:52, 8 October 2024 (UTC)

[24] and [25] need to be swapped, some of the information before reference [24] is supported by [25].

• Moved them both to be at the end of the sentence. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 22:52, 8 October 2024 (UTC)

[26]: Good

[27]: The 92.1 figure was projected. The text does not state this.

• Fixed. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 22:52, 8 October 2024 (UTC)

[28]: Source says "about 35,000", text says "nearly 35,000".

• Fixed. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 22:52, 8 October 2024 (UTC)

Images

Licensing looks good, pictures are appropriate and well captioned. I think there should be a picture of the University of Georgia though, perhaps of one of the five colleges he founded?

PCN02WPS (talk · contribs) Pinging you just in case you didn't see the review. It is a wonderful world (talk) 14:03, 5 October 2024 (UTC)

@It is a wonderful world Thanks very much for the through review! Everything has been fixed or responded to, and I will see if I can get a UGA picture or two. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 22:53, 8 October 2024 (UTC)

@PCN02WPS This looks good for GA, there are just a few very minor queries above. It is a wonderful world (talk) 13:54, 9 October 2024 (UTC)

@It is a wonderful world Thanks again! Those have been taken care of. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 14:58, 9 October 2024 (UTC)

Promoting, congratulations on writing a great article! It is a wonderful world (talk) 15:00, 9 October 2024 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.