Talk:Michael Johnson (fighter)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: AaronY (talk) 03:08, 8 December 2010 (UTC)

• I know there may not be any sources on the subject, but is there any info on his life outside of his fighting besides that half sentence about his dad? If so it should be included.
• "Johnson began fighting at the age of 10. After his father's fatal heart attack, Johnson began to take his rage out with his fists.[2]"

• Are these two connected or not? What I mean is right now, it sounds like he started fighting, then his father died later and he got more aggressive.

• "St-Pierre seemingly manipulated Koscheck into picking Marc Stevens due to Koscheck and Stevens' former affiliation, so that St-Pierre could pick Johnson as his first pick. Because of this, Johnson was picked as the second overall pick.[10]"
  • How did he trick him?
• It looks like the info in this article needs to be updated, based on recent events:[1][2] AaronY (talk) 03:08, 8 December 2010 (UTC)
• The source for this sentence:"Amongst Johnson's fights on the local circuit in Missouri was a unanimous decision win over Ramiro Hernandez Jr, in a 150 lb catchweight bout.[5]" Is from before the fight even takes place.
  • Actually checking that first source, there's going to need to be a source check as well. These sentences are too similarly worded:
    • Source:"at age 10 when his father died suddenly of a heart attack, and he took his rage out with his fists."
  • Wikipedia:"at the age of 10. After his father's fatal heart attack, Johnson began to take his rage out with his fists."
    • • I've actually inadvertently worded sentences in a phraseology that's too close to the source before, so it happens sometimes. Just be careful.
      • So, all the sources need to be checked, the questions here need answering, and the new results need to be added. I'm putting this article on hold for now. The article also needs copy-editing. I will do that myself once these issues are addressed. AaronY (talk) 03:40, 8 December 2010 (UTC)

Dealt with these comments now. Thanks for the heads-up on my talk page earlier. Paralympiakos (talk) 23:49, 8 December 2010 (UTC)

Two questions: Did you check all of the sources? And is his new management info not notable for some reason? There are independent sources for this info:[3][4] AaronY (talk) 06:11, 9 December 2010 (UTC)

I'm not sure what you're wanting me to check the sources for? Similarly worded statements, or reliability? As for the links, that's some good searching there. I hadn't come across these articles. However, this sport isn't really all that high on management. We very rarely get to hear about managers, as frankly, they're not that notable. The only notable manager I can think of in recent times was the announcement that MC Hammer was getting into MMA Management. What else would you like me to do with the article then? Thanks. Paralympiakos (talk) 12:31, 9 December 2010 (UTC)

Ah, thats fine about the manager then. I meant that I checked 3 sources and found 2 glaring errors, it leads me to believe there's probably more. So I wanted you to check all the sources to be sure they were fine. Sorry for the late reply. AaronY (talk) 21:01, 14 December 2010 (UTC)

I think we're fine tbh. A lot of the article is my own commentary of the fight that is pretty much backed up by sources; not stuff that is rewritten. I think we're fine for an analysis for GA, but I'll leave it to your judgement. Paralympiakos (talk) 19:58, 17 December 2010 (UTC)

I have rewritten parts of the article and passed it. If you have time see what I did. Strunk & White style rule #13 pruning would be helpful in your writing. See here. Also, here; "with" should be avoided, although it is useful in specific situations, its a poor connector. I'm not a great writer myself by any means, but exercises and rules like those have made me a better one. AaronY (talk) 13:09, 19 December 2010 (UTC)