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Latest comment: 7 years ago2 comments2 people in discussion
Your article is well organized. The most important information is included in the lead and the films are explained thoroughly. After reading the article I feel I have a grasp of de Jong's life and career. I feel there are only minor suggestions I can give you to improve the article. It might be a good idea to change the 'Early Life' headline to 'Education,' because you mention when she's born in your lead paragraph. Under the education section you could add additional information on what 'Onkruit' stands for as a radical group. It says under week 4 that a 'biography' section is mandatory. For this reason it might be a good idea to add in a biography headline and then include 'early life' and 'career' as subheadings. I noticed the capitalization of 'de Jong/De Jong varies in your article. I'm not too sure which one is correct. The career section flows nicely. In the section where you briefly explain each movie, by putting the date of release at the top of each section, it would make the paragraphs look more organized. The same thing could be done with the awards section, by putting the awards in order by the year she received them. Pediaac (talk) 21:21, 7 November 2016 (UTC)Reply
Your article is very well done, and thoroughly explores the films made by de Jong. You do well in explaining the intent in her work, as well as give a very strong explanation of what her films are about. As Pediaac has mentioned above, there are only a few things that I think you will have to alter. I agree with the 'Early Life' to 'Education', but if it is possible, perhaps adding a little more on her success (if she had any) during her schooling would help paint a more vivid picture. I agree that maybe a sentence or two about the radical group would also help add a bit of detail to the woman. The majority of the bigger things that I thought needed edits have already been stated by Pediaac, but there are still a few little things that I noticed. As awkward as it sounds when read, the correct title for the cities would be "Rotterdam, Netherlands" and "Amsterdam, Netherlands". You just need to simply remove the "the" from before each city. You could also rephrase it to make it sound better, example being "She was born on September 23, 1959, in the city of Rotterdam, within the Netherlands." Either way would work. One little thing to consider (you don't even have to change it if you don't want to) is the words you have hyper linked to different wiki pages. The links to different film organizations, cities and nationalities are all fine, but words like "discrimination" or "faith" don't really need one. Everyone knows what those words mean, but it is up to you, I don't mind them, but they may be considered unnecessary by our professor. LoneUniStudent (talk) 23:13, 9 November 2016 (UTC)Reply
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This article is or was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Ditisvoormijnuniversiteit. Peer reviewers: LoneUniStudent, Pediaac.