Talk:Minden Blake/GA1
Latest comment: 4 years ago by Zawed in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Reviewer: Sturmvogel 66 (talk · contribs) 02:48, 17 May 2020 (UTC)
I'll get to this shortly.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 02:48, 17 May 2020 (UTC)
- Images appropriately licensed
- No DABs and external links OK
- even attained championship standard in pole vaulting awkward
- link second class honours and add a hyphen between the first two words
- link biplane, permanent commission, Cornwall, Plymouth, sweep, Cherbourg and geographic names in general, launch, dinghy, RAF College, inspector-general
- He 111 was not a heavy bomber, being twin-engined, but rather a medium bomber
- Tell the reader that Javelin was a destroyer with a link
- German Do 17 bombers mounted an attack on Javelin but Blake shot down one Do 17 and damaged another. Don't use Do 17 twice in close proximity; change the second usage to "bomber"
- Give complete year ranges as per MOS:RANGE
- was attacked by encountered a formation Do I detect a change in mind on wording? ;-)
- Spitfire had received enemy fire passive voice. Suggest "was damaged"
- hyphen for long range, safety belt
- received damage himself more passive voice "was badly damaged"
- You have a bad habit of over-using the year when giving dates. Use them only when it changes or when being extremely formal--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 11:05, 26 May 2020 (UTC)
- Sturmvogel 66, thanks for the review. I think I have actioned everything identified although a little uncertain about the complete year ranges. I see two areas that I think you may be referring to but according to the MOS the first one is acceptable. I changed the second mention. Cheers, Zawed (talk) 10:44, 27 May 2020 (UTC)
- Hey Sturm, just checking you have seen this? Cheers, Zawed (talk) 08:56, 30 May 2020 (UTC)
- I got ya, hoss!
- Hey Sturm, just checking you have seen this? Cheers, Zawed (talk) 08:56, 30 May 2020 (UTC)
- Within days of his arrival, on 21 August, Blake destroyed his first enemy aircraft, a Junkers Ju 88 dive bomber, near Trevose Head. First, the 88 wasn't a real dive bomber like the Stuka, although it could attack in shallow dives. Second, move the date back to the end of the sentence.
- Duplicate link for Bomber Command. Otherwise looks fine.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 14:37, 30 May 2020 (UTC)
- Sturmvogel 66 All done, thanks! Zawed (talk) 01:51, 31 May 2020 (UTC)