Talk:Mormons/GA1
GA Review
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Reviewer: SilkTork (talk · contribs) 14:33, 17 December 2011 (UTC)
initial review
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Tick boxeditGA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria
CommentseditPassedit
Queryedit
Failedit
General commentsedit
Thank you for your thoughtful comments. This is the first article I've contributed to significantly, and I appreciate you setting me straight on a number of these things. I would appreciate it if you would give me some time to fix some of these issues before failing the article. I feel that I can fix some of these fairly quickly over the next couple days (not including the holiday). ~Adjwilley (talk) 02:37, 24 December 2011 (UTC)
HoldeditI'm putting on hold for seven days to allow a response to the queries I've raised. I feel this is an informative article which provides a useful overview of the Mormon people, though I have some questions about the organisation and focus. In particular I wonder if there is too much material on the faith, and not enough on the people themselves, their attitudes, and the attitudes of others toward them. These are queries rather than failings, as the criteria for a Good Article is not as strict as that for a Featured Article, and the article may be listed as a GA with still some room for development or discussion. SilkTork ✔Tea time 18:10, 10 January 2012 (UTC)
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Refresh
editCleaning the blackboard so we can see where we are and what still needs doing (if anything). SilkTork ✔Tea time 13:11, 25 January 2012 (UTC)
Tick box
editGA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria
- Is it reasonably well written?
- Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
- A. References to sources:
- B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:
- C. No original research:
- A. References to sources:
- Is it broad in its coverage?
- A. Major aspects:
- B. Focused:
- A. Major aspects:
- Is it neutral?
- Fair representation without bias:
- Fair representation without bias:
- Is it stable?
- No edit wars, etc:
- No edit wars, etc:
- Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
- A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
- B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
- A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
- Overall:
- Pass or Fail:
- Pass or Fail:
Comments
edit- Focus. As this is about the Mormon people, the amount of history on the Mormon faith is disproportionate and needs trimming back. SilkTork ✔Tea time 13:35, 25 January 2012 (UTC)
- I'm working on trimming the history section, and making it clearer at the same time. Please correct any mistakes or challenge any of my edits. SilkTork ✔Tea time 14:21, 25 January 2012 (UTC)
- The Modern times section of the history is much more Mormon focussed than the earlier history. It is more about the Mormon people, and less about the church - though it does slip into some church material in the last paragraph. SilkTork ✔Tea time 11:36, 28 January 2012 (UTC)
- Thanks. The Modern Times section is one of the pieces I wrote from scratch. I will work on the Beginnings and Pioneer sections again. ~Adjwilley (talk) 06:16, 31 January 2012 (UTC)
- The Modern times section of the history is much more Mormon focussed than the earlier history. It is more about the Mormon people, and less about the church - though it does slip into some church material in the last paragraph. SilkTork ✔Tea time 11:36, 28 January 2012 (UTC)
- I'm working on trimming the history section, and making it clearer at the same time. Please correct any mistakes or challenge any of my edits. SilkTork ✔Tea time 14:21, 25 January 2012 (UTC)
- The term Mormon was "applied pejoratively". Is there a source for this? And if there is, could a more common term be used, such as "applied negatively"? SilkTork ✔Tea time 11:00, 28 January 2012 (UTC)
- I couldn't find a source, so I deleted the pejorative part altogether. If Bushman or O'Dea don't mention it, we're probably ok to leave it out. ~Adjwilley (talk) 06:16, 31 January 2012 (UTC)
- "The city grew rapidly as missionary converts immigrated westward from Europe and elsewhere." Not sure what this means. Can you rephrase? 11:29, 28 January 2012 (UTC)
- Done. ~Adjwilley (talk) 06:16, 31 January 2012 (UTC)
- I'm going through doing some copy-editing with the intention of tidying up so I can pass this on the prose criteria, however I have come upon the statements "endowment and sealing of married couples" and "divided into wards and "stakes"" which contains unexplained terms. Either these terms should be explained at the point where the reader sees them, or they should be avoided, substituting with a more common expression where appropriate. SilkTork ✔Tea time 11:33, 28 January 2012 (UTC)
- I've moved wards and "stakes" later in the article and revised it to read, "The church is divided by locality into congregations called wards with several wards making up a "stake"." How does that sound? ~Adjwilley (talk) 22:35, 31 January 2012 (UTC)
- That is clearer and more helpful. SilkTork ✔Tea time 00:30, 7 February 2012 (UTC)
- I've moved wards and "stakes" later in the article and revised it to read, "The church is divided by locality into congregations called wards with several wards making up a "stake"." How does that sound? ~Adjwilley (talk) 22:35, 31 January 2012 (UTC)
- The more I am looking into this article the more problems I am seeing. Looking at List of sects in the Latter Day Saint movement, I note that little of that information is summarised in this article. I think that Jews is a useful article to compare with this one. It keeps focused on the Jews as a people, limits discussion of church and beliefs to a brief summary, and avoids cultural topics. Aspects of what to put in and what to leave out of an article are always going to be up for debate, and I accept the Beliefs and the Culture sections, and find them useful. I have doubts, though, about the focus of the groups section. I think that perhaps breaking it up into sects proper, and dealing with the main strands of those sects, perhaps as indicated here, separately from social or ethnic groups, might be useful. But grouping Black Mormons as distinct from Gay Mormons as distinct from Fundamentalist Mormons, as distinct from Utah Mormons, is a little unclear - and are Gay Mormons really a group? I understand that there are Mormons who may be gay, but there are also Mormons who are vegetarian, and I wonder if discussion on such matters belongs in the Beliefs section rather than the Groups section as it seems more to belong to the church as a body rather than as the Mormons as a people. SilkTork ✔Tea time 12:24, 28 January 2012 (UTC)
- I've moved the paragraph on LGBT Mormons into the culture section and tied it to the Law of Chastity. I moved Black Mormons to the History section (Modern Times) where the priesthood ban was already mentioned. I also moved the International Mormons to the Modern Times section. The Groups section now deals entirely with the "shades" of Mormonism, leaving out race, ethnicity, orientation, etc. ~Adjwilley (talk) 19:38, 1 February 2012 (UTC)
- Prose is almost OK - borderline; when the jargon terms are dealt with it'll be a pass. SilkTork ✔Tea time 13:12, 28 January 2012 (UTC)
- I've removed or explained the jargon terms you brought up. ~Adjwilley (talk) 19:38, 1 February 2012 (UTC)
- Sources check out, and there is plenty of inline citation. Minor aspects like "applied pejoratively" not being cited are not significant enough for concern, and can be dealt with as part of ongoing development. SilkTork ✔Tea time 13:17, 28 January 2012 (UTC)
- I actually removed the "pejoratively" bit, as explained above. ~Adjwilley (talk) 19:38, 1 February 2012 (UTC)
- Lead section will need looking at again when the focus and coverage has been decided. SilkTork ✔Tea time 13:22, 28 January 2012 (UTC)
- Article seems reasonably neutral and follows sources. SilkTork ✔Tea time 13:24, 28 January 2012 (UTC)
- Having looked at this afresh, I feel the main area of concern is the coverage and focus. The article would benefit from a slight shift in focus to concentrate on the topic, which is the Mormon people rather than the Mormon church. Sometimes this could be a matter of a simple rewording as in this. Careful editing of the History section is the first target, then a pass through the rest of the article to pick up other wordings or text which are not appropriate. Coverage concerns are mainly in the Groups section, and that would be a matter of bringing in more information about Mormon sects, and reshuffling the information about ethnicity, sexuality, etc, into the beliefs section. I don't think that a Mormon person is defined by their ethnicity or sexuality, though the Mormon church will have some rulings on such matters, and the Mormon people as a whole may have a response to that. Am I making sense here? The remaining concerns are prose and the lead. The lead will be best looked at again after the article has been tidied up, and the prose concerns are fairly minor, to do with clarity over terminology, and all other matters being OK, I would not hold up a listing just for that. I'll put this on hold for another seven days, and I hope that people can get to work and deal with the remaining issues within that time. SilkTork ✔Tea time 13:35, 28 January 2012 (UTC)
- Cmt - I agree the sect information could be alluded to, succinctly. As for the various "cultural" categorizations: Unlike with Jews, whose sub-ethnicities vary so widely (see Category:Jews by country), the lion's share of multi-generational Mormons have familial ties to Utah; so, such distinctions as that between Utah Mormons and non- and the like are notable and it would seem reasonable to include coverage of these terms in the article, at least IMO.--Hodgdon's secret garden (talk) 03:49, 30 January 2012 (UTC)
On hold
editOn hold to deal with:
- Trimming excessive text on the Mormon church
- Tried to replace stuff on church with stuff on people. ~Adjwilley (talk) 23:43, 6 February 2012 (UTC)
- Rephrasing to ensure focus is on the Mormon people rather than the Mormon church
- Bringing in a summary of the sects
- I'm not quite sure what you're looking for here. If you count all the Mormons who are members of other sects, they will represent about 0.3% of all Mormons. Of these 0.3%, I'd estimate that 99% of them can be safely categorized as Fundamentalists (those who continued the 19th century practice of polygamy). There are lots of these little sects, ranging from quiet conservative groups to texbook cults, but trying to talk about these sects, I believe, goes beyond the scope of this article.
- My opinion is that a general explanation of Fundamentalism is probably best, without trying to go into too much detail, but providing links to the Mormon Fundamentalism article. Currently Fundamentalist groups show up in the Terminology section, the end of the Pioneer era (when polygamy was discontinued and the split occurred), and the Groups section. There are also links to the two largest sects within the movement (FLDS and AUB).
- Additionally, we have two "See also" links to List of sects in the Latter Day Saint movement: one in the See Also section, and one in the hatnotes at the beginning of the Groups section.
- Anyway, I'm hoping you might clarify what you want here. ~Adjwilley (talk) 21:59, 31 January 2012 (UTC)
- Could you please clarify that in the article - that sort of information is useful. SilkTork ✔Tea time 15:52, 1 February 2012 (UTC)
- Shuffling the material in the Group section so that matters related to sexuality and ethnicity are dealt with in the belief section
- Done (described above) ~Adjwilley (talk) 23:43, 6 February 2012 (UTC)
- Clarifying some jargon terms
- Clarified or deleted the ones you pointed out. ~Adjwilley (talk) 23:43, 6 February 2012 (UTC)
- Reworking the lead after the rest of the work has been done on the article.
- I haven't touched the lead yet...the content of the article didn't change that much, though the focus did. ~Adjwilley (talk) 23:43, 6 February 2012 (UTC)
Any queries, please give me a ping - I may not pick this up on my watchlist at the moment as its quite busy. SilkTork ✔Tea time 13:40, 28 January 2012 (UTC)
- What are "foreign standards of conduct"? SilkTork ✔Tea time 01:27, 7 February 2012 (UTC)
- This looks good. I haven't time to finish tonight - hopefully I'll have chance tomorrow. SilkTork ✔Tea time 01:31, 7 February 2012 (UTC)
Pass
editThe article contains a useful and reasonably detailed guide to Mormons. The prose is clear, informative and readable. There are areas to discuss and work on, such as developing the lead, continuing to ensure the prose is easy to understand, making sure there is focus on the people rather than the church, and in dealing appropriately with sects and cultural groups; however, the article sufficiently meets the GA criteria to be listed as a Good Article. SilkTork ✔Tea time 15:22, 7 February 2012 (UTC)