Talk:Muhammad VI of Granada/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Amitchell125 (talk · contribs) 20:17, 1 September 2020 (UTC)

Happy to review this article.

Assessment

Summary

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars, etc.:

6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

7. Overall:

   Pass/Fail:

Images

The image File:Granada Spain Alhambra-Palacio-de-Comares-01.jpg does not appear to be public domain. I would replace it with File:Al-hambra 7.jpg, which a very similar-looking picture Amitchell125 (talk) 16:07, 2 September 2020 (UTC) Replaced. HaEr48 (talk) 01:43, 4 September 2020 (UTC) The image of Muhammad's family tree that you designed is an image and appears to be against the MOS policy of avoiding textual information in images (MOS:TEXTASIMAGES). I would consider replacing it with the following tree (a version of your work I produced using {{chart}}, which can easily be amended in any way). Amitchell125 (talk) 20:35, 2 September 2020 (UTC) Family tree of Muhammad V, Ismail II, and Muhammad VI Abu Said Faraj Fatima Ismail I Muhammed Butyana Yusyf I Maryam Ismail Mohammed V Ismail II daughter Muhammed VI Removed image and added the above family tree (after correcting spelling, adding ref, etc). Thank you for helping with the code! HaEr48 (talk) 01:43, 4 September 2020 (UTC) @Amitchell125: Thank you for your review. Let me know if you have more feedback! HaEr48 (talk) 01:44, 4 September 2020 (UTC) @HaEr48: I have produced an English version of the Granada map here, based as much as possible on the current map, but with an accurate coastline, hills depicted and the text arranged where possible to make it easier to read. The map can easily be amended if you see where it needs to be improved. Do you want to use it? Regards, Amitchell125 (talk) 10:37, 4 September 2020 (UTC) Amitchell125, Thank you very much, that is amazing! I used your map to replace the current one. I'll add some suggestions to the Commons talk page, if that's okay? HaEr48 (talk) 13:56, 4 September 2020 (UTC) @HaEr48: Suggestions followed, let me know if the colours still aren't right in your opinion. Amitchell125 (talk) 19:16, 4 September 2020 (UTC) Amitchell125, Thank you. The changes look great! HaEr48 (talk) 20:15, 4 September 2020 (UTC) Comments on the text to follow.

Lead section and infobox

Expand the abbreviation lit.. This is automatically provided by the template {{lang-ar}}, and it is very commonly used in Wikipedia and the meaning is rather easy to infer, so I'd prefer not changing the template. HaEr48 (talk) 18:31, 6 September 2020 (UTC) Not a problem although it's interesting to note that MOS:ABBR states "Always consider whether it is better to simply write a word or phrase out in full, thus avoiding potential confusion for those not familiar with its abbreviation." Link chronicles; Castile; Aragon; Seville. Done. HaEr48 (talk) 18:31, 6 September 2020 (UTC) In October… - In October 1359, presumably. I would include the year here. 1360, and included. HaEr48 (talk) 18:31, 6 September 2020 (UTC) Avoid ...threw himself at the mercy… - it is an idiom. Changed to "surrendered himself to". HaEr48 (talk) 18:31, 6 September 2020 (UTC) ...decided to personally kill him with a lance on 27 April and send… - consider amending to ‘...killed him with a lance on 27 April and sent…’. Done, although kept "personally" because a king personally doing this to another king seems quite notable. HaEr48 (talk) 18:31, 6 September 2020 (UTC) In the infobox, I would change Ismail II of Granada to ‘Ismail II’ and Muhammad V of Granada to ‘Muhammad V’; link Granada. Done HaEr48 (talk) 18:31, 6 September 2020 (UTC)

Geopolitical background
Is Geopolitical needed in the title? (as there's only one background section) The "origin" section provides a bit of dynastic background too, so I added "geopolitical" to clarify this. HaEr48 (talk) 22:40, 6 September 2020 (UTC) ...last Muslim state… - consider amending to ‘last Muslim remaining state…’. Done, "last remaining Muslim state". HaEr48 (talk) 22:40, 6 September 2020 (UTC)

Origin

Where the following sections comment on information provided by Vidal Castro (i.e. his article on Muhammad VI), or Fernández-Puertas, it means I would include the information in the article. Link Alhambra. Done HaEr48 (talk) 22:40, 6 September 2020 (UTC) From Vidal Castro: ...referring to his reddish hair and beard… - 'apparently' referring. Done HaEr48 (talk) 22:40, 6 September 2020 (UTC) The date and the effect of his marriage. Done HaEr48 (talk) 22:40, 6 September 2020 (UTC) Muhammad had a daughter who married. Done along with a bit about her family HaEr48 (talk) 22:40, 6 September 2020 (UTC)

Rise to power

From Vidal Castro: Vidal Castro's "Ismail II" says Ismail was 15 when his father was assassinated, and enthroned when ‘barely twenty’. He provides full details of Ismail ’s death. Added "barely twenty", but probably his age at Ismail I's death is irrelevant in Muhammad VI's article. Any aspect of Ismail's death other than the below you suggest adding? HaEr48 (talk) 22:40, 6 September 2020 (UTC) ...where he was executed. - I would include some or all of the following: "[he was] imprisoned in a criminal dungeon, where he was taken barefoot and without covering his head. Once there, he was executed and his head was cut off and thrown to the people, among whom an individual took it and walked it, carrying it by a braid of his thick hair." Added more details from the passage you mentioned. HaEr48 (talk) 04:01, 8 September 2020 (UTC) ...they scaled the Alhambra's walls… - The astrologer who gave them the best date for the coup is named. That there was a gap in the wall, and that the vizier was killed in front of his family. Mentioned about the astrologer, although I don't see his name in Vidal Castro. Added about the gap and the killing in front of the family. HaEr48 (talk) 22:40, 6 September 2020 (UTC) Ismail only ruled for 9 months. Added "less than a year" because there are multiple dates of his death. HaEr48 (talk) 22:40, 6 September 2020 (UTC) Ismail’s head was thrown down into the village, and the next day the brothers were buried. The first part was there: "Both their bodies were dumped in public covered only with rags ...", added the second part. HaEr48 (talk) 22:40, 6 September 2020 (UTC) Fernández-Puertas on p13 says that Ishmail's mother died at the hands of Muhammad. Is this an error? None of the other sources mentioned this, even though Vidal Castro covers these events surrounding Ismail's death in more detail, and Boloix Gallardo covers Ismail's mother's biographical information in more details, so I am inclined towards not including this (it might be an error). What do you think? HaEr48 (talk) 00:44, 7 September 2020 (UTC) ...who had controlled substantial amount of wealth… - consider amending to ‘...who had control of a substantial amount of wealth…’. Done HaEr48 (talk) 22:40, 6 September 2020 (UTC) ...during the holy month of Ramadan,... - I would move this to the previous sentence, so that it reads ‘...to carry out a coup on 23 August 1359, during the holy month of Ramadan.’. I prefer to keep the holy month as is, because the night of Ramadan carries some significance too. HaEr48 (talk) 22:40, 6 September 2020 (UTC)

Rule

Link Najera. Done. I would put the Arabic laqabs in italics. According to MOS:FOREIGNITALIC, proper names should not be in italic. HaEr48 (talk) 22:40, 6 September 2020 (UTC) Understood. Amitchell125 (talk) 07:56, 7 September 2020 (UTC) From Vidal Castro: Muhammad VI was a man lacking in oratory, and he hunted with dogs. Added. HaEr48 (talk) 23:29, 6 September 2020 (UTC) Muhammad VI 's double honorific names were not earned. This was covered by: "an unusual practice given his lack of major achievements". HaEr48 (talk) 22:40, 6 September 2020 (UTC) Muhammad VI 's policies towards Castile and Aragon were a change from the policies of previous emirs, and that they effected the war between the two countries. This too: "Muhammad VI stopped the customary practice of paying tribute to Castile, and instead concluding an alliance with its enemy ..." HaEr48 (talk) 22:40, 6 September 2020 (UTC) The October 1390 treat was ratified in February 1361. Vidal Castro provides details about the treaty not given in the article. Done. HaEr48 (talk) 23:30, 6 September 2020 (UTC) The article says ...by threatening to attack Marinid possessions on the Iberian Peninsula. - but it seems the attacks actually happened ("Christian and Merinid ships carried out several attacks on the Nasrid coasts"). That is different, in this case the Castilians are on the same side as the Marinids. HaEr48 (talk) 22:40, 6 September 2020 (UTC) Pressure was put on the Benimerines to return Muhammad V. (Most of the paragraph starting ‘In order to put an end…’). This was covered: "He pressured Abu Salim to allow Muhammad V to return to Granada by threatening to attack ..." Diego García de Padilla was the brother of Pedro I's wife. Actually María de Padilla was Peter's mistress, now added. Other captive knights were also returned. Done. HaEr48 (talk) 22:40, 6 September 2020 (UTC) ...they led their campaigns independently. - Vidal Castro provides more details about what happened, not included in the article. Added that Muhammad V was antagonized by Peter's insistence to keep the conquered territories. HaEr48 (talk) 22:40, 6 September 2020 (UTC) The phrase ...along with many nearby castles. is vague, whereas Vidal Castro provides the details of the castles taken. From ‘For his part…’ includes Muhammad's part in the campaign. Added the list of castles taken, as well as more about Muhammad V's part in the campaign. HaEr48 (talk) 23:29, 6 September 2020 (UTC) Fernández-Puertas on pp. 17-18 has a great quote about Muhammad VI's use hashish – worth including? This was covered in "Khatib quoted that the chief of police ...". The full quote might be overly long. HaEr48 (talk) 23:29, 6 September 2020 (UTC) Fernández-Puertas p. 18 provides details of Muhammad V's departure from Fez, and his reception by Peter I. Prefer not including that much detail about that here. It will be more appropriate for Muhammad V's own article. HaEr48 (talk) 22:40, 6 September 2020 (UTC) ...the dethroned sultan sailed … - imo the sultan should be named here to avoid any confusion. Done. HaEr48 (talk) 22:40, 6 September 2020 (UTC) ...an offensive in February… - I would include the year here. Done. 22:40, 6 September 2020 (UTC)

Downfall

From Vidal Castro: With Judging that his position was no longer tenable…, the reasons why are listed. Done. HaEr48 (talk) 22:40, 6 September 2020 (UTC) I would paraphrase Vidal Castro, who says ‘The murder of Muḥammad VI was such a serious atrocity and treason that Pedro I tried to justify his action before the Court, his advisers and the people - who opposed and lamented the execution …’. Done. HaEr48 (talk) 22:40, 6 September 2020 (UTC) From 'The same arguments also support…’ in VC are not mentioned in the article. Done. HaEr48 (talk) 22:40, 6 September 2020 (UTC) Add ‘so that if there was no guarantee of immunity, there could be no betrayal by Peter.’ (or something similar), when discussing the excuses offered for Muhammad's murder. Done. HaEr48 (talk) 22:40, 6 September 2020 (UTC) Fernández-Puertas on p. 18 says Muhammad VI was tied to a stake before being killed. Done. HaEr48 (talk) 22:40, 6 September 2020 (UTC) His death occurred on 25 April, according to Fernández-Puertas. Done. HaEr48 (talk) 22:40, 6 September 2020 (UTC) Fernández-Puertas on p. 19 says Muhammad V regained the throne on 16 March 1362. Fernández-Puertas and Vidal Castro give the same Hijri dates for Muhammad VI's flight from the Alhambra and Muhammad V's entrance, but different CE dates, so one of them must be wrong. Because the conversion can be trivially checked (e.g. using this tool [1]) we know that VC's conversion is the correct one. I added a footnote to explain. Btw, a discrepancy by one or two days can happen due to different methods of conversion, but a difference of one month can only be due to a conversion error. HaEr48 (talk) 22:46, 6 September 2020 (UTC)

On hold

A really interesting article to work on! I'm placing it on hold for a week until 13 September to allow time for the points I have raised to be addressed. I'll check through the article again for any minor issues when we are nearer the end of the review. Regards, Amitchell125 (talk) 16:29, 5 September 2020 (UTC)

Thank you Amitchell125 for your thorough feedback, which have resulted in many improvements in the article. I incorporated most of your suggestions, while at the same time trying to avoid unnecessary or undue details. I've responded to all of your points above, and explained when I disagree. Let me know if you have concerns about my responses, or if you have more feedback. HaEr48 (talk) 23:35, 6 September 2020 (UTC)

I've accepted your points where you have disagreed, although I would perhaps include at least part of the quote I suggested, if only to give this ruler, of which so little is known, a voice. There are couple of comments left to address, but we are nearly there. Amitchell125 (talk) 08:29, 7 September 2020 (UTC)

Amitchell125, responded to your remaining point above. As for the quote, I completely agree with you that it will add a much-needed voice, but the problem is it's very long (8 lines in the paper, though maybe in Wikipedia it can be less) and I can't think of a good way to cut it to, for example, under 50% of the original length, without losing the context. If you have an idea I am all ears. HaEr48 (talk) 04:05, 8 September 2020 (UTC)

HaEr48 Consider replacing Ibn al-Khatib quoted that the chief of police (sahib al-shurta) of Granada as saying that the Sultan was once addicted to hashish, and by mentioning the places he had frequented Muhammad VI helped the police uncover illegal hashish rings. with this (or something similar): According to Ibn al-Khatib, he had an hashish addition. On being informed by his sahib-al-shurta (chief of police) that his people had abandoned all their vices, Muhammad enquired, “And the hashish, what about that?” and was told none had been found. He answered, “I would that were so! But go to the house of So-and-so and So-and-so ….” and then provided the addresses of all those whose gatherings he had previously attended.' Amitchell125 (talk) 06:50, 8 September 2020 (UTC)

Amitchell125, Thanks, your suggestion is pretty good. I updated the article to something like that, let me know what you think! HaEr48 (talk) 04:18, 10 September 2020 (UTC)

HaEr48 That looks fine, I'm pleased you added something. All the best, Amitchell125 (talk) 06:37, 10 September 2020 (UTC)

Passing

Passing now, pending a last check through for punctuation, etc. I'll leave the decision about the quote up to you. Thank you for your part in the review—a very enjoyable process, as before—and congratulations on producing a high quality article.Amitchell125 (talk) 06:56, 8 September 2020 (UTC)

Amitchell125, thank you very much for the review and for passing it. Indeed I enjoyed the review process too, and as you see, it resulted in many improvements to the article. HaEr48 (talk) 04:20, 10 September 2020 (UTC)