Talk:Municipal Asphalt Plant/GA1
Latest comment: 1 year ago by Grk1011 in topic GA Review
GA Review
editThe following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
GA toolbox |
---|
Reviewing |
Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch
Reviewer: Grk1011 (talk · contribs) 13:00, 1 August 2023 (UTC)
I will review this one! Grk1011 (talk) 13:00, 1 August 2023 (UTC)
Infobox and lead
edit- Infobox information checks out, though I might suggest "1941–1944" for built year since you have 1941 in infobox and 1944 in lead.
- Done. Epicgenius (talk) 21:09, 6 August 2023 (UTC)
- Wikilink asphalt plant
- Done. Epicgenius (talk) 21:09, 6 August 2023 (UTC)
- "it was attached to a conveyor belt and storage facility, both of which have been demolished." <-This feels tacked-on. Are we to assume it was because of the conversion or was it unrelated?
- The conveyor belt and storage facility were part of the original plant. The conversion to a recreation center happened several years after the demolition of these two structures. Epicgenius (talk) 21:09, 6 August 2023 (UTC)
- "The exterior was designed with four arched ribs, The walls" <- fix the capital "The" by either splitting or better combining this sentence.
- Introducing the Murphy Center again in the second paragraph felt repetitive.
- Fixed. Epicgenius (talk) 21:09, 6 August 2023 (UTC)
- "the conveyor belt and storage facility were demolished." <- you mentioned this in the first paragraph already. I think the lead needs a quick re-focus to avoid repeating things.
- I've reworded the lead to avoid repetition. Epicgenius (talk) 21:09, 6 August 2023 (UTC)
Features
edit- remove "the" before "the FDR Drive" (a couple instances of this throughout the article. (I'm basing this on how it's referred to in FDR Drive)
- Done. Epicgenius (talk) 21:09, 6 August 2023 (UTC)
- At this point in the article, I began to wonder "what is asphalt used for". I can assume city projects, but it hasn't been stated anywhere yet.
- I added a little description. Epicgenius (talk) 21:09, 6 August 2023 (UTC)
- "In the final plans, three levels were added to the Murphy Center, rather than two." <- I got confused by this sentence. Didn't you just describe how it was planned to be three, but then you say three were built instead of the two that were planned? I think this might be an issue of what was there prior, what was added, and what the total number of stories ended up being.
- Oops. I meant "four levels, instead of three". Epicgenius (talk) 21:09, 6 August 2023 (UTC)
History
edit- "The plant supplied all of the asphalt used to repave roads in Manhattan; between 1945 and 1948, over 80 percent of repaving projects in Manhattan used asphalt." <- this sentence is rather important overall, but is tucked away in the history section. The word "road" is only used once in the article despite this building being essential in road construction. Make sure some part of this is in the lead.
- I've added this to the lead. Epicgenius (talk) 21:09, 6 August 2023 (UTC)
- "soliciting the support of 80 percent of nearby landowners." <- This is interesting phrasing. Is it landowners such as landlords of towers, building owners, etc. or actual residents/voters?
- This generally refers to building owners, but it's a bit more complicated than that. In some cases, the people who owned the building were not the same as the people who own the land underneath. This sentence is talking about the people who owned the actual land. Residents of the buildings didn't have a say in the matter, unless they owned the building themselves (which they rarely did). Epicgenius (talk) 21:09, 6 August 2023 (UTC)
- The cancelation of the development feels like it's missing something. It goes from two alternatives that appear to have support, to canceled without any stated reasons.
- Although land owners were supportive of the project, most actual residents opposed it, which is why the redevelopment was canceled. Epicgenius (talk) 21:09, 6 August 2023 (UTC)
- Unlink Richard Dattner and add a couple words about who he is to provide context
- Done. Epicgenius (talk) 21:09, 6 August 2023 (UTC)
- "American football" <- remove "American" as this is obvious in a US-focused article
- Done. Epicgenius (talk) 21:09, 6 August 2023 (UTC)
- "proposed reopening the neighboring DSNY waste transfer station in 2006" <- this waste station was mentioned earlier in the article, but the reader isn't aware that it ever closed.
- I've clarified this now. Epicgenius (talk) 21:09, 6 August 2023 (UTC)
Impact
edit- "landmar kstatus"
- Fixed. Epicgenius (talk) 21:09, 6 August 2023 (UTC)
- Is there any more information about it being added to the National Register? One statement sentence doesn't feel like enough.
- Unfortunately, the sources don't say much else about why the plant was listed on the NRHP, just that it received such a designation. Epicgenius (talk) 21:09, 6 August 2023 (UTC)
Other GA items
edit- Earwig's copyvio tool showed 24.8% chance of copyvio (meaning unlikely) with the use of "the George and Annette Murphy Center" over and over the only thing that really stood out. No problem.
- Refs: I accepted the NY Times refs in good faith. You might want to add the subscription required tag to them and any others that require it. The landmark application refs had so much detail in them. Very impressed.
- Photos: All photos are properly licensed. For me, what I really needed in this article was some sort of map showing where things were in relation to each other. With some components replacing others, I often lost track of what was still there and what had been removed.
- I can add a map of the plant in a bit. Epicgenius (talk) 21:09, 6 August 2023 (UTC)
Discussion
editHi @Epicgenius: A really great article and not much to fix. Grk1011 (talk) 14:11, 4 August 2023 (UTC)
- Thanks for the review @Grk1011. I will address these issues over the next few days. – Epicgenius (talk) 04:43, 5 August 2023 (UTC)
- @Grk1011, thanks again for the feedback. I think I've addressed all of these issues now. Epicgenius (talk) 21:09, 6 August 2023 (UTC)
- @Epicgenius: Looks great! Looking forward to the map if you're able to get that done at some point (not necessary for GA). Passing this now! Grk1011 (talk) 13:37, 7 August 2023 (UTC)
- @Grk1011, thanks again for the feedback. I think I've addressed all of these issues now. Epicgenius (talk) 21:09, 6 August 2023 (UTC)
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.