Talk:Murder of Bianca Devins/GA3

GA Review

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Reviewer: Some Dude From North Carolina (talk · contribs) 20:49, 18 May 2021 (UTC)

Hey, I'm going to be reviewing this article. Expect comments by the end of the week. Some Dude From North Carolina (talk) 20:49, 18 May 2021 (UTC)

• Hi @Some Dude From North Carolina: I think I've adequately resolved your qualms but if there's any more feel free to say. It's all for the the greater good. DMT biscuit (talk) 07:52, 25 May 2021 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

• "Although police reports say the murder was premeditated" - why does this sentence abruptly stop?

• Good question, it was recent edit that slipped by, my bad. Fixed by implementing it into the last sentence.

• "attention by news" - doesn't sound right. maybe reword to "attention from the news"

Background

• "called him as obsessive" → "called him obsessive"
• Pokémon should be in italics.
• Link Albany, New York.
• "she ran away to" - 'away' and 'to' are opposites. maybe "away with"?
• 4chan. → 4chan.

Murder

• Serial comma after "Devins, Clark".
• Is the comma after "her and Alex" necessary?
• Remove the comma after "dead-end road".
• Add a comma after "one from Clark".
• police arrived. → police arrived.
• family. → family.
• The third paragraph should mention that Clark survived his suicide attempt.

Reaction

• The #pinkcloudsforbianca image/caption should also be explained in prose.
• A mobile user would see the image before the text, so explain what "the images" were.
• If you're linking YouTube, also link Twitter and Reddit.
• Add a serial comma after "YouTube, Twitter".
• Also after "cropped, realigned".
• Remove the comma after "in the trial".

Aftermath

• Serial comma after "kill someone".
• "share results" → "share the results"
• Remove the comma after Marianne Buttenschon.
• "which would" → "that would"

References

• Update source title for #9 ("who killed teen" → "who killed Bianca Devins")
• A few sources can still be archived.
• That's about it. Excellent sourcing.

Progress

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
It is reasonably well written. a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists): It is factually accurate and verifiable. a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism): It is broad in its coverage. a (major aspects): b (focused): It follows the neutral point of view policy. Fair representation without bias: It is stable. No edit wars, etc.: It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate. a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall: Pass/Fail:
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