Talk:Music and politics in Ethiopia

Latest comment: 3 years ago by Light&highbeautyforever in topic Copy edit

Peer Review

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The article is very well written. It is neutral and presents all the facts that are needed. I was impressed by the detailed background and different sections that highlighted the presence of music in movements. I would suggest more examples! I think you should especially include the death of the famous Oromo musician Hachaalu and connect it with the protests that occurred over the summer. It really speaks to the nationalism that exists. I like the format and sections of different aspects of nationalism. I would love to apply that to my article in terms of the way the judicial system affects nationalism perhaps.

==Peer Review == (Ny2020) I like the depth that this article goes into. The only possible addition I could see would be to expand on some areas to make it more rounded. What I mean by that is, an example, when you mentioned women being excluded from the political sphere and being confined to the home sphere, perhaps an example of they were excluded-even a rudimentary one at that- would help. Other than that the depth and different dives that are shown here are an incredible value-add in terms of the Wikipedia General Knowledge. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Newyou2020 (talkcontribs) 21:48, 13 November 2020 (UTC)Reply

Peer Review

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This article does a great job of providing thorough background information in each section. One suggestion for improvement would be to include citations more frequently, such as after more of the sentences that you use to introduce new information, rather than at the end of each paragraph. Even if most of the information in any given paragraph comes from the same source, including citations by sentence, when necessary, allows the reader to understand exactly where the information is coming from and what sources they should use to learn more about the subject. If the “Background” section at the beginning of the article isn’t the lead section, it might be helpful to include a lead section that briefly summarizes the importance of the topic. In addition, section heading 1.4, “Gender, Family, Migration, National Identity,” seems to define a broad subject. Would it be possible to give the section a more specific and clear title and/or to split it up into more specific sections, as necessary? Finally, in the section about Asnaqetch Werqu, I think that it would be helpful to briefly explain why “tak[ing] on such a role” was “very bold” of Werqu, and to include citations for that claim. Overall, the article provides a thorough overview of relevant background information and an easy-to-follow explanation of more specific details. Sago1031 (talk) 22:00, 13 November 2020 (UTC)Reply

Copy edit

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This article is flagged for a copy edit so I am going to take a look. Light&highbeautyforever (talk) 18:41, 24 January 2021 (UTC)Reply

Done for now. There were some details I wasn't sure about (for example, is “tizita” a song or a genre?) but I redid the headings and reorgainzed some of the paragraphs to flow more chronologically. Didn't tackle the lead. Light&highbeautyforever (talk) 22:11, 24 January 2021 (UTC)Reply