Talk:Myst Online: Uru Live/GA1

GA Review

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Sorry for the delayed review. I did a little copy-editing so that the review wouldn't become too long. Here are the issues I found:

• File:MOULBevinGroupShot.jpg needs to be reduced in size. 800 × 600 px is kinda big.  Done - _TalkIslander 20:45, 31 January 2009 (UTC)
• Each player has his or her own personal Age, called Relto, that is separate from public areas. – I didn’t understand this sentence.
• surface dweller – This term also appeared in my review of Myst (series), but I still can’t find out what it means. I checked Dictionary.com and Wiktionary, but neither had the term. Perhaps you could just explain it to me.
• According to the story, though the D'ni society crumbled, archeologists discovered the caverns and teamed with a development studio (Cyan Worlds) to produce educational video games based on their findings. – I’m not following this. I thought it all was fictional, so what has Cyan Worlds have to do with it?
• Onyett continued that – Sounds a little awkward IMO.
• In 2006, Cyan developed a stand-in for Uru Live, called Until Uru; this replacement was hosted by players in servers known as "shards", and did not have content updates or official support. – This may need a source.
• After 60 days, the game went offline on April 10, 2008. – Same as above.
• "an important part of Myst's atmosphere came from being alone in a very strange place." – If this is the whole sentence, then the first word should be capitalised. If not, the final quotation mark should be placed before the period.
• In an article discussing the current state of the adventure game genre, IGN writers Steve Butts and Charles Onyett considered the major issues with Myst Online that while a different kind of adventure game, Myst Online was not accessible to players other than the "hardcore faithful", and the franchise needed "to try something more dramatic than slapping an online architecture onto a game that already released, then periodically putting out small content updates." – This sentence is very long and kinda hard to understand. Needs to be clarified. Also, see my previous point for the quote.
• I think the word “would” is used too much in the bulleted list. Try cutting some of them for better flow.
• and Cyan planned to reopen the game on Cyan servers without new Cyan content – I think “Cyan” is used too much here.
• Guild of Writers/Guild of Maintainers – Who are they?
• This would include a process to bring approved and tested content forward to the main server for all users to enjoy – Not sure if “enjoy” is the right word here.
• The two points about binaries (whatever that means) is very confusing. But that’s probably just me being very unknowledgeable about computing, so you can ignore this comment.
• Ultimate milestone: Cyan Worlds will create new content and storyline. This could be done solely by Cyan or in conjunction with the Guilds. – This makes no sense to me.

Once these concerns have been addressed, I'll pass the article. The Prince (talk) 20:31, 31 January 2009 (UTC)

I'm going to pass this article now, since I'm going on a wikibreak. The concerns are rather minor so it's not a big deal if you don't address them. I think I got most of the issues in my copy-editing. The Prince (talk) 16:11, 1 February 2009 (UTC)