Talk:NMS Mărășești/GA1

Latest comment: 5 years ago by L293D in topic GA Review

GA Review

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The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: L293D (talk · contribs) 03:28, 21 November 2018 (UTC)Reply

Will do. L293D ( • ) 03:28, 21 November 2018 (UTC)Reply

Source review

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All refs look reliable, although I don't really like the grouped citations.

Image review

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Everything good.

Infobox

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  • There is an inconsistency in the length between the infobox and prose.

Lead

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  • She was renamed again when she was re-purchased by the Romanians in 1920. - clarify that she was renamed Mărășești
  • A lot of "she"s in the lead - perhaps change a few to "Mărășești" or "the ship".
  • After the Axis invasion of the Soviet Union on 22 June 1941 (Operation Barbarossa), - not a fan of the parentheses, pipe the link or place in commas.
  • In early 1944 the Soviets were able to cut off and surround the port of Sevastopol on the Crimean Peninsula. She escorted convoys evacuating Axis troops from Sevastopol and rescued some troops herself in May. - merge in one sentence
  • Renamed Lyogkiy , the ship only served for a year before she was returned to the Romanians who renamed her D11 in 1952. - remove space before comma and change one occurrence of renamed to a synonym if possible.

Design and description

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  • The ships had an overall length of 94.7 meters - as said earlier, 94.7 is inconsistent with the infobox.
  • Where was the last 152 mm gun?

Construction and service

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  • Nibbio was laid down by Pattison on 29 January 1914 at their Naples shipyard. - the ship was laid by Pattison? The person or the company? Also suggest unlinking Naples or shipyard per WP:SEAOFBLUE
  • Assigned to the Adriatic, the ship was covering the recovery of a broken-down flying boat in the Gulf of Drin with her sisters Aquila and Sparviero on 5 September when they spotted three Austro-Hungarian torpedo boats sweeping mines. - "covering the recovery" sounds repetitive to me.
  • The following month, the sisters escorted Allied ships as they bombarded Durazzo, Albania, on 2 October. Nibbio, Aquila and their sister Sparviero covered the ships bombarding Medua on 21 October. - merge in one sentence to avoid the confusing pronouns.

World War II

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  • Massively outnumbered by the Soviet Black Sea Fleet, the Romanian ships were kept behind the minefields defending Constanța for several months after the start of Operation Barbarossa on 22 June 1941, training for convoy escort operations - long, suggest split in two
  • Beginning on 5 October, the Romanians began laying minefields - begin comes up twice, reword
  • the Romanians is repeated twice in para 1, change one to the Romanian navy
  • Sometime during 1941–1942, gthe ships turbines were damaged and limited her to a speed of 22 knots (41 km/h; 25 mph). - to my knowledge, "gthe" is not an English word
  • After Sevastopol surrendered on 4 July, - Sevastopol surrendered to who?
  • Mărășești was renamed D11 when the Romanian destroyers were assigned numbers when the Destroyer Division was redesignated as the 418th Destroyer Division in 1952. - three times the verb 'is' and twice 'when', reword or split

GA Progress

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Good Article review progress box
Criteria: 1a. prose ( ) 1b. MoS ( ) 2a. ref layout ( ) 2b. cites WP:RS ( ) 2c. no WP:OR ( ) 2d. no WP:CV ( )
3a. broadness ( ) 3b. focus ( ) 4. neutral ( ) 5. stable ( ) 6a. free or tagged images ( ) 6b. pics relevant ( )
Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked   are unassessed

Thanks for the review, see if my changes satisfy.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 15:32, 25 November 2018 (UTC)Reply


The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.