Talk:NMS Regele Ferdinand/GA1
Latest comment: 5 years ago by L293D in topic GA Review
GA Review
edit- The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Reviewer: L293D (talk · contribs) 19:51, 13 November 2018 (UTC)
Very nice article - will be doing this in the next couple days. L293D (☎ • ✎) 19:51, 13 November 2018 (UTC)
Lead
edit- Add a couple sentences about the laying down, launching, and commissioning after opening sentence.
- That's not summarizing and would be redundant to the infobox and main body.
- Any random FA (e.g. SMS Emden) will have a few sentences about that. IMHO, its helpful for readers to get an idea of the time period the boat was built in in the first sentences.
- That is a necessity, I agree, but I think that that's too much detail in the lede and redundant to the main body, but Parsecboy disagrees. As an alternative I offer my FA, Japanese battleship Asahi, which tells the reader which decade the ship was built in, but only in a summary fashion by not providing exact dates.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 16:47, 19 November 2018 (UTC)
- I disagree, but that's a personal preference so Ill leave it to you. L293D (☎ • ✎) 18:52, 19 November 2018 (UTC)
- That is a necessity, I agree, but I think that that's too much detail in the lede and redundant to the main body, but Parsecboy disagrees. As an alternative I offer my FA, Japanese battleship Asahi, which tells the reader which decade the ship was built in, but only in a summary fashion by not providing exact dates.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 16:47, 19 November 2018 (UTC)
- Any random FA (e.g. SMS Emden) will have a few sentences about that. IMHO, its helpful for readers to get an idea of the time period the boat was built in in the first sentences.
- That's not summarizing and would be redundant to the infobox and main body.
Background and design
edit- Add
{{Main Article}}
or{{See also}}
to Regele Ferdinand-class destroyer- Why? It's linked in the lede
and the fire-control system was from Germany
- remove "was".- Good idea
The Regele Ferdinand-class ships had an overall length of 101.9 metres (334 ft 4 in), had a beam of 9.6 metres
- remove second had.and a mean draught of
- what does "mean" do here?- Average.
- Merge sentence 2 and 3 in second para.
- You want me to merge the sentence about the displacement and the one about the crew size together?
- Link 8.8 cm Flak 18/36/37/41 at the end of 4th para.
- Good catch.
Construction and Career
editnamed for King Ferdinand I of Romania,
- named after King Ferdinandlaid down by Pattison[7] in June 1927 at their Naples, Italy, shipyard.
- reword, reads confusingly.The ship was assigned to the Destroyer Squadron
- was there only one destroyer squadron in Romania?- Yep, only four destroyers total after these two were delivered.
- Link Constanța.
- It is on first use.
- Link Crimean Offensive somewhere - that's what the boat did for most of its war service.
- Linked in the lede in the sentence that starts "In early 1944..."
- The phrase "the Romanians" comes up in two consecutive sentences in para 2 - change one to "Romanian Navy" or something similar.
- Good idea.
On the nights of 22/23 and 24/25 June, Regele Ferdinand, Regina Maria and the flotilla leader Mărășești covered the laying of defensive minefields off Odessa.
- remove "flotilla leader", already defined in preceding para.- That's the sister of Marasti, so not defined.
Adolf Hitler suspended the evacuation
- might want to specify the city being evacuated.- Not just the city until later. Initially it was throughout the Crimea.
when she was discarded
- to my knowledge, discarded is not a nautical term. Stricken might do better.- Perhaps, but discarded is what the official Romanian website translation used
Thanks for the review. See if my changes are satisfactory.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 03:43, 19 November 2018 (UTC)
GA Progress
editGood Article review progress box
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- The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.