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Talk:Nailsea/GA1

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Latest comment: 13 years ago by Malleus Fatuorum in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Latest comment: 13 years ago39 comments4 people in discussion
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Reviewer: Malleus Fatuorum 17:50, 28 April 2011 (UTC)Reply

Lead
  • The caption for the image in the lead says "Nailsea and Backwell viewed from Cadbury Camp", yet Backwell isn't mentioned in the lead. What has Backwell to do with Nailsea?
History
  • It seems very out of place to begin this section by talking about Nailsea Court in a very short introductory paragraph.
  • A little bit has been added on the Roman era, however having gone back to books on Somerset & Avon there is very little recorded before coal & glass making.— Rod talk 19:02, 28 April 2011 (UTC)Reply
  • I'm a bit concerned about this section in general. It tells me quite a bit about the coal mining and glass works, but next to nothing about Nailsea itself, like when it was first inhabited, when and why (the railway?) it grew to become a commuter town and so on.
  • One of the books (Dunning 2003, History of Somerset - 3rd Ed) says Nailsea was largely unaffected by the railway & only expanded when roads improved as one of several satellites for Bristol (& to a lesser extent Weston -super-Mare).— Rod talk 19:02, 28 April 2011 (UTC)Reply
  • This source (which wouldn't pass RS) says "By 1086 the Domesday Book describes a hamlet of 28 subsistence farmers living off what they could grow. And for the next 700 years, agriculture was the way that people earned their money, with gradually increasing amounts of marshland being drained to make way for fields."— Rod talk 19:27, 28 April 2011 (UTC)Reply
  • Thanks for this, however there seem to be several different explanations, each with limited evidence to support them (& I would have problems formatting a reference to the Uni of Nottingham popup page) and therefore this has not yet been addressed (& I'm not sure if it can be definitively).— Rod talk 07:52, 3 May 2011 (UTC)Reply
  • There was no single "40-400 AD period invasion".
  • "The earliest date for coal mining in Nailsea was first recorded in 1507 ...". That doesn't really make sense. Is the earliest recorded date 1507 or was it recorded in 1507?
  • "By the late 1700s the town had a large number of pits and was visited by the social reformer Hannah More who founded a Sunday school for the workers." Trying to cram too much in there, and it's consequently become a bit garbled.
  • "Other parts of the site are currently being cleared and filled with sand to ensure that the remains of the old glass works are preserved." When is currently? As of 2011?
Economy
  • "Coate's cider factory was bought by Showerings of Shepton Mallet in 1956 ...". This is just parachuted in without any context. Was the Coate's factory in Nailsea? When did it open?
  • "Adge Cutler, whose backing band were The Wurzels, used to work at the factory." We get told about Adge Cutler and The Wurzels again in the Notable people section, and I'm not really sure this has any place in the Economy section anyway.
Culture and community
  • "Nailsea includes pubs and a small nightclub ...". "Includes" isn't the right word there.
  • "The Scotch Horn park contains a skate park ...". Should "park" be capitalised there? What is the park called? The Scotch Horn or the Scotch Horn Park?
  • "Noah's Ark Zoo Farm has of exotic, agricultural and domestic animals ...". Clearly something missing there.
  • revised
  • "... room for other indoor sports, but notably not a swimming pool." In what way is it notable?
Sport
  • "The 1st XV currently play in Somerset 1 (level 9 of the RFU league system) ...". Need to avoid words like "currently", as they age and I've got no idea when this was written. Better to say something like "as of the 2010–2011 season".
  • "There are two different junior football teams ranging from Under 8's to Under 16's." Which is it? A range or just two?
  • It now says "There are two different junior football teams in the area that both range from Under 8's to Under 16's", which I still don't understand. Are there two different teams or two teams? And how can a team range from under 8's to under 16's? Malleus Fatuorum 18:25, 3 May 2011 (UTC)Reply
  • I have sorted this sentence: "There are two seperate junior football teams in the area that range from Under 8's to Under 16's." Since they are junior teams, they are both seperate but they host games from Under 8's to Under 16's. Jaguar (talk) 20:35, 5 May 2011 (UTC)Reply
  • "These teams accompany three different adult football teams in the area along with two different 5 a side leagues and a basketball team." The word "different" is used three times in two consecutive sentences, but what's it trying to tell me? In what way do the junior teams "accompany" the senior teams?
  • It now says "These teams both accompany three adult football teams in the area along with two different 5 a side leagues and a basketball team", but I still don't understand it. The teams accompany (whatever that means) ... along with two 5-a-side leagues? And once again, why that "different"? Malleus Fatuorum 18:25, 3 May 2011 (UTC)Reply
  • I have reworded it: "These two teams also accompany three adult football teams in the area along with two 5 a side leagues and a basketball team." There are only two teams in the area which accompany (which still comes under one team) a a few adult football teams. Jaguar (talk) 20:42, 5 May 2011 (UTC)Reply
  • I'm afraid that I'm still not getting it. What does "accompany" mean here? And what have the two teams to do with the the rwo five-a-side leagues? Are the leagues local to Nailsea? Malleus Fatuorum 21:20, 5 May 2011 (UTC)Reply
Governance
  • "It is now within the North Somerset unitary authority, which covers part of the ceremonial county of Somerset but it is administered independently of the non-metropolitan county." Administered independently by whom?
References
  • There's one dead link.[1]

I think that's about it, so the review is now on hold for the customary seven days. Malleus Fatuorum 15:33, 30 April 2011 (UTC)Reply

Units of measure

  • It says "8 miles from the centre". A conversion into km would make the article more accessible.
  • It says "temperatures of 1 °C (33.8 °F) or 2 °C (35.6 °F) are common" Precision is part art, part science. In these cases, I think conversions should be limited to integer values.

Hope that helps Lightmouse (talk) 15:47, 30 April 2011 (UTC)Reply

Current state of play

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I'm going to fail this article because of its very poor Sports section. I've asked repeatedly for clarification but very little has been forthcoming.

  • "Nailsea and Backwell RFC was established in 1972" is the opening sentence, yet the citation is to Nailsea United Football Club's web site, who were founded in 1897.
  • "There are two seperate junior football teams in the area that range from Under 8's to Under 16's." Disregarding the poor spelling, I've complained about this sentence several times now, yet nothing has been done to improve it.
  • The bottom line is that unless this section is completely rewritten, intelligibly and with accurate sourcing, then this article will not be listed as a GA. I understand that the nominator is preoccupied with studying for exams, and I have no wish to add additional pressure by keeping this review open. Malleus Fatuorum 23:50, 5 May 2011 (UTC)Reply
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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