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Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment
editThis article was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment, between 7 January 2019 and 15 May 2019. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Lstofko. Peer reviewers: DragonDale, Tnrud23.
Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT (talk) 01:23, 18 January 2022 (UTC)
Nambi Peer Review
editDear Lstofko,
Awesome article! You were very descriptive, yet non-plagiarizing in your summary of the Ugundan Creation Myth. The historical significance is also very interesting topic to add.
As for improvements, there were a few typos:
-"When Nambi and her sister return to Mugulu they tell him of their findings", I would add a comma after Mugulu
-"The next day, Nambi saw only the cow and heaven and became very upset", change "and" to "in"
-"After some time Nambi and Kintu three children", add "have" or "had" after kintu
-"Warumbe grows upset because he still had no helper", 2 different tenses being used here, I would change "had" to "has", or "grows" to "grew"
Your summary of Thury and Deviney states that "Kaikuzi formulates a plan of two days of silence, claiming that Warumbe will come up from the ground to see why no one is making noise. Kaikuzi's plan works and he captures and sends Warumbe to Tanda, a different area of Uganda. When he is sent there, he comes across children who scream when they notice his presence, breaking the silence. Kaikuzi, frustrated, states that he will no longer partake in bringing Warumbe back to Mugulu in heaven"
This summary makes it sound like Kaikuzi captures Warumbe and sends him to Tanda, but releases Warumbe because he was angry at the children for not following directions. The textbook states that, after ordering everyone to be silent for 2 days, Kaikuzi goes into the ground and forces Warumbe out in tanda (as opposed to capturing him and sending him to Tanda), and that is when the pact of silence is broken. Then Kaikuzi gives up on his pursuit, after several days of never successfully capturing Warumbe.
Your opening sentences in your first section titled "Nambi" sources another wikipedia page (Ggulu), which is not a credible source. I would find stronger sources that are used in the Ggulu Wiki Article and cite those as your sources.
Lastly, the "Peer Review" Wiki training module recommends to use multiple sources. While you do have 2 strong sources, only one source, (T&D), is used for the main story. When researching Warumbe, I came across many versions of the story that had slight differences. With these differences, I was able to edit parts of my article to fit all versions of the story, or add more details.
DragonDale (talk) 02:53, 10 April 2019 (UTC)
- Thanks, DragonDale, for your comprehensive and helpful review. There are some very good suggestions here, particularly with grammatical and bibliographic improvements. Lstofko I agree that you'll need additional sources so that you are not simply re-telling the story of Nambi, but including other aspects like interpretation and modern reception (think about trying to find answers in the sources about what Nambi represents for the Ganda peoples). Remember you can link to the film shown in class, even if it was never fully produced, since Nambi figures heavily there. I mentioned this on other students' comments, but you and DragonDale and Nikkimats are all going to want to work together going forward, since you have related topics, and should be sharing advice about bibliography and stylistic presentation. Keep up the great work, it's a lot of effort to create a new page! Gardneca (talk) 18:42, 17 April 2019 (UTC)
Hi Lstofko,
I'm your second peer reviewer. I love your article but I just wanna reaffirm Prof and add on a few things.
- If there are Wikipedia pages created for the names that you mentioned, I think it'll be good to add them as links on your article.
- I felt like I was reading a Kintu article rather than a Nambi article. I think you can make the summary of the myth a little shorter or find more sources that show more Nambi's view.
- Also, if there is a picture of Nambi you can find online, I think it could create a good picture in the audience's mind.
I think everything else was mentioned. Great job on creating a new article! Tnrud23 (talk) 20:44, 21 April 2019 (UTC)
See also section
editAs I have described in my previous edit summaries here and here, the see also section should not include any links that were already included in the body of the article. Please review the MOS:NOTSEEALSO section of the manual of style. The see also section is intended to be a place to include links for related, but not previously mentioned, articles. Continuing to re-add the same content that has been removed with an explanation could be construed as disruptive editing. Thank you. Jmertel23 (talk) 13:55, 4 May 2019 (UTC)
History
editHelp me and write the story of kintu and nambi. 154.228.93.85 (talk) 14:48, 27 February 2022 (UTC)