Talk:Native American policy of the Barack Obama administration

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Peer review

Latest comment: 9 years ago1 comment1 person in discussion

You've brought together a broad range of materials on a variety of policy areas, giving this article a strong structure and a lot of good content. However, it doesn't feel as richly informative as it could in some places. Here's a list of suggestions, ordered roughly in the same order as the article.

Review WP:LEAD on structuring the lead section. It should be more of an overview and less of an introduction, or overall evaluation. Outline what Obama has done, and subsequently summarize praise and criticism (but don't quote it in the lead). Put the long history of mistrust in a "Background" section following the lead, and quote government officials who acknowledge it as well (like Kevin Gover's apology from the BIA and Obama here).
Expand the "significant events" sentence into several sentences that describe his policies, rather than listing them.
It seems unlikely that the Memo on Energy Saving Projects really was a turning point; maybe background the particular legislation?
Sixth Annual Tribal Nations Conference: The TNConferences are a really big deal and a new initiative of the Obama administration. So don't just cover the sixth one. What are they? and why are they happening now? See Shulterbrandt in the potential sources.
Sentences like the first in "Education" are heavy with official titles. Do we need to know the official or their full title? Consider options for clarity and concision.
13592: Too many officials and too little explanation of "has been contested." Translate the political language ("aim to work to create, enhance, and reform educational policies and programs," "maximizing the potential of tribal efficacy in education initiatives") into plain explanations.
Tribal Leaders Speak: Please summarize the report's conclusions. What is the state of education in Native American communities?
Tribal Law and Order Act of 2010: What were the previous limits on tribal jurisdiction and action against violence against women?
Keystone: "Description" seems forced. Instead this section should open with a description of what the pipeline is and immediately say how it affects Native peoples.
Dene: Are they not also affected by the pipeline? Just checking.

Major suggested addition:

How is the human rights situation of indigenous peoples evaluated by observers in recent years. One place to start is James Anaya's 2012 report (see below.)

--Carwil (talk) 17:41, 10 June 2015 (UTC)Reply

Potential Sources

A must read: Elizabeth Shulterbrandt, The 5 W's of the White House Tribal Nations Conferences: 2009-2011
Policy statement from Obama 2008 campaign [1]
[ http://daccess-dds-ny.un.org/doc/UNDOC/GEN/G12/162/70/PDF/G1216270.pdf?OpenElement The situation of indigenous peoples in the United States of America], Report of the Special Rapporteur on the rights of indigenous peoples, James Anaya. (2012)

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