Talk:Neil Etheridge/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 12:31, 28 October 2018 (UTC)

Comments as I'm accustomed to seeing, no major issues at all with GA criteria, so please take the following as you see fit:

• Avoid single-sentence paras, e.g. opening the lead and closing the lead in such a manner is a little jarring.
• Would also reduce it down to three paras.
• I usually just add "association" with football, to ensure we get no complaints from those outside the only real code...
• " making over 90 appearances " -> more than 90.
• Chelsea youth team in the infobox and Club career section is piped to a redirect.
• "He took up the sport of football " no need for "the sport of"
• " in Fleet, Hampshire where " comma after Hampshire.
• Caution over those small paras again as we go into the Fulham section.
• "underwent surgery on both knees." any precursor to this?
• "2009–10 season " I usually put season inside the piped link.
• " extension in May that would extend " extension ... extend, repetitive.
• "in which was his and Rovers first clean sheet of" not sure you need the "in" here. And wouldn't it be "Rovers'"?
• "end of 2013–14 season" you didn't link that particular season.
• " with the Saddlers" I think this is just unnecessarily confusing for non-football readers. Just remove.
• "nominated for the August Player of the Month." this probably needs a link or some context, again for non-experts.
• "his countries matches" shouldn't that be "his country's matches"?
• "single goal-enabling" definitely shouldn't be a hyphen, maybe a comma?
• "kept the scoreline respectable " a little too colloquial for my taste.
• " 3rd place" third place.
• "In his home nation, the Philippines, " after the previous section about his international career, I don't think "his home nation" is really needed here.
• Some spaced hyphens in the ref titles (should be en-dashes).

That's all I have. I'll put it on hold while we get through these, but as I noted, it's pretty much there, these are the icing on a decent cake. The Rambling Man (talk) 19:08, 28 October 2018 (UTC)

@The Rambling Man: Thanks very much for the review, I've amended all of the points above bar one. In regards to adding association before football, I have no real strong feelings either way but the WP:Football MoS would go against that and, more than likely, I don't think it'll last long before someone removes it. I'm happy to add if you feel it's an important addition, let me know your thoughts. Kosack (talk) 20:59, 28 October 2018 (UTC)

Kosack, happy with those changes, so I'm passing. Good work. The Rambling Man (talk) 12:35, 29 October 2018 (UTC)